the book tour

♥︎ 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑟

°˖✧✿✧˖° lia °˖✧✿✧˖°

Annie was staying with Kennedy and I at my place and I had no intentions of stopping her but I had to get back to work soon. I had my day and a half with Jade Thirlwall to write her book and do the official meetings and as much as I knew Kennedy would be excited to meet them, I was also very conscious of her mental state. She hasn't come out of her little headspace since I found out and that was hard. She wasn't her normal little self either, she was clingy, upset, crying, overstimulated- the lot. She just wasn't a happy chappy. Annie was struggling herself so she couldn't help too much. Although she kept her sister occupied when I needed it, she was finding it hard to play too much with her or interact with her which was upsetting Kennedy. It was a tough cycle. Addie was, however, coming over today for a meeting and I was nervous. 

"Addie will be here soon," I told Annie who was sitting at the dinner table. 
"Okay, I'll just stay out of the way," she said softly. I kissed the top of her head and then heard the cry of Kennedy. I sighed and looked at the baby monitor I had set up. Just as I was going, there was a knock at the door. I groaned loudly but Annie smiled. 
"I'll go get Ken. Is Blair here?" 
"I'm not sure, you'll hear her if she is," I told her. She nodded and slipped up the stairs and I went to the door. When I opened it, I saw Blair stood there, all on her own with a glum look on her face and rain hammering down. 
"Oh hi," I laughed and motioned for her to come in. 
"Mummy's coming," she told me, stepping into the house. Just then, I saw Addie running from the car with her bag on her head and straight into my house. I laughed and let them dry off. 
"Bloody rain in Scotland, I'll never get used to it," Addie grumbled. I laughed a little more. It was nice to see some other faces. 
"How you doing?" 
"Good! Come in, let's go sit at the table and I'll get you both a warm drink." They followed me through and I made a quiet Blair a hot chocolate and Addie and I a coffee. 

"Where Ken?" Blair asked me sweetly. 
"Upstairs with her sister," I replied, sipping my coffee. 
"How is she?" Addie asked. 
"Little," I sighed. I felt like I needed a break. I know it was a bad thing to admit but she'd been so small the last week that it was hard- all encompassing. 
"Is it hard when she so small?" Blair asked. 
"When she's small not usually but when she's sad and small it's very hard. There's nothing I can do to help. I can't bring her dad back," I whispered, looking into my cup. 
"No but you can be there for her," Addie said. 
"I can but sometimes I get tired." 
"I get that," Addie told me. "Have you told her about Jade yet?" 
"Not yet, I'm waiting for the right time, maybe bath time tonight," I replied. 
"I loveeee bath time," Blair giggled and I smiled at her. 
"Yeah?"
"Yeah! It my favwet, specially when mummy joins me," she blushed and I giggled. She was adorable. 

Bath time came around rather quick. Annie kept Ken upstairs whilst Addie and Blair were here and ironically, they watched Jade's show. Kennedy however, was feeling a little better. She'd eaten all of her dinner up which she hasn't done all week and she was giggling away at me. It was lovely to see. 

"So my little love," I teased, cupping some water and putting it down her back. "I have a really cool surprise for you." 
"I no wike pises," she said softly, turning around in the bath so she was facing me. 
"Well, that's why I'm telling you now. It's super cool news," I chuckled, holding her hands. 
"What it mama?" 
"You know your favourite show, Served?" She nodded. "Well Jade, from the show, contacted Addie a few months ago, interested in working with me to help her write a book-" I giggled. Instantly, her jaw dropped. 
"An you no twell me all this time?!!" She asked rising to her knees. I giggled and nodded. 
"Jade's invited us to their house next week!" I  chuckled. 
"Mama!" She shouted, all excited.
"Kennedy!" I teased, not able to hold back my laughter. 
"We go ann meet them allll?" 
"We're going to meet them all!" 
"Pewwie tooooo?" She was getting so excited now and I could see all the emotions light back up in her eyes and it made my heart swell- this was the baby girl I knew.
"Perrie too, obviously," I giggled and grabbed her waist. She gasped and clapped her hands all giddy and excited. 
"Mama dat de bestest news ever," she giggled. 
"I thought you'd like it now let's get your hair washed!" I chuckled. She instantly turned around and let me wash her hair, beginning to babble about how excited she was. I couldn't get the smile off my face because for the first time all week, my baby wasn't sad. 

"Mama we got mwake sure we pack alllll of my toys!" Kennedy cheered, running into my bedroom a few days later. 
"Sweetheart, Perrie has toys you can play with. You can take a few for the drive and that's it," I said. She instantly huffed and glared at me. "None of that, pick your favourite three which are easy to get out when we're travelling," I said, ticking off some stuff from my checklist. 
"Mamaaaa, why?" she huffed and slid to my feet. I sighed and kneeled down in front of her. 
"What if, when we went, you left your toys there because you took sooooo many you forgot one! You'd be so upset!" I told her softly. She sighed and nodded. "Good girl, go pack your bag for me!" I kissed her head and she scurried off to her little room which had her stuff in it. 

Later that night, we had all the bags at the door and I was going through my checklist again. Kennedy was in the living room with Annie and they were watching Served, not surprising me. However, looking at the bags, something felt wrong. I went over and began opening them, checking what was in them all and when I reached Kennedy's bag, I paused. 
She had packed it to the brim with all of her stuffies and toys, doing exactly what I told her not to do. I understood she was hurting and grieving but that didn't give her an excuse not to listen to me. I walked into the living room with my hands on my hips. 
"Little Miss Kennedy," I sighed. 
"'es mama?" 
"Did you pack as I told you to?"
She paused for a moment and turned away from me. "'Es I pack jus free toys an teddies wike woo said!" she told me. I raised one eyebrow, looking at her. 
"Really? Just the three?" 
"Mhmms, jus fwee," she nodded, still avoiding looking at me. I cleared my throat and sighed. 
"Is there a reason you're lying to me, little one?" She gulped and I went to crouch down in front of her. She tried not to look at me but I didn't really give her a choice. 
"Just three?" 
"I packed dem awll mama I sowwy!" She instantly admitted it and I nodded. 
"I know you did. What did mama say about doing that hm?" 
"Dat I wose dem," she sighed. 
"Exactly. Why did you lie to me when I first asked?" 
"Tus I wan twake dem awll!" She huffed. 
"But mama told you why you can't and you understood that, didn't you?" 
She sighed and nodded. "I sowwy I wied mama." 
"Thank you for apologising and thank you for telling me the truth eventually. Now, how about we go pick out the three toys and teddies together?" I suggested, standing up and holding out my hand. She took it and got off the couch, following me. 
"Good girl," I praised and kissed her head. She snuggled into me quickly and then got to work on picking her toys.