Architect and Mrs Dantata

01: AMAL

October, 2014

Abuja, Nigeria

There's blood on my dress, especially on the sleeves.

It should irritate me but I think I'm in too much of a shock. I guess that's expected when you watch a close family member nearly bleed to death and as a non-medical personnel you have to step in because the doctors and nurses need all the hands they can get to keep her alive.

Sadiyah was excited to meet her baby about four hours ago. I had gone to see her, wanting to caress her bump one last time before leaving for school. On my way out, her water broke and since there was no one else home, I was the one to make the phone calls and rush her to the hospital. It should have been easy; pushing the baby out should have been easy for her but it wasn't. Once the baby boy was out, the blood followed. Never in my life have I seen so much blood.

I hope I never see it again.

Haemorrhage. That was what they called it. Luckily, it didn't kill her but she's still in critical condition so they have to watch her overnight. If she survives tonight, then she'll be fine. I don't want to think about what would happen if she doesn't. She will survive tonight. She has to.

Familiar footsteps reach my ears but I don't raise my head, choosing to stare at my hands and my blood stained sleeves instead. A moment later, familiar boots come into my line of sight and the man in front of me squats.

"Amal."

Deep voice; soothing and calm. Exactly like Baba's. Like Mama, I can't understand how two people can be so similar, as though they were twins who waited years to be bonded with each other.

"Amal, please look at me."

I'm not sure I want to do as he's asking but then again, it won't do me much good to keep him squatting. He has had a long day.

"Amal, look at me...Please."

I draw in a shaky breath and raise my head. His eyes are grey; dark grey and they always make me feel like I'm drowning. Mama said the last person with those eyes was my great-great grandmother who had British blood courtesy of her mother, my great-great-great grandmother. His usual impassive mask is gone and in its place in worry. Worry that's aimed at me.

He would always remind me of Baba and that alone is warmth in itself. Baba's a champion and I'm so glad both of us have him. I'm glad we have Mama too.

I try to smile but since there's no mirror, I'm not sure I succeed. "Hi, Mahmud."

Mahmud stares back at me the way he always does. There's four years between us but in moments like this, it feels like there's more. Not like I would mind. Having him as an older brother is the best thing I could ever ask for.

With a sigh, he takes my hand in his and I have no idea how he's always so stable squatting. The times I tried to squat with him, I know how much my muscles complained. He always laughed and I am certainly proud of the fact that I'm one of the only people who get to him laugh often. Everyone else sees it as a rarity.

He gives my hand a gentle squeeze. "Mama and Baba are here. They're checking in on Kawu Imran. He's with the baby. I've told them I'll be here with you so when they finish checking in on them, they'll check on Sadiyah and then meet us here."

Tears blur my vision almost immediately and I blink them back. "Mahmud, Sadiyah is going to make it, right?"

He nods without hesitation, a small smile on his face. "She will In Shaa Allah. She's a strong woman, Amal. She's going to make it."

"Do you think I should tell Mama and Baba I want to postpone my flight? I want to be sure that she's fine before I –"

He cuts me off. "You know Sadiyah won't like that, right?"

I want to argue. "Mahmud –"

"What if this happened when you weren't around? Will you currently be on the first flight from Stanford?"

I clamp my mouth shut. He knows the answer and so do I. He takes my other hand in his other one and he speaks calmly. "You've already pushed back this flight thrice, Amal. Don't do it again. We won't want that and Sadiyah won't want it too. Kawu Imran will personally drag you to the airport if you try it. Have faith that Sadiyah would be fine. At least you'll still be here until tomorrow evening so you can check in on her before you go."

"Will you come with me?"

His smile widens and it warms my heart. He nods. "Of course, Amal. If I have to skip class just to be with you, I will. Don't tell Mama I said this but residency in this hospital is a pain in my neck. It's so frustrating."

That makes me laugh and his smile widens even further. When I smile, it isn't forced. "Thank you, Mahmud."

"You're welcome." He lets go of my hands and rises to his feet. "Come on, we need to get you home and changed. Blood doesn't look good on you."

I hold my hands out and he helps me to my feet. When I ask that we see Sadiyah before we leave, he nods and says okay. Mama and Baba are in the room and they both hug me tightly before letting go. Sadiyah stays unconscious, surrounded by machines that beep steadily. I take her hand in mine and squeeze gently.

"Wake up soon, Sadiyah." I tell her. "Please survive this."

She doesn't reply the way I expect her to. Once again I'm moved to tears. I do kiss her forehead and pray to Allah that she lives through this. Five minutes later, Mahmud and I are leaving. Mama and Baba promise to catch up.

As we make our way towards the main doors of the hospital, I come to a decision; one that I am going to keep from everyone else so they don't deter me. I remove all dreams of kids from my future.

I'm never going to go through what Sadiyah went through today. I'm never going to put those I love in this much pain.