Afternoons

deep breaths

I somehow managed to get Eleanor out of everyone's questions. She looked fine at first but then the kids starting asking more questions and i could tell she was getting uncomfortable.
I took her back to my room where she stood silently.
I'm internally freaking out.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

She looks up at me and then bursts into a fit of laughter.
I wasn't expecting that at all but I'm guessing this is a good thing, right?

"I'm sorry...it's just, weird. How your siblings are in fact supportive of you. They were there to interview me, to see if i was good enough, you know?" She smiles.

I was lost for words. That's not really how i viewed it but now that i know what it looks like from someone else's perspective, it changes my own thoughts.
But it just didn't sound right. My siblings would never look after me. On the contrary, i look after them. Supportive? I'm not so sure if i would say supportive. Just because i came out to them and they changed the pronouns from 'he' to 'she,' doesn't necessarily mean they are all supportive.
I mean look at Galiana. I knew what her intentions were when she asked Eleanor if she called me by my full name.
Galiana thinks that I'm too masculine. She doesn't appreciate that. She also says I'm more of a 'boy' than a girl. What the hell does that even mean?
There is a difference between masculinity and being a boy.
I'm a female who is masculine. That's it.

Let's just say Galiana thinks I'm in the wrong. May i add, she thinks the world rotates around her. But lately I've been very impatient with her. I'm tired of her bullshit.

"Yeah...it's what siblings do," total fucking lie.

"So...you are single," Eleanor starts off.

I can feel myself getting red. Why does she have to say it like that?

"Yes, i am," i answer quickly.

She nods with a smile.

"Ok...are you looking for anyone?"

What's up with all the questions today, by everyone? Never in my life have i been questioned like this.

"I...don't know," i answer truthfully.

I'm not necessarily looking but im not going to stop anyone who wants to try. Well, except for boys. That's a big no.

"Cool."

She jumped back into the project as if nothing happened. At least she was done with the questions. Being cornered is unbearable. I hate being the center of attention yet i still want the attention.

"Do you have anything planned for the rest of the day?"

I spoke too soon.

"I don't think so."

She stays silent for a while. She puts her pencil down and turns to look at me. I feel myself stop breathing. Her eyes are so captivating i can't stop looking. She tilts her head.

"Would you..." she pauses. She takes a deep breath before proceeding, "like to go to the movies with me?" She says quickly.

Oh lord. As in a date? Some friendly movie time? I've been out a few times, as in dates but I'm mostly the one to ask. Who will pay for the tickets? I'm a bit broke at the moment. Actually i think i have a 20 dollars...wait no, i used that for food.
Now that i remember those 20 were from a month ago. I totally forgot i left them in my jeans from yesterday.

"S-sure," i finally answer.

Dumbass you stuttered. Loser.
I sprint towards the bathroom where i left my jeans from yesterday.
I felt like crying, they weren't there.