young lies

chapter nineteen - back in the past

TW: mentions of ed and calorie counting

after much debate the first stop the trio decided to take is a trip to the store helping the homeless which was someplace the group used to always frequent.

bex pulls the door open, allowing riley and nick to step into the boutique first.

"oh, my gosh." riley grins as her eyes move about the room. "i miss coming here with y'all and trying on weird outfits."

"and never buying anything." nick adds causing the three to break out into laughter. however, they quiet upon the glare their being sent from the lady at the register.

"but today might be the day." riley says slowly. she grabs a ugly blue button up and holds it to bex's chest who fails to hide her visible grimace before she pushes it away. nick and riley give the lady one last awkward smile before finally releasing their giggles.

when the cashier looks away riley is quick to re-rack the clothing item before turning to the two other girls with a genuine smile which they both reciprocate.

"i've really missed you." nick admits, leaning forward slightly with emphasis.

bexley nods in agreement, looking to riley and biting the inside of her check. "it's been so hard without you." she sighs.

riley looks to bex with a woeful expression. she was one of the few who knows about bex's deep struggles, and was there to help while she was going through them. she makes a mental note to ask about it later as she knows it's not the time nor the place to discuss such a heavy topic- especially when she has another thing plaguing her mind

"i've missed you too." she says, a small frown itched onto her face. "so what happened then? y'all kind of ghosted me."

bex knew it was coming, but the sharp stab in her gut was something she couldn't have prepared for.

the decision to ghost riley was one the two girls came to after many months and many wide-eyed nights. neither girl wanted to do so, but they had to in order for their plan to work. riley knew to much and always spoke her mind; she was an impediment in their plan that they had to get rid of. so, with melancholy hearts, they forced themselves to no longer answer to her calls or texts.

bexley recalls the days when riley would leave them voicemails, her voice breaking as she repeatedly asks what she had done wrong. the way nick had sobbed into bex's shoulder after the fact. she remembers the texts she was sent where riley wrote paragraphs of apologies she didn't need to give. the memory of bexley sitting against the wall bawling after receiving one of these texts. the way nick had to sit there, tears in her own eyes, as she had to watch bex to make sure she didn't do anything.

the pain all feels fresh and bex feels her shoulders and chest tighten in anxiety. she can feel the regret rolling off of nick too as her shame filled voice rises.

"we are so sorry." nick answers for the both of them, knowing bex probably couldn't do so herself. additionally, feeling the need for more explanation, she continues. "it's just, after my dad got arrested, we went though a really hard time. i guess, i just wanted to disappear."

knowing she had to give an answer to, bexley forces her voice up. "when tony left, i couldn't really, function anymore?" she says softly, not sure the right words to use. "it sounds silly i guess, but after loosing my whole family and then tony too... i felt so...empty." she hesitates, not good at communicating her feelings. "i pushed everyone away because i just, i couldn't go through that again." bex looks down, feeling uncomfortable sharing so many emotions at once.