Fix You ! Cegan

XXI

He didn't immediately open his eye, he just sat there taking inventory of how he felt. And he felt like the equivalent to what it must be like being hit by a truck. Now, of course that was the one injury he hadn't sustained to his knowledge yet, but he supposed it wasn't outside of the realm of possibilities. He had had a terrible feeling all day that he was dying. He didn't know why, and it was nothing he had ever felt before. It was just an indescribable sense of dread that something horrible was going to happen.

He stirred, and when he finally did open his eye he only saw his dad. He was in the house, and had no idea how he had gotten there.

"Hey, Carl. Hey just lie still, okay?"

How many times had he woken up to his dad beside him now while he was nursing some grievous injury? This had to be some kind of world record, right?

"Wha.." Everything was fuzzy. He sighed, trying to make sense of everything. "Did I fall down the fuckin' stairs again?"

He registered a pained chuckle coming from his dad. "No, nothin' like that. Just relax, okay?"

He tried to. Suddenly wave over wave of what had just happened washed over him. Well. Fuck. He was in deep shit. He almost sprung out of bed but he realized suddenly how disoriented he felt. He met his dads eyes, and all he saw was true concern in them.

"Dad- dad shit, 'm sorry. I really, really fucked up." And he really meant it. He was so confused. Everything hurt. Nothing was making sense. But he knew he had to have his dad in that moment, something he hadn't felt in a long time. But he wasn't even sure how Rick was even looking at him after everything that just happened. "Hey, no. Don't. You don't have anything to be sorry about, okay?"

"No, I do, I-""Shh. Just relax, okay?" Carl let his head thump down on the couch again, realizing how heavy it felt. He tried to lay there quietly, but so many questions were running through his brain.

"Why did I pass out?"

"You, uh....You had a seizure."
"Shit. Seriously?"

Rick nodded solemnly. "I uh. I just need to grab you some water, okay? Don't move." Rick did need to grab water but he also had to get Negan the fuck out of here without Carl seeing him. He had no idea what Carl remembered, and didn't, but it seemed like most of his memory from everything was intact (kind of unfortunately).

He suddenly felt Carls hand on his arm, something he hadn't been expecting. Carl literally never reached out to him. Never.
"Dad?"Rick whipped around so fast he almost got whiplash. "Yeah?" He asked him quietly.

"I...-" Carl shook his head. Everything was so fuzzy. Like so many times he felt like he was drowning. He wanted his mom. But, well, he'd shot her, so his dad would have to do. "I just, I don't feel great right now and I just- can you stay? I-"
"Yeah, I'm gonna be right here. Don't worry."

Carl relaxed and nodded, almost embarrassed for reaching out to him like that. Right now, he just knew he didn't want to be alone. Rick stayed with him, nervously fidgeting. Carl suddenly didn't feel comforted at all. Rick let go of his hand and started to walk away.

"Just water, okay? I'll be back in one second. Promise."

"Kay."

He heard his dad go to the other room, and then Negans voice floating through the hall. He couldn't quite understand what they were saying, just that of course his dad had run off to talk with Negan. The man who had almost just killed him. And just like that Carl was pissed. He could count on one hadn't the amount of times he had showed any kind of vulnerability to his dad over the past few years, and the second he did Rick had run off to chat with Negan.