Living In The Past

O.

I opened my eyes. I wished they wouldn't obey to my instinctive command, but unfortunately they did. I was still alive. Shit.
I stayed still, looking around. I was in my cell this time.
I realised I was dressed with clothes that weren't mine and tried to sit, but my body reminded me of the torture I went through. Every part was sore and painful. However, it was nothing compared to the damage done inside of my soul.
I felt nothing. I didn't have any emotion inside of me. My survival instincts shut them all out, to keep me away from pain. I was annihilated.

"You're awake" a deep voice stated, echoing in the cell.

He didn't even startle me. I felt like nothing was giving a reason to live anymore, making me fearless.

"You need to eat" the voice said.

I finally sit on the mattress, after considerable efforts.

"How are you feeling ?" The voice asked more softly.

I rose my brows. I was staring at the wall in front of me, half dead.
I didn't answer.

"You're leaving today" he said.

This time I turned around, only to see a mobster in the corner. A big tall guy like all the mobsters I had seen before.
He was a bald muscular guy.

"And you're not dying today" he added, probably thinking it would cheer me up.

I stayed still, staring back at the wall. I didn't give a shit about living.
An awkward silence filled the room. I could feel he was trying to be nice. But he probably understood I wasn't going to talk.

"Kevin, is he ready ?"

My gaze automatically fell on the door, where the sound of my brother's voice came from.
The door flew open, and soon, I was facing my brother.
I quickly looked away. I couldn't be near him ever again. I couldn't even be in the same room as him. I couldn't because the void of emotion protecting me was crackling when he was there. I felt tears flowing down my cheeks again, uncontrollably.

"We need him in the car in twenty" William ordered coldly, like if he hadn't any remorses about torturing me.

I released a breath I didn't know I was holding when he left.
20 minutes later, the guy named Kevin grabbed my arm and led me out of the cell. I followed him, mostly because I didn't care anymore about what was going to happen to me.
We soon arrived in a huge garage. I climbed in a car, where someone handcuffed me and put a opaque bag on my head once again.
I wasn't even scared.
Nothing could reach me. With or without vision, I was lifeless. Just breathing.
Once the car stopped, I heard the doors opened, before being forced out of the vehicle. Someone removed the bag.

"Ash ?!" I blurted out.

Ash was standing in front of me, escorted by three of his mobsters, in the middle of nowhere. We were in an arid area.
I was on the other side, with my mother's mafiosi.

"Release him, and I'll surrender" Ash explained.

My eyes opened wide when I realised he was sacrificing himself for my freedom.

"Not so fast. We need you handcuffed and on your knees" one of the men next to me ordered.

Ash complied.

"Don't do this" I weakly whispered.

One of the men grabbed Ash.

"No ! Don't do this !" I suddenly yelled, bursting into tears.

My emotions rushed back inside of me, and I tried to move toward him, but someone yanked me back.
Ash was bowing his head, and didn't even spare me a glance as he followed his enemy to the car.

"NOOOOOOO !" I screamed as loud as I could, trying to beak free from the person behind me.

Once Ash inside the car, the guy keeping me still pushed me away.
I fell on the burning sand, and the sweden mobsters helped me to get back on my feet.
Before I could do anything, the car I was in a few moments before was already running away.
I only had my eyes to cry. They did the last thing that could reach me.
I cried all the way back to what I recognised was the headquarters.
I couldn't move. I regretted how I treated him. How I had been unfair to him.
I realised he was the only one who cared about me.
Someone opened the car door, and lifted me up. I was carried bridal style to Ash's father office.
The person dropped me slowly on a couch, and exited the room.

"I don't know if you know what's happening" the old man said.

He was staring through the window, and I could only see his back.

"I do" I replied, my eyes red from crying.

"I couldn't stop him when we received the message about a possible exchange between you and him" he explained, his voice crackling with the emotion.

Tears blurred my vision. I couldn't stand the fact that it was my fault.

"I'm sorry" I finally said, sobbing.

He sighed.

"I don't blame you. But we can't let him die in there. I'll do anything to bring him back here and destroy those bastards. I want to know if you're with me"

Fury invaded my mind as I remembered everything they had done to me.

"I am" I replied firmly.

"Are you ready to kill ?" He asked.

"Yes"

I clenched my fist and my jaw when my memories flowed back in my head.
I put my hand in the pockets of the jacket they dressed me with and felt a piece of paper.
I grabbed it and started to read the handwritten message.

"j6otii ese no9ya cbka 1ulctr. O."

Hi guys !
I'm currently on vacation, so updates might be a bit slower. For the few of you who might have been impatient about my story, I apologize 💘

Thank you so much for reading !
Love from otters !