Reborn

Safe Haven

I walk through the array of flowers and shrubbery until I catch sight of Elaine. As I make my way toward her, I put my hands out, brushing the plants as I walk by, taking in the sight and smell of them all.

As I step up behind her I stay quiet, knowing that she knows I'm there.

After a minute of silence, I say quietly, "You have a beautiful garden."

"Thank you" she responds in just as quiet a voice, smiling up at me slightly.

I stand there awkwardly in silence once again, not entirely sure why I even felt I had to come out here. After thinking about what to say for a minute I start "I hope..."

"I'm sor..."

We both stop, having begun speaking simultaneously. She laughs, "you first," she motions to me.

"Uhh. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable in there." I say, fidgeting with my hands behind my back.

"You didn't" she replies softly. After another pause she continues, "Your wings?"

I tilt my head and look at her in confusion until it dawns on me, I hid my wings again. "Umm. Yeah, I'm not used to having them out. Apparently, I'm not as stealthy as I thought." I smile slightly and nod, trying to make light of the fact that something that should be natural to me isn't.

She nods, not quite sure what to say.

"This garden is your wings." I realise quietly. This time she's the one to look at me like I'm crazy. I smirk slightly as I begin to explain. I let my wings out and wrap them around me, encasing myself in a cocoon of my own creation. As I let them unravel, she looks at me in slight understanding. "This garden keeps you safe, or at least gives the illusion of safety."

"It makes me happy."

I nod in response.

"Your wings make you sad." She says.

I blink, not entirely sure what to say to that.

"They don't make me sad. They remind me of things I still can't fully remember." I try to explain. "That makes me sad. The things I missed, the things I couldn't do, the things I still can't."

"I was engaged." She says. "Being this makes me sad. I lost him." There is no anger in her voice, only sadness, emptiness. Much like there is in her sister's, Nesta's, tone.

I could have responded with something like 'If he truly loved you, being Fae wouldn't have mattered', but that's not what she needs. We stay silent for a while, staring at this safe haven that she has created for herself.

"Your mind will always believe everything you tell it."

I tilt my head, unsure on what she meant. "He likes you." She states. Again, I'm not quite sure what she means, or who.

"You're good for him, too." She smiles at me and gets back to pruning the flowers. I take that as the conversation being over and turn to leave before I begin to understand that she was referring to their conversation earlier. The one I interrupted. It's only then that I realise who she might have been talking about, remembering the looks she gave to both myself and Azriel.

Azriel.

That's who she was talking about. I was about to turn back and ask her but a whiff of some lovely smelling food floated by and so I knew I needed to make my way to the kitchen, leaving Elaine to remain in her own company.

As I enter the Kitchen I see Sandy's back to me, standing with Azriel and Feyre.

Feyre looks up and smiles at me, making the other two turn their heads. I purposely look away from Azriel and keep my focus on the others.