glimpse of us. (Ben hargreeves x reader)

-2- "im nothing like that Ben."

(guys it daddy issues this time, my playlist just knows when to play the right songs!! im kind of talking about "i didn't cry when you left at first, But now that you're dead it hurts." that came on while I started writing this!)

we got back to the Sparrow academy and ben brought me to his room, he sat down on his bee and stared at his wall, there was a lot of art work of the same women. 

I looked at the pictures on his wall, "thats Jennifer." he nods.

"I keep getting nightmares about that night. how I let her die."

"well if you think about it, if you did save her you'd be just like my ben." he frowns.

"im nothing like that ben."

"I know. and that's what disappoints me." It was like the room started closing in. Why did i say that. Did i mean it? ofcourse i did. I got up. "im gonna go shower." he nods. I walked into his bathroom. I got undressed and waited for the water to heat up. my back faced the door. I heard it creek open.

"hey y/n i-" he dropped the towel he was holding. "oh. uhm." my face started heating up. I watched his eyes wonder.

"excuse me. get the fuck out??." he looks back up at me and nods.

"right uhm. sorry? but nice.." he shuts the door. I wanted to drown myself. I washed up and put some of bens clothes on. I walked out making no eye contact.

"so, I ordered a bigger bed if we are both going to be staying in here for some time. but until it gets here I am going to sleep on this couch."

"you can sleep in the bed with me. nothing weird is going to happen. we're just friends."

"we're... friends..?" I look around confused.

"uhm. yeah?" he said with a straight face.

"why are you being nice to me?" I asked.

"No one here, likes me. I dont know why but I just want them too." I nod. "I have a question."

"hm?" he sighed.

"so if you and your ben were dating does that mean we are..?"

"no." he looked at me all confused. "you're different. so. different."

"how. im literally him?" I shake my head.

"you're not though. look at the Jennifer accident. he killed himself for her and you let her die."

"I wasnt going to die for her." He raised his voice out of frustration. "whatever." he walked out of the room. I couldn't stop thinking about ben. all the things klaus told me. the things ben wished he could've told me. I mean I had one special moment with him. it was almost like I talked to him again. unfortunately he went into the light after he talked to me. he said he final goodbyes. he, 'klaus', kissed my forehead and then he was gone.

I felt a tear fall onto my arm. ben came back into the room.

"Are you actually crying over that?"

"im not crying over you. I'd never do that." I laid down. I pushed myself against the wall, the best spot in any bed. Ben laid down next to me. I faced the wall and he faced the door. we sat like this for 30 minutes. we didnt say anything, maybe i was to rude. I rolled over.

"ben." I said softly. "are you awake?"

"I am now. what do you want..." he said in a raspy voice.

"im sorry. I didnt mean to be rude eariler."

"whatever." he rolled over. I gasped, our faces were really close.  "shit. sorry." he stared at me for a couple seconds in silence.

"Ben." I might regret this later.

"hm?"

"this might be weird but, is it okay if I sleep closer to you?" his eyes widened.

"uhm.. no. im good." He said before turning over to face the door.

"oh. ok. good night. " I turned over and shut my eyes. I fell asleep right after that. I woke up before Ben. I looked at my phone, it was 7:43. I texted klaus and five, klaus who was probably drunk didnt answer. five did. he said they were at the obsidian hotel.

six

wya sweetie pie>

<first off.
<fuck you for leaving us.
<second off.
<don't call me that ridiculous name.
<THIRD OFF. obsidian hotel.

ok once ben wakes up ill be there.>

<you're hanging out with ben??
<HA ironic!

yeahh. hes not my Ben, but do you think this is what. My Ben. would want? I mean it's another version of him. just. the dick head version.>

that's probably not one he would < want you to fall in love with.

whattttt...>
im not falling in love with asshole ben?>

<😐.
<for now.
<anyways.
8:30 obsidian hotel. if lover boy isn't awake by then, wake his ass <up.

bitch, okay 🤨>

<find a hole and die.

five is so sweet! I sat on my phone until 8:20. Ben still wasn't awake. I tapped his shoulder.

"Are you alive?" he groaned.

"fuck off.." he said pulling the blanket over his face.

"no? I have places to be get your ass up." he sat up and looked at me.

"Places like where?" He rubbed his eyes.

"Places that dont concern you?". he nods.

"If it doesn't concern me then why are you waking me up." I shrugged and got out of bed. Grace walked in the room.

"Y/n? Reginald has told me to bring you these clothes." she handed me a box of clothes. they were my old clothes? how the fuck did he get these?

"Thank you grace." she smiles and shuts the door. I looked through the box and found something to wear. I went in the bathroom to change. I left the bathroom with my dirty clothes in hand.

"Do you h-" I froze. ben was only in boxers.

"Do I what?"

"nothing. but uh hold on." he looked confused. I grabbed new bandages. "can I change them?" he shrugged and sat down on the bed. I took off the old ones and threw them away. I started wrapping the new ones.

"It looks better." he nods, he had a stupid smirk on his face. I finished wrapping them. "what?" he pushed me away from him.

"nothing." he looked down at his lap.

"okay?" I said placing the bandages on the dresser.

"you're kind of.." he stopped talking and rolled his eyes. He got up to finish getting dressed.

"What?" I asked him, he shook his head so I left the room and got in a taxi to obsidian hotel.