Scared To Love

Second Thoughts

Who knew running away from girls would be so difficult ? It's almost impossible when you're in a school mostly made of girls .

It's a lot harder than I thought . It doesn't get any easier when ya got friends like Mark and Joshua...and others... Basically, every close friend of mine .

When I said I wasn't making friends with any girl , I thought nobody would notice me...apparently not .

They just kept coming . Like zombies in a horror movie trying to attack you .

Well...except in my case...they're girls and they're not going to kill me but it's my poor heart I'm worried about .

I seriously don't want to risk falling for any girl again .

" So who's your bestie ? " Joshua whispered . The cold calm atmosphere made everything feel just great . Till Joshua ruined the moment with another ridiculous question .

I so so want to shout right now but I'm gonna control myself .

I glared at him then looked down , up again and ignored the question .
" The girls...who's your bestie ? " he repeated .

Why is everybody asking me that ?

I make one decision in life ... NO GIRLS ! and it's like everybody wants me to get a girlfriend !

Let me not talk to girls in peace ! PLEASE! Ah!

Sometimes their opinions are tempting but still...no.

One decision . Just one . And everybody's making it so difficult .
Am I wrong to not want to fall in love ?!

How difficult can it be not to ?

Joshua keeps asking the same question over and over and over again .

I gave him the obvious look . He should know what I'll say . I finally decided to talk " I told you . I have no bestie " making air quotes " or girlfriend . Not even a girl  , who is just a friend " I pointed out .

" but why ? " he asked punching my shoulder . I shrugged . " or are you shy ? " he said , raising an eyebrow .

Ah ! So many personal questions . I don't feel like telling him why . It might sound weird .

" no...I just don't want to..." My heart suddenly began to beat faster . Deep inside , I do want to make friends .

It's not their fault . I can't blame them for being pretty and beautiful and likeable .

Maybe I should talk to a girl . I mean...what're the chances of falling in love ?

Perhaps I should try .

The thought of that scared me again . It left me with the same answer...no...no girl at all .

" wow " Joshua exclaimed . " what is it , Joshua ? " " nothing " he shook his head . The tense feeling inside was killing me .

Chewing through my sandwich , Joshua tried to convince me .

He's totally wasting his time . My answer is still going to be no .

" look , Peter...there's going to be entertainment ( a party ) tonight . Like it or not , I'm getting you a girl " He assured me .

I scoffed and swallowed . What he said actually made me smile .

Why am I smiling ? Not even happy about it . But it's so funny .

He's gonna get me a girl. " I'm getting you a girl " he says . That ain't happening .

My cheeks stretched as a smile formed up . Just couldn't stop smiling .

" Look at him...he thinks he has convinced me " I laughed at him on the inside as he smiled at me .

I could tell that he felt good about finally going to be able to get me a girl . So many have tried .

My fear of falling in love is far greater than one can imagine .