Sanity

Chapter Four: Comprehension

I was cold and didn't quite understand where I was. My eye lids were sticky, and I had a difficult time opening them. When I finally did, I was greeted by a familiar scene. I was in a hospital. The walls and floor a sterile white and cords and IVs once more plagued my body.

"Good you're awake. Mrs. Darrens, you had a panic attack your family will be back shortly. You are perfectly fine to go as soon as you feel up to it."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome Mrs. Darrens" He nodded and left.

As soon as he shut the door, I thought of something 'Mrs. Darrens' why did he call me that. Had I hallucinated again or was that real. My eyes were groggy, but I recognized my parents the moment they walked in the room.

"Oh honey, are you alright? Sorry it took us so long. The drive was very long, but Brett was nice enough to come get us." My mother smiled in a loving way.

"He is such a well-rounded gentleman. Why didn't you introduce him to us before?" My father looked so proud.

"I can't wait to meet his mother; she sounds so wonderful." My mother added before I could answer.

"Oh darling you must be exhausted. Rest a while."

Still confused, I closed my eyes and quickly drifted back to sleep. When I woke up again, I was in a much smaller room. My parents were gone, but Brett was sitting by my side holding my hand. As soon as I stirred, he let out a huge sigh of relief.

"You scared me." He said kissing my hand.

"Where did my parents go?"

"Your parents? Sam, do you remember what happened? We left your home. Your parents don't know where you are. You're in the pack hospital. You must have been dreaming."

"Oh I guess." I nodded sadly.

"It's okay." He said softly as he pulled me into him. I buried my head into his chest and began to sob. I never cried, and I hated that Brett saw me this weak, but at the same time I felt safe in his arms. He didn't judge my tears and didn't exploit my vulnerability. "You will always be safe with me, and I know someday you will be happy with me as well." We sat there as he held me for a long time before he picked me up bridal style and carried me to his car.
He drove the short distance to his house and then carried me inside and up stairs to the bedroom laying me down in the bed and covering me up before taking off his denim jeans and climbing into bed next to me, nestling in close to me. Unlike before when he touched me, I felt no sexual tension just safe in his presences.

***

The next morning I woke before Brett. I stared at his face partially covered by stubble which made him even more attractive. His light brown hair was victim of bedhead. He looked harmless as though he wouldn't hurt a fly, but I knew the wolf in him was vicious and easy to anger. His wolf wasn't all ruthless though, I had seen it overwhelm him with passion and inflict him with such a need to protect and defend. His wolf wasn't bad but passionate and loyal. His wolf was easily touched, but Brett himself never lost control. I didn't quite understand how deep the two personalities mingled, but they were both strong, and that made him a good leader.
When he finally opened his eyes, he immediately smiled with the sight of my face. He stretched his arms, yawning.

"Good morning." He said smiling. "How did you sleep?"

"Surprisingly well." I admitted.

"I'm glade."

In that instance it was back. With the slight change in tone, he had me at his mercy. He sniffed, smiling, obviously pleased by my attraction toward him. I looked away moving to exit the bed. As I pulled the covers away, he grabbed my arm, pulling me back. Inches away from his face, he starred into my eyes. I couldn't breathe his grip tight on my arm. Suddenly a knock came at the door, and the moment where his wolf controlled him was gone again.
He rushed out of bed grabbing his jeans and stumbling into them as he walked to the door. I heard his steps on the stairs as he ran to the entry way. I heard a woman's voice but couldn't make out what she was saying. Suddenly steps again sounded up the stairs. A young woman burst into the room, a huge grin on her voice. I was suddenly, extremely embarrassed to be found in Brett's bed.
"OH MY GOD!" She squealed. "I'm so, so happy to meet you. I'm Rachel, Brett's sister."

"Hello. I'm Sammy, nice to meet you too." I said awkwardly as I clenched the covers in my hand."

"You'll love it here. I promise."

