ABDICATION

chapter 46.

My heartbeat slows down a little when I felt his grip loosening around me. I filled my lungs with need oxygen and my heart began to pump normal again.

"What did you bought?" His question rang in the air while I turn around. Before I could say something her was already shuffling with the things I bought.

I walked to the little lamp beside my bed and light it up. My eyes met his above the lamp.  His eyes shine brighter than the lamp. I took my seat on the bed while he keep standing beside my bed. He had almost chucked all the things down on the bed sheet.

I hold out the yellow turban.

"It's for baba. He likes yellow colour and it really suits him."

Then he lift up the bangles set and adore it a little. "It's for my mother. She love wearing bangles." I smile remembering her passion toward the bangles.

I then noticed him scoot closer to the bed and sat down I front of me. Things spread out between us. I tried not to glance down at his hard planes of his chest. But I surely took a glance down at his locket.

"Is it for you?" He pick up both earring by his fingers.

I nodded a little no and said "these both same pair are for my two best friends." I smile again when I realise I miss them so much.

"Then it is for you?" He pick up the last thing left to see.

The locket. The circle with a star inside.

I hesitated. Should I say yes or should I told the truth?

But why would I lie?

"Actually it's for you." I suddenly felt so shy that I couldn't look up at him. I tuck my hairs behind my ear and look away.

All I hear was silence.

"For me?" He sounds as if he really doubts if he heard correct. I nodded and finally look up.

His eyes had something in them. Something that I could only guess and there will never be a correct answer.

I glance down and the locket and it spin slowly while hanging from his fingers.

Will he accept it? It's just so small gift for a king like him? Why I'm so stupid?

"It's okay if you don't like it." I told him just in case he hesitate to reject my gift.

"What does it mean?" He ask about the symbol.

"Living your life to the fullest. Doing what makes you happy and content." I look up at him to found him glancing down at the locket keenly.

"It's beautiful." He mumbled softly and my heart warm up.

His eyes suddenly shot up and met mine. It look like he suddenly remember something.

He quickly move to the drawer and pick something out. I hear a melodious tinkle.

The silver anklet shine when the lamp light fall on it.

"I thought about you when I saw them." He murmured truthfully. He forward them towards me and when I hold those precious shining anklets in my palm, it felt cold.

"It's beautiful". I was mesmerised only by its side. It was light and thin but it's sound was high yet soft.

We both sat there with our gifts in each other hands.

"Will you wear them now?" His question sound hesitant.

"Only if you will wear mine. " I put my condition, smiling up at him.

I saw his lip lift up in smile but seconds later he got in some deep thoughts.

He looked zoned out. I gave him some time.

It stretched to a point that it worried me.

"You alright? " I finally asked him. He blinked. Rapidly.

Suddenly he got on his feet and walked to the window.

Worried about him, I followed him closely with my anklets in my hand.

"Live your life to the fullest." He laughed

"Do what makes you happy and content." He laughed again. 

Darkly.

Then he turn to me and hold the locket forward.

"I don't think I deserve it. " his eyes betrayed him. His eyes showed something which he is hiding deep inside him.

He look vulnerable.

A sigh left my lips as I step closer to him. I look frantically in his both eyes. To make sure I'm not wrong. I wanted to be wrong. He can't be vulnerable.

Can he?

If I ask him, would he even tell me?

He turned and look away to the moon.

"I want to be a better king." He murmured and I waited for him to add something further because I can feel there is more

"It's a lie I  have been telling myself from my very childhood. " he hold the window edge tighter and I couldn't hold the shock inside me.