stay with me

Chapter 39

Hunter:

I've been in my new apartment for about two weeks now and it's a lot like my old one. It's small and crappy but hey I don't need much. My new job isn't too bad. I've met some cool people but I don't really interact with anyone too much. I mainly keep to myself. Girls throw themselves at me every night I'm bartending but I don't flirt back. I can't even look at them let alone talk to them. It hurts my tips sometimes but I really don't give a shit because none of those girls are Grey.

Daniel called me a little over a week ago and let me know about what happened when he told Sam and Grey I had left. It broke my heart when he told me Grey made him show her my empty apartment. She wouldn't believe I was gone until he did. Then when he told me she fell to the ground and cried I was shattered. It was official. I was the scummiest person on the planet.

The idea that she hated me really tore me up but I reminded myself that she needed to hate me in order to move on and meet someone who was worthy of her. I was doing this for her. That had become my new mantra throughout this whole thing. Every time I felt like I couldn't do this I reminded myself that she needed me to do this even if she didn't realize it.

After she sang to me at the bar I seriously thought about fighting for her. I thought about throwing in the towel and telling her how much I love her. How much I need her and want her. But I couldn't do that. It was that same night I told Daniel I needed to get out. He called his family the next day and they were able to find me an apartment and a job the day after that. Everything was set. I didn't renew the lease on my apartment and I packed up my stuff and left a few days later.

I thought about leaving Grey a note or something but it didn't seem right. It was best she get a clean break from me. That's why she couldn't know I was leaving. I have a feeling if she knew she could have stopped me. She was the only one who could have.

I had been doing a lot of drinking since I left. When I say a lot I mean a lot. I think I was drunk more than I was sober. It was the only way I could get through each day. I needed to be numb. I needed not to feel this ache in my chest. I needed not to think about her.

Today before I started drinking I decided I would go check my mail. I normally never got anything besides bills and stupid shit like that but sometimes my mom would send me letters. She started doing this recently since I haven't been answering her phone calls. I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to talk to anyone. No one except Grey that is.

I sifted through my mail which contained mostly junk and I was about to just throw it all out when I saw it. A small white envelope. I picked it up and looked at it. I was surprised when I saw Daniel's name and address on it. Why would he write me a letter? If he wanted to talk to me he would just call me. I tear open the letter suddenly needing to read it. When I do I stop immediately as I recognize the small delicate hand writing. It's Grey's. I take a deep steadying breath and then I begin reading.

Dear Hunter,

I have so much I need to say to you. So many things that I left unsaid. I'm using this letter as an opportunity to say all those things to you. When Jason died I realized there were so many things I would never get to tell him and I don't want the same for us and with you I still have a chance to say them. I'll start off by saying how angry I am that you left without a word. When Daniel told me I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I couldn't believe it. But then I saw your empty apartment and it was like you had never been there. Like you never existed. Like what happened between us never happened at all. It was heartbreaking. I'm letting go of that anger though. I don't need it. You left for reasons which were obviously important to you and I hope that wherever you are that you're doing okay. I hope you're happy. You deserve to be. I want to say thank you. Thank you for everything you did for me. I know you don't feel the same way about our time together but you did so much for me. You healed me in ways I never thought possible. After I lost Jason I always thought I'd be broken, damaged and unlovable. But then I met you and you made me feel strong and beautiful. You made me feel alive again. You made me want to live again. Ever since I lost Jason I had just been merely surviving but I wasn't living. You helped me learn how to again. I'll never be able to truly thank you for that. You also made me fall in love again, something I never thought to be possible after I had I lost him. But once again you showed me it was possible. You made me feel safe and protected when I was with you. You also made me so unbelievably happy. Thank you so much for that. I still love you even after everything that has happened. I suppose that I always will. I'll always remember you and think fondly of the time we had together. I'll miss you.

Love always,

Grey

By the time I'm done reading the letter I'm crying. God was she incredible. Even after everything I put her though she's still standing. She's still strong. And most importantly she still loves me. She doesn't hate me like I thought she did. Suddenly as I looked around my apartment I thought what the fuck am I doing here? I got up and turned on my lap top and began to look up bus times. I needed to get to her. I needed to tell her I love her and I would spend the rest of my life making this up to her. I was such an idiot. When you find a girl like Grey you don't let her go. Like she said when you find love you fight for it and hold on tight to it. It was about time I started fighting for her. I'm coming for you Grey. I'm coming.