MIDNIGHT PLEASURE, spencer reid ✔

chapter eleven

MY WORDS RANG OUT in the half-empty living room. There were few items in the entire house, most likely because Spencer decided to take something from here to his apartment, as many things suited his style. When I said big words a few minutes ago, I should have stopped talking about furniture.

Spencer appeared surprised. He immediately moved out of my arms and sat down so he could watch me without looking me in the eyes. I should not have spoken such harsh words after he served me all of his trauma on a platter. "It's fine, Spence; you don't have to say anything, let's pretend I didn't say, ". I expressed my concern when I saw his sad reaction to my confession, I felt strange as well. It's clearly not the right time.

"The words had just left my mouth; it wasn't the right time... you told me everything, and I felt desperate; I wanted you to know I'm here with you and that we're not just a couple having sex like rabbits during mating season", my pulse quickens, and my body temperature falls. As the struggle for breath intensifies, I can feel my lungs contract significantly.

"Ally, please breathe properly," he says, looking worriedly at me and the way I'm struggling to catch my breath. He has his hands on my shoulders, trying to calm me down. I'm not usually this emotional, and these panic attacks are rare. I felt as if a piece of myself died today, which made me very sad.

"My love, you're almost there with normalizing your breathing; can you feel the air filling your lungs to the brim? That's how it should always be; don't be concerned with half-breathing; I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." his words appeared to be very sweet. Now I know why I put the word on L.

I truly believed this because of these things and because of the way he looks after me and solves my problems with me.

"I'm sorry if my story was too much for you; I just wanted to show you the ugly side of life. People frequently believe that I live a perfect life, free of problems; it's just that they never get to the part where my shell cracks and all the screams of the past escape." , as he says this, he holds me in his arms. His voice returns to normal as our hearts beat in unison. I feel his warm lips on my forehead and he kisses me repeatedly, with long pauses between kisses.

He made me feel loved.

We both used the remaining half hour before departure to clear our heads after such an intimate or rather emotional moment. It was just a burden in my mind that came with heavy overtinking, at least that's what it meant to Spencer. He is not the only one who has sad stories, harsh truths, or experiences that compelled him to change.

I had them as well, but mine couldn't compete with his. I'm thankful for that because I lack the mental fortitude to battle all of the demons around me. He made ends meet and got through everything on his own terms. That makes me so proud of him.

"Do you want to hear my brutal truth?" I asked him during the packing process, as we had to get a lot of things out of the car in a short amount of time. We miscalculated the forecast, so we had to change our clothes once more.

"Did you know that just because I did it doesn't mean you have to talk about your traumas?" he asked, still concerned, which made me want to cry again. "I want to tell you because I haven't told anyone about my past in the last couple of years," I explain a little more politely.

"I turned into an ear, Ally, tell me, I will always be there to listen to you," he turned completely to me for a moment, put everything he was holding in his hands in a bag, and sat back on the corner sofa.

"This sounds like a cliche, and I always get angry when someone says it in an argument or with the intent of insulting me, but I have issues with my father. When I was two weeks old, my biological father abandoned my mother, older brother, and me. He decided that the family does not fulfill him, and so he left us, leaving behind all of his things" , I made pause when the anger in me begins to build up, it's not time for me to be furious and scream with rage because of him.