Make it Right

I Need You

You and Jean more or less have been acting like a couple in secret from the other cadets for around 3 weeks now. Knowing their reactions would lead to teasing, the both of you were trying to be in your own little world for as long as you could.

The other cadets would tease Jean about Mikasa as everyone knew he had the biggest crush on her but he'd just shrug it off. When the others weren't looking, he'd shoot a wink at you as a form of reassurance he was over her. When Reiner would hit on you, Jean would be glaring bullets behind his head but you knew how to handle Reiner and would graze your hand against Jeans when you'd walk past him.

You'd look forward to the nights when Jean would sneak in your room and fool around but the moments after when you'd just talk about anything and everything were the ones you looked forward to the must. But, you would never admit that to him, and sometimes to yourself.

It made you feel special how you and Marco were the only ones who knew of his cousin, Collin, was in the Scout Regiment, and someone Jean looked up to.

That was why Jean was pulled out of class by Hange, you had a bad feeling. Everyone was aware that the Scouts were out on a mission that week, Jean had told you about how his Collin snuck into their training camp before they left to talk about what they would do when the Titans were gone.

Now seeing Hange's solemn face call out for him, you knew something must have happened.

Collin was eaten, and his body was inside the stomach of an abnormal titan. Jean came back after his meeting with Hange and slumped down in a table alone in the dining hall.

You were tempted to walk up to him and ask how he was but it would bring questions upon your relationship.

The news came to you from Hange as Marco asked about Jean when she entered the dining hall. The rest of the group were surprised to know Jean had a cousin in the regiment, so you had to act surprised as the rest of them.

You haven't spoken to Jean for a whole week. He'd go through training as if on auto-pilot and barely showed his face in the dining hall. Marco said Jean spoke to him for a bit, to say he needed some space so the rest of you left him alone. It was killing you inside not knowing if he was alright, but kept your distance as well.

One night as you were fast asleep, you suddenly felt weight on your bed and a hand pressed on your cheek. Your eyes slowly opened and Jean was hovering over you and gently caressing your face.

"J-Jean?" You whispered and he sighed. "I- I'm sorry I disappeared—"

"No, it's okay...are you alright?" You sat up and caressed his cheek as he closed his eyes. Tears began so stream down his face as you gently wiped them.

Making space for him in your bed, he slipped in next to you and automatically slid his arms around you.

"I'm not alright." He buried his neck against yours and you laced your fingers in his hair. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I just...I just.." he was finding it hard to get the words out of his mouth. You squeezed him tighter, signaling it was okay to say whatever he wanted. "I just...I need you." Your eyes grew wide at his statement, but continued to stroke the back of his head as he let out the remaining tears he had for that night.

It was the first time you and Jean just slept together. Not fooling around, or even making out, just, sleep, and you couldn't help but curse at yourself for slowly falling in love with Jean Kirschtein.