Sanity

Chapter Nine: Retribution

My head was spinning. I wanted to help in some way, but I was frozen. I couldn't think of anything other than the scene of Brett running over to Morris on the ground bleeding. How did this happen? Who would do this? Suddenly Brett busted in the doors followed by three pack warriors with a wolf restrained in toe. I recognized him. He was one on Nathanial's warriors and everything became clear.
Brett came over to us. He hugged me quickly before he spoke, "We've been attacked by Elaine's warriors. This man killed Morris." Brett's eyes sank. "He will be held accountable for this as will Elaine and Nathanial. They have just declared war pone our pack. They will no longer be a loud to use their pack to threaten us. We are taking the East Territory by force." A cheer erupted, and for the first time I realized the room was full.

"Spread the word to prepare for war. You all know your duties." The room emptied as they went their separate ways.

"Samantha."

"Yes, Alpha." I addressed him formally in front of our enemy.

"Rally the woman and children in the school, mother will instruct them from there. Be safe." He said kissing me lightly.

"I will." I nodded to him and left to do as he told with the help of my escorts.

We filled the school with every woman and child in the territory. The children were all filed in to their normal classrooms. Every child under four was put in with the middle school students and their teachers. All the woman then gathered in the gym and began to organize.

"Ladies, please quiet down." Kathrine spoke with authority. "Thank you. Now we must do all we can to help with preparations. One third of the warriors will be staying behind to hold the territory grounds, but all of the rest will be leaving for the east territory at first light. It is safer for us to be together so that our forces are not spread thin. The woman will occupy the gym, the children the classrooms with their teachers, and the warriors will sleep in the auditorium on shift changes. We will all take turns helping with the kitchen and cleaning crews. When we are not working on that, we will be doing repairs and the normal business chores. Alpha Female would you like to add anything?"

"Yes, thank you." I took a deep breath. This was my chance to help. "I may be new to this pack and new as your Alpha Female, but I know this pack, and I know our strength. I have seen Nathanial and his top warriors, and I have no doubt that with our show of force they will fall quickly. This will not be for long. Be strong for our men. Be strong for our pack because we need to be an example to those that will soon be joining us. This is a new adventure for us all, and in order for us to succeed after this is over, we need to be stronger as a unit than ever. I believe in this pack, show me that my belief is not wasted." The woman cheered, and I knew I had done well.

Brett then peaked out from behind the door way, and the ladies hushed. "I was going to speak with you, but my mate has done a better job than I could ever have done." He smiled at me, and I smiled back nodding a thank you for his compliment. "Okay ladies, gather your children and go home for tonight and return here with a bag packed for the week. I doubt we will be gone that long it is just a precaution." He told the woman calmly before he nodded for us to leave as well.
We stayed until everyone had left except Brett's family. Kathrine came over and hugged Brett, "Please be safe, my son." He nodded. She then came over and hugged me, "You made me proud today, Samantha." I nodded. Brett's mother and sisters left, and we walked out behind them.

"You were amazing today. It made me look at you a whole new way."

"How do you mean?"

"You don't need cradling or teaching, Sam. You are a natural Alpha Female."

"You're just saying that to give me confidence."

"No, Sam I am not." He smiled and squeezed my hand as we walked up the driveway.

"After you." He said as he opened the door and stepped aside.

"Thank you, sir." I said a huge smile on my face as we walked in.

"I need to shower." Brett informed me looking down at his bloody clothes.

He would not morn until revenge was taken for Morris' death. Something werewolf's did to avoid emotion clouding there judgment when it came to war. I found it hard to do myself, but it was a custom I would need to adopt. I would not say anything about Morris until the fighting was over, and Brett was home safe. I just nodded as Brett claimed the stairs.
I went over and sat on the couch. I thought for a moment about Morris, the time we met in the hotel room, how confused he looked. Morris was a young man only a few years older than Brett. He was cautious and nerdy at times, but strong and loyal. He was always at Brett's side, and I knew they were close.
I then thought of Brett leaving, the danger I knew he would face. Brett was strong, and I didn't doubt his abilities, but I couldn't shack the worry I felt. He was my unborn child's father, my mate. I didn't want to imagine life without Brett. I wanted to be close to him, so I did something I had not before. I wouldn't wait for Brett to make the first move I would take control.
I walked up the stairs and into our bedroom. I could hear the water running; he was still in the shower. I walked over to door and looked in through a gap. Brett stood under the water; his eyes were shut. The water pelted against his bare skin. His chest rose and fell with each breath. With his eyes still closed he spoke, "well, are you just going to stare or will you join me?" I opened the door the rest of the way as he opened his eyes and smiled at me. He opened the clear glass shower door and motioned for me to get in. I took off my close leaving them on the tile floor and stepped in.
The warm water felt good on my back, and I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. When I opened my eyes, Brett was staring at me. Not the way a horny boy stares at a girl through her window, but the way a man stares at a woman. The way he does when he wishes to know her thoughts, wanting to know what goes on in her precious mind.

"Do you remember the last time we showered together?"

"Of course." I waited for him to explain how beautiful he thought I looked or how he couldn't wait for me to be his, but that was far from what he was thinking.

"You were so afraid of me, so delicate and defenseless." He paused sliding his fingers down my arm and interlacing them with mine, "I could hear your heart beat race, and I felt for a moment this surge of hunt instincts, the way you feel before you make a kill. When you know your strength, and you know its weakness, you feel the inevitable and you revel in it." He paused again looking down. "I know its part of my wolf, but it made me so ashamed. I thought about Patrick and what he did. He must have felt the same way when he...and I hated feeling like I owned you. I hated wanting you so much that it almost didn't matter if you wanted me back."

