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Jazmine:

There is a gross misunderstanding I have to clarify before it's too late. Well, it's already late. Adrian and I are never going to be together. Not in this generation. Even though I pretended that I made a mistake by sleeping with him, I found it lucky that my first was Adrian. I brought panties with me, the ones he wanted to gift me, and kept them in the chest, in which I stored all the memories of his. I have all his pictures. From his seventeenth to now.

"Jazmine!" Jacob voiced from beside me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I stared at his hand and immediately he pulled mumbling, "Sorry! But what happened to you? Since I picked you up from your place and showed you the resort location, you seemed to be disturbed."

"I am quite exhausted," partly it was true because of the increase in the intensity of pain in my abdomen. I started receiving pain in my lower abdomen in the morning or since I left Adrian's place. I apprehended it to be because of monthlies.

"Can we drink coffee, in the meantime, you can go through the contract?"

Firstly I wanted to cancel today's meeting with Jacob but same time I didn't want my personal life to influence my professional. So, I encouraged and motivated myself to travel to New Havens with him. And secondly, I wanted to meet my father and confront him tonight at any condition, or else, my nights will go sleepless and days senseless. So, I decided to go to New Jersey after the meeting. That's why I asked him to come early so that I can finish my meeting and travel to NJ.

"I will read the contract in my home and then we can meet tomorrow to discuss it!" I put in a proposition.

"I find it great too," he replied, appearing convenient with it.

I stayed silent when we drove back to New York. But my head was occupied with only the image of Adrian holding a cigarette on his balcony. Though I was expecting no future with him, that began to bother me.

If it was not Adrian and a random man, I would have ignored it. But eventually, it's the man I love. When my father was diagnosed with alcohol liver cirrhosis, I was dead fifty percent. And I know he is not going to live for a long time and I prepared my mind for it.

Now knowing Adrian is a smoker I apprehended all the consequences a smoker has. I can't just tell him how much I love him and how much his life values me. I don't know with what lung disease he will be diagnosed. I can't explain to him that if he is diagnosed with an untreatable disease like my father, I will be nothing but a lifeless person for the rest of my life. It's sure that I will not date or marry any man if it's not Adrian.

I have no guts to face him and I really wish that blank check truth was the same as what my father said to me. But since I started trusting Adrian and saw the confidence in his eyes that his intentions were not to buy me, a doubt initiated in my head against my father.

***

I reached New Jersey at eight in the night and stood in front of Uncle Kush's restaurant. Red Chillies restaurant. Besides that, my health worsened to eighty percent. My thighs and back turned heavy. So heavy that every step was so painful. Jacob wanted to offer me a ride to NJ when I asked him to drop me at NY's subway. But I denied it as I didn't want to take any favor from him.

I stepped inside the restaurant and Amrit encountered me.

"Jazmine, what a pleasant surprise," he expressed with a big smile. I tried to smile back at him. Even a smile took some energy to form on my lips.

"Where is Uncle Kush and my dad?" I spoke barely as a whisper.

He led my way to the kitchen.

I saw my dad chopping veggies while Uncle Kush was stirring curry in the pan. Uncle Kush glanced at me and a bright smile took over his face. But when he gave me once over his countenance dropped to anxious one.

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