"Okay sis. Take it easy she is still adjusting." Brett spoke up smiling in my direction.

He hurried her out, walking her back to the front door before returning to the bedroom. He run and jumped back in bed making us both laugh. I loved these moments when we were like old friends laughing and carrying on about something stupid.

"Sam?"

"Yeah, Brett."

"Am I a good person to you? I know my wolf has its moments, but I'm not pushing you too far am I?" His face told that he was worried.

"Sometimes it makes me a little scared. I feel like I'm in the middle of a waiting game. Waiting for when your wolf will win." I looked down ashamed and knowing that was the last thing he wanted to hear come from my mouth.

He moved closer putting his hand on my chin and directing my gaze to his. Sadness plagued his normally confident face as he paused for a moment contemplating his words. "Sam, I would never ever hurt you. I am really attracted to you and that scent you give off drives me crazy, but I would never force you to mate me. I'd never forgive myself." He looked down removing his hands and distancing himself from me, he got up leaving me sitting in bed alone.
As I sat there a deep aching invaded my stomach and tears built in my eyes. I wanted so bad to change the way Brett made me feel, but I couldn't. Part of me wanted to race after him and take back everything I had said, yet the other have urged me to run wail I had the chance. Brett could make me feel so safe and the next moment, be the sole purpose of my fear.
After sitting there, I finally decided that running away was pointless. Brett wasn't just you're average guy. He was the alpha of what seemed to be a pretty powerful pack that could sniff me out no matter where I went. My only option was making the best of my new life, and that was what I was going to do. I stood up and wiped the tears from my face.
When I found Brett, he was sitting at a desk in a room off the main living area. There were papers everywhere and filing cabinets lining the walls. He looked up smiling at me ever so slightly, sadness still in his eyes.

"Brett, can we talk?"

"Of course. Come in."

"I wanted to apologize." I started.

"You don't need to. I'm the one that needs to control myself." He looked down.

"No, I think it's more of the thought that you.... that you... I don't know what you are capable of. The whole werewolf thing, I don't know much about it. I don't even know what making me your mate actually involves."

"I guess that makes sense. I guess it's got to be pretty weird to you."

"Yeah." I looked away feeling stupid and naive.

"Come here. Please." He looked concerned and wiry of his own question, undoubtedly not wanting to make me uncomfortable.

"Okay." I said moving toward him as he extended his hand. I took it sitting on the desk top in front of him.

"Samantha, I want you to be comfortable please don't be embarrassed about natural things, because if you are this conversation is going to make you uneasy."

"I'll try."

"A mate is a lifelong partner, similar to a human marriage. Which we will get legally married, but it's just a piece of paper. When we mate our scents mingle together, any wolf who meets you will know you are mine and I am yours. This is done with a biting ritual which will turn you as well. Instantly you will have werewolf scenes and the feelings that follow will be very concentrated. We will mate in that heightened state. Our connection will be deep. In that moment we will open a connection in our mind which we will be able to tap into as long as we both live. There will be no human doubt that we belong together after that."

"Why did you pick me."

"When a werewolf meets their mate they know, and there is only one mate for every wolf. The instance I saw you walking on the side of the road, I knew it was you. It killed me to leave you at that hospital."

"Everyone told me a guy from my class had found me."

"Well, that is what they thought. A werewolf alpha can be very convincing. That is how I got you to get in my car. It is how I got you to go out with me. It is how I got you to follow me into the woods without fear."

"I guess that makes things a bit clearer."

"Are you mad?"

"I guess not. If something went off in my head when I found the one I would have done the same thing, but could you be wrong? I mean the feeling?"

"No. It never has been. Ever."

I took a deep breath realizing he was serious. He believed I was his one and only, and I looked at him like he was a monster. How must that have felt to him? I reached forward and raped my arms around him, "I'm sorry." I whispered into his ear. He pulled my onto his lap as he held me, we sat in silence.