the book tour

♥︎ 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑦 𝑜𝑛𝑒

°˖✧✿✧˖° lia °˖✧✿✧˖°

We got back to the hotel and I hugged Addie and Blair goodnight before taking Kennedy's hand. She'd been really grumpy and rude in the car back and I was so upset with her. She'd come out of her headspace and ripped her hand from mine.
"When we get to the room, I want you to get your pjs and get in the shower," I told her. 
"I was already going to do that," she told me, going to open the door. However, it didn't move because she didn't have the key. I sighed and put the card on the door and it unlocked, she headed straight in and straight to her suitcase. She grabbed her own clothes and went to the bathroom, not even looking in my direction. I sighed and flopped on the bed- ridiculously confused about what to do. 

Whilst she was in the shower, I got everything cleaned up and got myself ready for bed. She came out with a towel around her head and a sad little expression o her face. Maybe it had calmed her down. 
"Mama?" she mumbled when seeing me. 
"Yes love?" I asked, putting away my laptop. 
"I sowwy," she whispered, lowering her head. 
"Come here," I tapped the bed beside me and she crawled up it, settling at my side. "I'm not going to make you tell me what's happened sweetheart but I want you to know that I can help," I said softly. I took her hand in mine and she sighed. "I want to be here for you and help and not have to experience silly breakdowns like that, hm?" 
"I'm super sowwy," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. 
"I know you are darling and you're forgiven now. Thank you for apologising," I whispered, opening my arms. She whimpered but cuddled into my side. "I love you so much." I told her, holding her as close as I could get her. 
"I woves woo mama," she replied. 

°˖✧✿✧˖° kennedy °˖✧✿✧˖°

I  couldn't sleep. I couldn't turn off my brain at all. There were so many thoughts going through my mind and my eyes kept leaking! I couldn't stop crying. I felt so overwhelmed with emotion that I wanted to scream. Lia was fast asleep next to me and I didn't want to wake her but at the same time, I felt so crap. I just had so many memories of everything. Happy ones which my mind turned instantly sad. I wanted to talk to Annie but I didn't want to bother her, she had enough of her own stuff going on right now. I rolled over, away from my girlfriend and held the monkey close to me. Monkey was one of my bestest friends. Talking of best friends, I felt really bad for what I had said to Blair. Unbelievably guilty. Yeah, she was noisy and yeah she spoke a lot but that was how she expressed herself and I'd just blown out her fire completely. I really wanted to go and apologise. I needed to now or else I couldn't sleep. 

I quietly got out of bed and slid my slippers on and slid out of the door. Lia was still sound asleep when I quietly shut it behind me. I shuffled down the corridor a little to Addie and Blair's room and knocked on the door. I didn't know what time it was, I just wanted to apologise so I could sleep and because I felt bad obviously! It took a few more knocks until there was any movement and just as I went to knock again, the door opened. Addie was standing there with her dressing gown around her and she looked very tired. 
"Ken? What's up?" She asked, looking down the corridor. 
"I wanted to say I'm sorry," I mumbled, looking to the floor. It suddenly dawned on me how silly this was. 
"For what? Do you want to come in?" she asked, stepping away from the door but I shook my head, I'll go back to mama in a minute. 
"Is Blair awake so I can say sorry to her for earlier?" 
Addie sighed and shook her head. "She's sleeping right now love, you should be too. She's already forgiven you for yesterday sweet. Does your mama know you're here?" She was using her caregiver voice and it made me whimper. I shook my head. 
"Head back to bed sweetheart. We don't want Lia to worry about you, do you?" she whispered. I shook my head and sighed. 
"Goodnight," I whispered, walking away. 
"Goodnight love," she replied. I didn't look back, too worried she was angry at me. I'd woken her up in the middle of the night for nothing. I was so stupid. Getting back to my room, however, I realised I made a huge mistake. The key card was inside. I tried the door but obviously, it didn't open. 

Gingerly, I looked back up the corridor to see Addie standing at her door still, frowning. She sighed and nodded to her room. I hurried up the hallway and into her bedroom. I felt so guilty. 
"You can sleep here, I'll text Lia to let her know where you are," she said gently. I nodded and lowered my head. I wanted to cry. 
"I'm just going to the loo, go get in the empty bed sweetheart," Addie mumbled, kissing my head. I turned and walked over to it, starting to feel sick. Why was I this silly? I was never going to sleep now. I wanted to be in mama's arms, giving her a big cuddle and crying. I didn't want to sleep in an empty, cold bed on my own. Not when I was so sad. 

I must have fallen asleep eventually because I was woken up by Lia sitting on the edge of my bed. When I opened my eyes, she gave me a bright, relieved smile and I blushed. 
"You scared me when I woke up without you in the room," she said. I frowned, covering my face. I just wanted to burst into tears there and then. "Let's go back to our room, hm?" I only nodded, not trusting my voice. She could tell because immediately, I was lifted into her lap and then she stood up. I wrapped my legs around her hips tightly and hid my head in her neck, wanting to hide from everyone and everything. 
"We're leaving in an hour," Addie said. Lia replied. I felt so small and young and I didn't want to travel today. I didn't know where we were even going. I just wanted to sleep all day with mama. 

"Right little love, let's get you dressed," mama whispered, setting me down. I whimpered, not wanting to. "Comfy clothes though, don't worry angel. We're going to London today! Isn't that exciting?" I shook my head and frowned. It wasn't. Mama laughed a little and came over to me with a pull-up and one of her t-shirts and shorts. 
"It's meant to be a hot day today so you need to stay hydrated and cool," she said softly. I whimpered. Pull-ups were for babies. Mama lifted off my top and pulled down my pj shorts and revealed my wet pull-up. I blushed as she pulled that down too and wiped me clean. She slid the new pull-up my legs and then the shorts and socks and finally a sports bra and her t-shirt. It was a big, BIG t-shirt so it covered my shorts and no one could see my pull-up because I'm a baby who needs one. Once she had finished getting me dressed, she sat behind me and did my hair. Once that was done, I leaned into her, putting my head on her chest and she kissed my forehead. 
"I love you, little angel," she whispered, making me smile. I loved my mama too. "Do you want to nurse before we leave?" she asked. My eyes lit up and my tummy grumbled. I wanted to nurse! I scrambled closer to her and she giggled, making me blush. She laid me down on her arm and lifted up her top, revealing her breastfeeding bra. Mama's milk was the best milk.