THESE HIDDEN WINGS

[134] ROCK BOTTOM

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"She's the only one I built better than the original,"

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YOU KNOW THOSE days when you feel numb and simply not alive?

It is the sudden perception of realizing there is more to life than waking up feeling this way.

That was how I woke up on Tuesday morning.

I wasn't surprised to see that I was alone in my room tonight, but this time I knew where Daya was.

She had got in pretty late last night and got up an hour earlier than I had, because of the training she and the originals had with the firewall recruits.

I felt low as I trudged down the buzzing hallways with David.

Right after breakfast, Claire had to go to training, so David and I were the only ones who had to deal with morning classes.

He was more joyful than I expected, for someone who had a newly reinstated Roman for a roommate, but when he joyfully explained that he basically spent the whole night alone because Roman had to train, and would do so for the rest of the week till Friday, I understood why he was happy.

I managed to crack a half-smile at this.

When we finally parted ways I waved him goodbye, watching as he headed down the hallways disappearing in the bussing wave of students for a moment.

My fists tightly clenched my bag straps for a second before sighing, the fake smile I had plastered on dwindling at that moment, feeling a weight crash on my shoulders.

Something I had struggled to get rid of ever since yesterday, and that feeling of inadequacy that had been stored within me.

I yearned for the simple life I had been so ungrateful for before.

Most people would think Palace life was hectic and annoying and whilst it had its moments, my life had mainly been in the palace walls, either being tutored or in my garden or the well-stocked library.

It had only been earlier this year that Dad took me on one of his business trips. Most of the time I was at home, indoors, and even when we traveled, I would remain within the walls of the hotel in most cases.

Yep, back then life was so much easier, and the only feelings I had to deal with were the natural ones. Not this rotten derailing feeling that seemed to be eating me up more than my lack of confidence ever did.

I turned slightly, head low as I walked past students who were supposed to be making their way to class but decided to lounge about until the very last second it seemed.

A bad habit in itself.

If ever Zali had caught wind that I had intentionally done such a thing I would be given a full-on lecture about accountability, something I did not desire to sit for two straight hours.

They were so lucky they didn't have Zali just about now.

Huffing at the thought, I reached my class, walking in, and stopping abruptly when I spotted my classmates.

Some students sat half-turned in their seats facing each other, talking and giggling amongst themselves.

The bookworms of morning classes had already taken out their notebooks in preference for Science, the first normal subject of the day, and someone was rubbing the board out.

My eyes lingered on my empty seat by the window, staring at it from the front of the class still locked in position.

All of it felt so plain and repetitive.