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50 - Fights & Frights

"What?"

Her words startled me, I felt guilty. I felt a pit at the bottom of my stomach and it felt horrible.It wasn't my fault though was it?Marcellous kissed me, and I pushed him away. That was the right thing to do, I did the right thing.

"You kissed him and you knew that I liked him!"

"Penelope,I can explain it's not like that",I started but I could not find the right words to tell her what happened.

"He told Christian and Christian told me,how could you Mia?Why would you do that to me?",Penelope spoke as if I betrayed her,as if her blood was heating up in veins with every word she spoke.

"I didn't..."

"Tell me you didn't kiss him, I don't want to believe it",she shook her head.

"Penelope..."I took a second to regain my train of thought."I stopped it , I swear."

"So you did kiss him! Mia! Friends dont do that to each other!I trusted you!"

"Penelope,wait it's not like that you know I would never..."

"Yet you did, you hurt me anyway. You don't care do you?You only care about yourself!",Penelope's eyes had a dark sparkle to them. "Everything is always about Mia!Why does everything revolve around you?"

"Penelope,stop please",I begged her as I felt tears form in my eyes.

Don't cry. Don't you dare cry.

"Do you not have feelings for Marcellous,look at me and tell me you feel nothing for him!"

I stayed silent.

"Do you want all the boys?Is that it?Do you want Trent,Jamie and Marcellous, is that what it is?Is it an ego thing?",Penelope spat at me and clenched her teeth.

I looked down at the grass, it was dark but I noticed the deep green colour and the effect it had on the grey pavement on which I stood. The bold colour of the grass complimented the dull pavement.

"Are you not going to say anything?",Penelope asked annoyed.

I didn't know what to say so I couldn't speak and even if I did it would be too hard to hold back my tears. Everything was happening too fast. My thoughts were crashing into each other and I didn't know what to do.

"I honestly can't believe this, go to hell Mia",Penelope's words made me slump down onto the pavement. I heard her footsteps hit the ground as she walked away from me. I burried my head in my hands.My tears flowed into my palms and splashed across my face.

"Darling?"

I looked up to find the owner of the sweet,angelic voice.

"Mom"

"I came to watch the fireworks with you honey, what are you doing here?What's wrong?",my mother questioned me in a concerned tone.

"I thought you weren't coming."

"I didn't want you to be alone darling",she offered me her hand.

I grabbed it but lifted myself up using my own strength.

"Thanks mom but I actually feel a little sick, I don't know maybe I have a cold",I lied as I dusted the back of my jeans with both my hands.

"It's okay baby, I know it's hard for you to be here without him and if you don't go watch the fireworks I would understand",she shrugged.

"Really?"

"I haven't been to that doughnut place across town yet and I don't think I'm ready to so I know what you're going through",she said putting her arm around me.

"Honey glazed,chocolate centered",I smiled because that was my parents favourite doughnut.

"Love in my tummy",she laughed.

I looked at her, I admired her beauty.

"I want to go home please",I shook my head.

She looked at me for a second and then smiled.

"The car is this way honey."

We walked to the car and she opened the passenger door for me and watched me get in. Once I was inside I connected my phone to the Bluetooth and looked for a searched for a song to distract myself with.

My mother opened the car door and got in,she shut it and sighed. I looked at her and she smiled at me as she started the car.

"I miss him",I said without thinking." I miss him so much mommy, why is it so hard? I miss having him around,watching soccer with him, I miss our family dinners, I miss all the advice he would give me. I miss dad ao much",I said as I felt the tears flooded down my face and onto my shirt.

"It's okay to miss him baby, I miss him too",she started but something happened. All of a sudden I couldn't hear what she was saying. It was like someone had clicked mute on the remote.

I felt my throat clog up and I felt myself struggling to breathe. Everything was suddenly happening in slow motion. I felt my heart pounding in my chest but I couldn't move, I couldn't move. I was paralysed.

"Mia, are you okay?Mia!",mother's voice was drowning out, it was like I could hear her but in the distance.

I tried to speak but my mouth was betraying me.I wasn't in control of my body.

My mother shuffled in her seat in search for something. I felt her even though I didn't know what was happening.

"Here baby, take this ",she said handing me an asthma inhaler.

Without thinking I grabbed it from her and inhaled, I did it twice and I felt my lungs become looser. I let out a breath of air.

"Baby, are you okay?",my mother asked concerned.

"I was having an asthma attack?",I asked in confusion because I hadn't suffered from asthma since I was seven.I didn't even carry my inhaler around.

"No baby you were having a panic attack but thinking you're having an asthma attack actually stopped your panic attack, are you okay honey? I should take you to the hospital",my mother began to rant.

"No, not the hospital. Just take me home."

"But Mia..."

"I just forgot to take my anxiety medication."

"Are you sure darling?"

"Yes mom, I want to go home please."