An Easy Friend

Chapter 41

Several months later...

"Ally wake up already. I made oatmeal." Dez shook me awake. The clock displayed the numbers 7:30 am. I glared at him for waking me so early. He had a habit of waking me just because he was bored.

I sat up, rubbed the sleep out of my eyes (someone tell me where I've heard this before) (update: it's daydream believer by the monkees, oops), and walked around the now familiar apartment.

After Kurt's overdose, I came back to California because I very much disliked being back in Seattle. I couldn't afford to live by myself so I decided to move in with Dez until I could get enough money to support myself. It was only meant to be temporary but I've grown so accustomed to living with someone that I couldn't live alone. It reminded me of those years when my father would completely ignore my existence; it was like living with a ghost.

So that is how I arrived at the present time, sat across from Dez and eating organic oatmeal. This was one good thing about living with him- we are both very conscious of what we eat.

"What are we doing today?" I asked him.

"I think Shelli wants to go to Beverly Hills." Dez responded indifferently.

"Beverly Hills? Is she crazy?" I know she's a shopaholic but this is ridiculous.

"Are you forgetting how much Krist makes now?"

"Oh." I actually did. Half-way through 1992 and Nirvana's fame became mind blowingly massive. Sometimes I wondered how Dez and I managed to remain friends with these people.

"I just want to look at all the clothes I'll soon be able to buy." Dez said hopefully. He was just cast the leading role in a low-budget film. He had very high hopes for it as it was his first legitimate acting job. "You don't have to come. I know you prefer staying sensible when it comes to this."

"Yeah, I'm not going."

"Suit yourself." He finished the last of his oatmeal and dumped the dish in the sink. I sighed at the thought of having to clean it for him later.

Minutes later Shelli called. I explain to her that I won't be going and after hearing "but why?" and "lame!" I've finally managed to work out a deal with her. She won't drag me to Beverly Hills of I won't drag her to any more museums.

With Dez out of the house all day I decided to do the unthinkable; absolutely nothing. I've been so drained of every mentally stimulating action for so long now that I don't have any motivation to do anything.

I flopped onto the couch and stared at the ceiling as I think about my life. It's been nearly 6 months since Kurt and I broke it off and I have done nothing since. Sure I managed to secure a job at a photo hut downtown but that's done nothing for my self-esteem. The only thing I can pride myself on right now is the fact that I've managed to expand my music collection to nearly twice its size.

Kurt and I remained friends, much to Courtney's dismay. Courtney moved in with Kurt after I moved out and had been there ever since. The neighbors really hate them. They call the cops claiming that they are in possession of drugs every month. Sometimes Kurt really is in possession of drugs and is met with a heavy fine and Courtney has to have her blood examined because they don't trust her one bit. All of this has somehow managed to become a very public affair.

Nirvana has been doing so well. Two other music videos have been released, they played on Saturday Night Live, their album went gold. Shelli and Krist seemingly never got over their honeymoon phase. Dave hooks up with women all the time and is quite content about it. And as for Kurt and Courtney- well you know.

My eyebrows furrow as I feel myself slipping into another existential crisis. I have absolutely no idea what the fuck I'm doing with my life or what I'm living for. I silently curse myself for not making a plan in my earlier years. Is it too late for college?

I sigh dig through my collection of films. I can't deal with these thoughts right now. I'll just put them away in a cupboard at the very back of my mind so that I'll deal with them later.

In the mood for something cheerful, I slip "My Neighbor, Totoro" into the VCR. I lay on the couch and concentrate on the film and not on the cupboard that is beginning to rattle in my mind, demanding for attention.

Thankfully, there was a knock on the door a few minutes later. I opened it to find none mother than Mr. Cobain himself.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked seriously. He ran a hand through his faded red hair. Surprisingly, it suited him.

"Sure." I step aside to allow him into the vicinity of the living room. I motion for him to sit in the couch and he does.

"Totoro?" he asked, eyebrows raised and he scrutinizes the screen. I roll my eyes and turn the television off.

"I need it sometimes. What's up?"

"It's about Courtney." he began. I tensed, knowing it was going to be a difficult conversation. "She's doing the worse thing any woman could do and I can't fucking stop her." His head droops.

"What is she doing?"

"I caught her snorting coke last week. And the week before that she was smoking. And she's had cocktails here and there. The closer she gets to her due date the less control she had over herself. Every month the drugs get worse. I don't know what she'll do next." His head is in his hands now.

"You need to get her help." was the only advice I could think of.

Kurt looked up at me. He looked exhausted, more than any 25 year old man should be. His hair was messy, his shoulders seemed to carry a thousand pounds, all traces of optimism were erased.

"I thought about that but they'll take the baby away, Ally. That's the last thing I want to happen." A panicked look crept into his azure eyes.

"If she doesn't receive help she can seriously damage the baby." I explained.

Kurt sighed. "I know that. I just don't know if I can turn in the mother of my unborn child."

I placed my hand over his in attempt to console him. I had noticed how he only every explained the connection between him and Courtney as "the mother of my child". His unhappiness saddened me.

"You don't have to do it. I can make the call if you want."

"I guess that would make it a little better." he said quietly. I nodded and went to the phone. As I dialed the number, Kurt switched the television back on and focused intently on the the film- just as I was doing a few minutes ago.

After I made the call I sat back down next to Kurt. His expression was melancholic. I wrapped my arm around his small frame and he sunk into the hug.

"It'll be alright. I promise KC."

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Sorry for the long wait, I've been lacking so much motivation in continuing this story. Also, I want to start another one on a completely different subject but I don't know if that will happen or not.

Enjoy possibly the hottest photo of Kurt to ever exist.