Stay with Me (A Niall Horan Fan Fiction)

Chapter 42

Accepting the fact that Niall wasn’t in my life at all was becoming more and more difficult. I was trying hard to somehow pluck him out of my mind but I loved him too much to be able to do that. Not getting his constant calls and text messages was becoming insufferable. Sometimes I used to cry my heart out sitting down on the floor leaning against the wall while sometimes I used to lie down glaring at the ceiling reminiscing about our happier times. I knew he wasn’t doing great either but at least he had a lot of people in his life to help him forget me. I knew he must have been in regular conversation with his mother and Greg and of course his friends. I hoped that he called his father and reconciled with him. Thinking about them made me feel very guilty of what I did to him. They were all so nice to me and I particularly remember Zayn saying me to take care of Niall as he is quite sensitive. I promised him and now I could only detest myself for breaking that promise. I could also clearly imagine them hating me to the utmost for hurting their best friend so much. If only I could tell them what I was going through and what it felt like choosing to not be with someone whom you loved immensely and madly. If I could tell them how lonely I was.

The only person who lessened my pain with whatever time I had with him was Aarav. He called me that very day at night when we went for coffee and exchanged numbers. It was a normal chat and didn’t last long but there was a strange kind of serenity in him that calmed the deadly turmoil which was running through my body and soul. Of course, I had Rita and Mrs. Gandhi with me but no matter how hard they tried they simply couldn’t leave Niall out of our conversations. They had to tell me that I would be doing well soon and that I needn’t worry so much. I didn’t want that because it made me weaker and extremely fragile. I didn’t need anyone to remind me every time that I would be doing well because I knew I would not. I was just trying to pick up the pieces and go with the flow.

Aarav on the other hand, wasn’t aware of any of these in my life. He didn’t know about Niall and I didn’t feel any need to tell him either. He would call me almost every day and we would talk about how our day went. He told me a lot of funny incidents from his office and surprisingly showed a great interest in my work. He asked me about the topics and how I wrote them. I kind of liked it because for a change the content of the conversations wasn’t Niall unlike Rita and Mrs. Gandhi’s. Whatever time I spent talking to him, I felt completely alive and breathing again. I felt a lot less lonely. It was quite weird considering that I wasn’t even willing to give him my number in the first place let alone talk to him almost every day.

I was going out with Rita today as she needed to do some shopping. She took a day off from the dental clinic and called me up in the morning to stay ready and meet her at the metro station at 10.00 Am. It was a good way to keep my mind off of Niall because I basically had nothing to do in the morning. I either watched television even if nothing suiting my likes was on or watched movies online. I lost the interest to read story books even as my mind wasn’t capable of understanding any content when my own life was filled with nothing less than tragedies.

I took a nice shower and consumed some toasts and scrambled eggs for breakfast. I dressed into a light yellow top and ripped jeans’ Capri as I tied my hair into a high pony tail. I slipped my watch down my left hand and wrapped it tight around my wrist. I hung a blue sling bag loosely on my shoulder that I arranged before with all the required items and grabbed my mobile to walk towards the living room. On taking the keys from the kitchen counter, I wore my shoes and left the apartment. I locked it shut behind me as I pressed the elevator button to go down and out eventually.

On hitting the road and after walking quite a few distances, I finally reached college. The institution, the main gate, the tree at the left against which Niall used to lean while waiting for me and even the place where I stood waiting for the bus reminded me of him. College was open for first and second year students which helped it maintain its usual image of students loitering everywhere. The main gate was open and I could see young people moving everywhere laughing or chatting. A smile curled up on my lips as well thinking about Niall’s apt imitating skills of Sir Vincent and his funny Anglo-Indian accent. I shook my head as the sweet memory crossed my mind. I looked at my watch to notice that it was 9.45 Am. Just then, a bus arrived and it was almost empty. I sighed out a relief and boarded it as I occupied a seat by the window. I bought the ticket from the bus-conductor soon and looked outside through the window while waiting for the metro station to arrive.