Architect and Mrs Dantata

45: AMAL

Athena is somewhat busy today and it brings a smile to my face. Hassan, who Zayd blackmailed into managing the restaurant on his behalf as a side business and also assisting Mas'ood, is on ground. He tells me the others are up in the lounge.

My friends and I honestly have a bias for the lounge. I can't understand it, no matter how hard I try to.

They're seated in what has become our usual booth and they're all smiles as I make my way over. I smile back and slide into the empty seat beside Hussayna. "I'm late, right?"

"You might not believe it," Catherine says, "but we just got here too. We've been sitting for an exact minute."

Jameelah nods. "True."

I just smile and take in every one of them, taking more time on Asma. She's in a boubou which no doubt is hiding her baby bump from me and everyone else. I push away the twinge of sadness and focus on being a good friend.

"How's baby Shehu, Asma?"

She gives me a small smile, raising one shoulder in a half-shrug. "Not as calm as I would like, but Alhamdulillah."

"You're really not telling us the gender until the baby shower?"

She grins wickedly. "Of course. If I tell you now, I'll ruin the fun."

I eye her. "Witch."

She laughs. "I love you too, Amal."

I turn to Catherine and ask how she is. She dramatically rolls her eyes. "Sunday, Abel and Abeila want to kill me, but it's nothing new. How are you, Amal?"

"We'll come back to that in a bit." I turn to Jameelah. "You fah, Jameelah? How are you?"

She sighs. "I'm swamped with work. You'd be surprised how this your husband's restaurant has made me a busy woman. There are so many contracts."

Catherine playfully slaps her arm. "Rest jor! As if you're not the same woman that'll enjoy the money. To make millions na beans?"

We all laugh while Jameelah chuckles, shaking her head. "Leave me alone."

I turn to Hussayna who kept her promise of holding my hand. She's my age mate which makes the both of us the youngest in the group. "How are you, Hussayna?"

"Drained." She smiles and I catch a glimpse of the tiredness she's trying to hide. "Like you, I came with some baggage to offload today. It's not been the easiest period for me."

I feel bad for her and all I can bring myself to do is pat the back of the hand that's holding my other one. I give her a small smile. "It'll be okay In Shaa Allah."

"So, Amal," It's Jameelah. I turn to her. "How are you?"

I think of the hundred ways to answer that question. There's a lot to say and there are so many areas I can start with. After deliberating, I decide to go with "I don't think Zayd and I are doing fine right now. Despite what you all will try to say to change my mind, I know this is my fault."

Catherine speaks after a moment. "Go ahead, Amal. We're listening."

I bare myself to them, telling them how hard it's been since the last miscarriage and the aftermath of the one decision I regret more than anything. I tell them about how it's been with Zayd and how yesterday was the explosion of a bomb that had been ticking for a long time. I tell them about how Zayd wants us to be realistic but I don't think I want to be so yet. I tell them all of it.

"I get that he has a point," I tell them. "But it's not that easy. It's hard."

Hussayna gently squeezes my hand. "Oh Amal..."