"But that's over now, and I want you Brett. Never forget I want you."

"I just can't help but fell sometimes that I ruined you. You were so unaware so innocent."

"Okay, let's get one thing strait. I was not innocent. Brett, I am so ashamed of who I used to be."

"Why? Because you were a normal teenage girl? There is nothing wrong with that."

"No Brett," tears started to form in my eyes. "because I was a drug addict. The day we met I know you knew I was hungover, but did you know that right before you picked me up for that date, I took pills. The morning you came to get me I was high. I thought I hallucinated you, Brett." I turned away from him. I was so embarrassed.

"Sam," He didn't know what to say.

"The only reason I stopped is because I didn't know what was real anymore. Mitch and Wit and everyone that's all we did. Mitch wouldn't even kiss me without something in his system. How messed up is that?"

"Who is Mitch?" Brett looked at me concerned.

"Umm, He was a friend. We kinda used to sleep together. He really liked me, but I was using him." I couldn't look Brett in the face. He must think I'm a fake acting like I have it all put together, acting like I can lead his pack while he is gone. Who was I kidding?

He simply stood there, and when I was about ready to run off and hide somewhere, he lifted me head and kissed me. He was rough, but not so that he hurt me. He took my chin and made me look at him.

"Samantha, if you think you deserve to be punished, I will punish you, but you are a different person. You need to let it go."

"But how do I let go of something so wrong?"

"Kneel."

"What?"

"Are you questioning your alpha? Kneel." He commanded.

I got down on the floor my bare knees digging into the tile floor. As I looked up to ask what now, Brett's hand collided with the side of my face. I was thrown off balance and to the shower floor. My face stung where Brett's palm had hit it. I was more than confused; I was hurt.

"Your debt has been paid. Now get up."

"You hit me." I stated holding my face. More ashamed and mortified than physically hurt.

"You needed to forgive yourself if the only way that would happen is by believing you have paid for your actions, I had to punish you. It is my duty as your alpha and your mate." He extended his hand to help me up, but I hesitated.

"Brett, you hit me." Was all I could manage to muster.

"You'll get over it. Now get up. I want to enjoy my last night at home." He winked at me. Did he seriously believe I'd have sex with him after this?

"I thought you said you hated felling like you owned me?"

"I do." He wasn't even aware I was still upset.

"Then why do you still act like it." I said spitting venom.

"Sam, what has gotten into you? Come on, baby." He scooped down and grabbed me. He carried me into the bed room my arms and legs flailing, and dropped me on the bed. He leaned over me pining me to the bed, and he kissed me.

"Get off me." I kicked and screamed. He finally moved as his expression changed.

"What is the big deal?" He said realizing I wasn't playing.

"You hit me. I don't know if that's okay here, but where I come from its called abuse."

"Sam, I didn't realize it was a big deal. That's how we deal with things as wolfs. I'm an alpha, and I am the law. I thought you understood that."

"I guess not."

I got up and went down stairs. I was furious. He hit me; I had the right to be mad. 'what was the big deal?' I'll tell you, YOU HIT ME. I sat on the couch fuming. Why did he think that was okay? Who did he not understand that would make me mad?
A few minutes had past when the door opened. I was shocked because we weren't expecting anyone. It was Kathrine, and she was mad.

"Samantha, How dare you?"

"What did I do?"

"Brett called me going on and on about you blowing up at him because he punished you."

"He hit me; I have a right to be mad."

"Samantha, a human has a right to be mad. Brett is your alpha, and you don't forget you are a werewolf. Read this." She handed me a pamphlet opened to a page in the middle.

It read:

Alpha Course of Action.
When punishing a spouse an alpha should follow these guild lines
Beatings are permitted when the female is disobedient or guilty of wrong doing.
A beating may include slapping, hitting, and kicking
But may not include a weapon
Continue until an apology is made

I was shocked. It didn't seem right that an alpha could beat his mate or anyone that did him wrong. Was this what I had to look forward to every time I did something he disagreed with?

"This isn't right." I spat.

"No, you aren't right." Kathrine yelled. I had never heard her yell. "Brett is more than kind to you and he sticks his neck out for you again and again. You are a spoiled human who needs to do her homework." She pulled up her sleeve to reveal a large scare, "This is what I received when my husband found out I lied to him about my past. You are a lucky girl." Her yelling stopped, "Brett is fair. He did not hit you because he was mad, but because you needed to get over the past. Go apologize. Don't ruin his last night before war. You never know when will be the last time you see him." She turned and left.

No matter how much I wanted human rules to apply, I wasn't a human anymore. The werewolf world is a harsh one, and that was something I was just beginning to understand. Kathrine was right. I was spoiled by the human world, and Brett is fair. I knew what I needed to do.
I climbed the stairs and opened the bedroom door. I stood there and waited for Brett to motion me in. I went to him and knelt again looking at the ground.

"Alpha, I am sorry I have offended you. Thank you for atoning my past wrongs. Thank you for being fair. Thank you for understanding my past and not holding it against me."

"Samantha you may rise." He said lifting my eyes to him. "All is forgiven." He hugged me tight. "I guess seeing how you were today made me forget how new you are. You've done research about werewolf ways, but I can't expect you to know everything."

"Let's just forget about it. I don't want to ruin our last night."

"Okay." He smiled and kissed me ever so gently.