An Easy Friend

Chapter 23

Bleach was released in June of that year. Though Sub Pop didn't promote Bleach as much as the guys wanted, it was a steady seller.

Nirvana had gained groups of fans all over the west coast. They even had people calling in from college radio stations from places like Chicago and Houston.

I was even recognized as "Cobain's girl". It bothered Kurt that I wasn't being acknowledged for my own work, but I assured him it was an honor being called his. He'd roll his eyes and kiss my forehead.

One day, Sub Pop called us in for an impromptu meeting. The guys were nervous about it. Had they done something wrong? Well they hadn't. In fact, the meeting was to announce an award. Sub Pop was funding a trip to Europe.

"Holy shit! You're joking!" Krist exclaimed. He spoke for all of us. We were ecstatic.

"No, Novoselic, we aren't joking." The manager laughed. "There's been an insane growth in the grunge genre in Europe and they love you guys over there. We're getting big money out of this."

"Um, grunge?" Chad questioned.

"That's what they're calling it. Apparently you fit into the category." He went on to list big names in grunge music.

"We're being categorized with them?" Kurt said excitedly. "Shit, we're in!"

-----

Krist took the expression 'when in Rome...' to a whole other level. After a sightseeing trip to the colosseum, Krist invited us to a fancy looking restaurant not far from there. Right after the food was placed on the table, Krist stopped us from eating.

"I have something important to say, and I think this is the best time to say it."

"Does it have to be when I'm starving and there's a big plate of hot food in front of me?" Chad said mockingly. We laughed.

"Shut up Chad." He turned to his girlfriend. "Shelli. I want you to know how much I love you and need you. And what better way to highlight that than to get you to sign a contract stating that you will fulfill my every need until I die. In other words, will you marry me?" He then pulled out a small velvet box and opened it to reveal a gold banded small diamond ring.

"Woah, I was so lost up until a three seconds ago. Fuck yes!" She stood up and hugged him, squealing the whole time. The entire restaurant began to clap for them when they caught on with what was happening.

I felt my eyes getting teary as I watched two of my best friends agree to marriage. Kurt noticed and grabbed my hand and squeezed it. His eyes were sad. I leaned my head on his shoulder trying to comfort him because I didn't know what was bothering him.

Later when we went back to our hotel Kurt slipped out and and smoked on the balcony.

I knocked on the glass door. "Room for one more?"

"Always." He extended his arms and I walked into them. I hugged him tightly.

"What happened to you earlier?" I asked. "Weren't you happy about Krist and Shelli?"

"No, of course I was. But seeing them... it made me think of something." he said quietly.

"What's that?"

"I don't want to ruin the trip." I pulled back to look at his expression. It was stony.

"Kurt?" I was a bit frightened.

"I haven't been completely honest with you." He paused for a while. Maybe it was to let me absorb that. "My stomach... it-it's killing me. None of the doctors have ever given me something useful. I needed something stronger. So... I bought the strongest stuff I could afford."

"What are you talking about?" My voice was barely more than a whisper.

"Heroin." he sighed. "Seeing Krist and Shelli made me see that I wasn't being a good boyfriend. I'm sorry." He spoke slowly. "I don't know what to say for myself. I am absolute scum for doing this to myself and you. I know it's wrong but I really can't help it. I know how much you desire honesty from those around you so here I am, being honest."

I hadn't been able to move this whole time. I was in shock. And what with Kurt had said... well it confused me. It was so contradictory yet so sincere.

Kurt put his hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright."

I nodded, still not able to speak for I didn't know what to say. I went back inside and dat down in the corner. Kurt followed me.

"Say something." he pleaded.

"I don't know what to." I really didn't want to get into a fight. "You understand the gravity of your situation, right?" Kurt nodded. "Well then you should know what you need to do."

He looked confused. I know he wasn't expecting me to remain so calm. But he knows I am nonviolent, so it couldn't have been a total surprise.

"Yeah I know." he looked down. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes. Let's go to bed."