Reborn

Slowly but Surely

I woke up, the moon shining into the room, wrapped in warmth. As I squint my eyes open I realise the source of the warmth. Wings. And for once, not my own. Shocked I slowly look up and see Az's eyes on mine. He gives me a soft smile which I return.

"Hi." I whisper softly, looking down in embarrassment, remembering how I cried all over him.

"Hi" he chuckles slightly at my response, causing me to look back up at him, his smile widening before his eyebrows furrowing in worry. "How are you?" He asks softly.

"Better. Thank you." We stay unmoving, not wavering under one another's gazes.

After silently lying there for a while he slowly moves his hand to brush against my face gently. The back of his hand stroking my cheek making its way down my face, brushing softly against my lips. I let out a large breath, keeping my eyes on his as his gaze moves toward my lips.

I copy his movements, moving my arm slowly, careful not to brush his sensitive wings and move my hand up to his cheek, his eyes moving back up to mine as his hand continues its pattern on my cheek. I brush my fingers over his soft cheek as his eyes flutter closed, as though he desperately needed it. I move my hand away from his face to lightly grasp his hand. Slowly moving it away from my face so that I could see it clearly in the moonlight. I delicately graze my fingers over his scarred hand, making sure to touch each and every nick that was there, furrowing my brows in concentration.

I look back up to his eyes to see him looking at me softly, with an odd expression on his face. I smile up at him and move his hand back to my lips, lightly kissing his fingertips, a blush surely on my cheeks. I let go of his hand, looking down in uncertainty, but letting my wings out. As if he knew what I was going to do he had opened his wings to give mine enough room. Once mine were out and tucked into my back he moves his back around me, wrapping me back in his warmth. I smile up at him in thanks.

We stay like that for who knows how long, just looking at one another. I feel content. Happy, comfortable and content. Three things I once worried I would never be. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes back, a small smile on his face, the shadows moving around slowly as though not wishing to disturb us. I'm surprised that there hasn't even been a knock on the door but I'm not too worried, happy to just stay like this for as long as possible.

Of course just as I think that there is a knock on the door. I sigh, Az laughing lightly at me as though he knew what I had been thinking. He groans as he unravels his wings from around me and moves to sit up, our hands still together as he uses his grip to slowly move me to a sitting position on the bed.

"Yes?" I ask.

The door clicks open revealing Rhys in the doorway, he doesn't come in though. "Just wanted to check if you were okay, and let you know that there is some food in the kitchen for you." He smiles at us, a slight smirk gracing his lips as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. As if not wanting to say anymore, probably having notice how Az tensed slightly as he had opened the door, his grip on my hand not tightening in the least, Sandy accepts my nod and smile and leaves the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

I turn to Az the smile still on my face. "Shall we?" I ask him, tugging slightly on his arm to pull him up off of the bed. He gets up and moves to stand closer to me, as though wanting to maintain contact. Despite sort of wanting to question this, whatever this is, I ignored it, accepted it, and carried on.

We made our way out the door, down the stairs and into the kitchen without a word. That's what I liked about our relationship, that we didn't have to speak to understand what the other needed or meant, we just knew. I grabbed the bowls and put them on the table as Azriel, keeping physical contact with me, grabbed the cutlery and we sat down. We were sat opposite one another, but he keeps his leg in contact with mine.

After eating in silence for a minute or two I look back up at him, noting that he doesn't seem to have taken his eyes off of me. "Why?" I ask him, not really knowing entirely what I'm asking but knowing that he would understand. He doesn't answer me for a moment, as if thinking through how he should respond.

"You were crying."

I raise my eyebrow in response, is that all he's going to say?

"I was." I state, not entirely sure what he was getting at.

He looks down at his food, as if now unsure about why he wanted to maintain physical contact. To calm his nerves a bit I say, "I don't mind, I'm just wondering." I say this quietly though, not wanting any of the others to hear – especially Cassian – or I'd never live it down.

"I need to know that you are okay." He whispers hoarsely, as though not quite able to get the words out.

I move my hand to cover his, making him look up at me from his food. "I'm okay. For the first time in a long time, I'm okay." I reassure him, smiling and squeezing his hand. His wings flaring out and the shadows swirling quicker, encompassing the both of us. I'm not sure why he feels the need to do this but it does make me feel better. It makes me feel cared for. It makes me feel safe.

I flare my smaller wings out, lightly brushing his own, his wings being much larger than Rhys and Cassian. I overheard Mor and Feyre laughing about wingspan but I didn't pay attention to the context. Az shivers at the contact, the shadows almost pulsing in response, as he lets out a large exhale, the shadows curling sensuously around my face as I reach up and move my hair out of my face, having given up trying to tame it today. Az opens his eyes and pushes more hair behind my ears, smirking at me a little and brushing his own wings against mine, making me shiver.

I put my hand up, stopping him from doing or saying anything else. "Azriel." He notably shivers once again but I carry on undeterred, "I don't know what this is." I see his eyebrows furrow and his lips turn into a frown. "Not that I'm not okay with it." I back track a little. "I mean, I – I like you." I stop, startled at what I just said. "I – I mean" I look down my cheeks burning. "I just think we should take this a little slower. Maybe. Maybe not – I. I'm not sure what this is so I don't know what I'm doing." I finish lamely.

A large, scarred hand comes and lifts my chin, making me look back up at his grinning face. "I like you too." He says, making me smile. "I can do slower." He says, his hand moving down to hold my own. I nod at him, the smiles not making their way off of our faces as we walk back up to my room to star gaze.