Afternoons

"thick books"

"Do not grab me from there," Eleanor says as I still hold onto her love handles.

"Why not?" I rest my chin on her shoulder.

We have been walking for about 20 minutes up and down the streets, in the same position for quite some time now, with me walking behind her with my hands around her.
Her hands resting right on top of mine.
After the sweet kiss we shared, we decided that we still didn't want to go home yet.

"It makes me self conscious.."

"You know you're beautiful, right?" I ask.

She shrugs.

My eyebrows furrow at her reaction. She should know how beautiful she is.
I make her stop walking and spin her around, making her face me.
I cup her face with my hands.

"Say it with me, I am beautiful."

She stays silent and looks at the ground but I immediately make her look at me again.

"Say it..." I encourage her.

"I can't," she whispers.

"Yes you can. Now say it, but don't say it because you want to hear me say it. Say it and believe it. You tell yourself that you're beautiful everyday. Do whatever makes you feel beautiful. If that means to dress in a certain way then do it," I'm determined to make her realize how great she is.

Eleanor looks at me with a sad smile. Out of nowhere she hugs me. I'm not used to all the hugging, and recently people have had the nerve to hug me. It's weird but it doesn't feel wrong.

"You're so sweet," she whispers.

"If Zoe were here she would say differently," I laugh.

Eleanor hums in response and finally lets go of me.

"She likes you, you know?" Eleanor smiles kindly.

I froze right then and there. What the fuck did she just say?

"What?!" I practically yell.

"Hey, calm down. Have you not noticed? She is always looking at you with love eyes. It's cute. And I'm not trying to be with you because I noticed that! But...I did talk to her. She didn't mention she liked you but I put the pieces together. She said she hasn't dated in a while. And that now that she is trying she can't. What does that tell you? She's stuck with you. Talk to her. And then decide what you will do. Like I said before, whatever you decide, I'm okay with."

It didn't matter where I sat, I just had to sit. I ended up on the cold ground.
I don't know what to do. This new information just fucked me up. Does Zoe really like me? Since when? How come she never told me before?
Oh god...
This is too much. I need someone else to talk to.

I said my goodbyes to Eleanor and left running towards my "home."
When I ran inside I was greeted by a few men, laying around the living room, watching Snow White.

"Have you guys seen Teddy Bear-"

"Kitchen!" They cut me off.

I walk towards the kitchen and there he is, wearing a apron that had a Teddy bear's head sown into it. He was cooking and dancing to the music that he was listening to in his ear buds.
To not scare him as much I take out one of his earbuds.

He was about to fight, until he saw who was in front of him. A smile spread across his face. He pulls me into a big hug. His hugs are the only ones I don't mind at all at any times.

"Alexina, I've missed you so much!"

I laugh. "I've been a bit busy."

He nods. "I understand, but how've you been? Are you hungry? Sit down."