MIDNIGHT PLEASURE, spencer reid ✔

chapter four

TWO WEEKS passed faster than I could grasp the events around me. Physical training for agents in the field has begun; we have strength exercises three times a week and lectures on weapons handling on the days in between. I realized that shooting a gun brings out different emotions in me, like fear and excitement after hitting the target.

I do not know how to explain it myself, the different emotions just prevailed in me in different proportions. The psychology lectures became more and more interesting, eventually we got to the topic of dealing with the psyche of criminals. Different disorders, how they might affect their minds. Different childhood traumas that can develop into something bigger.

These things excited me, I was not afraid of these things, although there is a good chance I will be dealing with patients like this almost daily in the future. I suspect my opinion will change by then, because this is a very responsible job.

Profiling people has always been a skill I used as a teenager with rude girls from my school. Really unnecessary behavior towards people who are just different from you, like nerds. They ranked me there even though I was not in that league, but right below them, with enviable success in school.

In the last hour, I used profiling on Spencer, who seemed tired, kind of sad, and angry. Surely something is happening at work or in his personal life, but we have not gotten that far with the private affairs chapter.

Almost after every lecture we would go out for coffee. I realized that he drinks sugar with his coffee and that he will die from white sugar. I even told him that and he just laughed in offense. Our relationship was more friendly, although I sensed some tension in him. As if he could not relax completely, that's how it seemed to me. During the lecture and in the building where we are at a normal distance, everything seemed perfectly normal, but the moment we leave it, everything seems different. He seems different and I can't imagine what could happen if we just both relax.

I didn't mind the age difference, he seemed younger and behaved that way until the situation called for professionalism. He didn't look at me like some kid who doesn't know what he wants in life, he looked at me like I was someone like him. Even though our relationship demanded it, we just couldn't stick with it. We didn't even want to. Nothing happened between us.

I missed a couple of classes again because the exercises were held at the same time as psychology. After all, Spencer was happy to give me private lessons. I used to have the opportunity to hear about real criminals, who are currently being sought or who are awaiting their punishment.

The world is truly a sick place. I'm glad there are people trying to catch all these psychopaths.

I spent Friday evening in my apartment again, I had no intention of going out anywhere, I didn't feel like going to parties. Maria fired me for hanging out, I realize that she is not really my friend. Maybe it's better that way, I don't need such people in my life, which leads me to the fact that I currently only have books in my life that I haven't read.

And Spencer.

He was in Nevada with his team right now, it looks like it's a serious case. He usually leaves me a message to let me know what's going on or to check if everything is okay here. He cared about me.

I had nothing to do with studying, it was still early to start the final exam, we are only halfway through the lecture. Somehow, I'm more concerned that someone doesn't start a story for our conversations after class, that would result in my bad grades in the final. And many female colleagues stopped treating me politely, as if I was some kind of bigger competition than school competition.

The news that the new psychology professor was a handsome man in his late thirties spread far and wide, so over the next few hours many girls and boys came just to see who it was.