"You're Alone Kokichi, And You Always Will Be" // A Saiouma Angst Story

Chapter 2 - Shuichi's Mistake

WARNING: EXTREME ANGST

Shuichi's POV

My legs felt like jelly as I walked to Kaede's room. My heart was beating faster and faster, I knew I had a crush on her, but I didn't think I'd feel this excited. I knocked on her room before walking in. There she was, she looked healthier than ever. I ran over to her and hugged her as she hugged back. We stayed like that for a while before I pulled away and started telling her all about what happened and how I got out of the killing game.

"I knew you could do it Shuichi." she said with a soft smile. I felt myself blush more, and then I asked
"Would you like me to tell you all what happened during the killing game?" She replied with "Sure, the nurses told us about most of it but I'd like to hear it from your point of vie-" I cut her off "Did they tell you how Kokichi died???" She looked confused and shook her head. I sighed and then started telling her all about what happened.

Kokichi's POV

I miss shumai.. maybe I could go get him a gift to apologize for all of the trouble I caused in the killing game. I slowly got up and looked in the mirror. The nurses had dressed me with a long sleeved plain white shirt with grey sweatpants. This is fine. I thought to myself. I opened up the window of the second story building. jump. I quickly erased that idea from my mind before carefully climbing down. My limbs still hurt like hell from the press, but I ignored it. After all I deserve it for the trouble I caused right?

I made my way to a nearby bakery. I had brought some money from my box back at the hospital. I browsed the displays and came across some fresh chocolate chip cookies. When me and shumai hung out during the killing game he mentioned he liked chocolate chip cookies. Hopefully he likes these ones.

I bought them and put them in a plastic bag, tied with a blue ribbon. I climbed back up into my room window and when I got in I went out into the hallway. Wow, this place is huge.. How will I find Shuichi? I thought to myself, but not long after I saw Kaito walking in the hall, I guess he was waiting for Maki. I went over to him and awkwardly asked him where Shuichi was.

He gave me a glare and shouted, "Why? are you planning to manipulate him like you did with Gonta!?" I looked down, hiding the cookies in my pocket. I glanced back up and noticed him looking at Kaede's room with an expression that gave away where Shuichi was. I walked away from Kaito and soon realized he was already gone, searching for Maki. Before I opened Kaede's door I decided to eavesdrop. I crouched down and took a peak inside. I saw Shuichi and Kaede having a conversation, I could hear what they were talking about.

"Wow, I knew Kokichi was bad.. but for him to manipulate Gonta like that.. not cool." My heart dropped. They were talking about me. Shuichi really does hate me huh.. I looked down at the cookies, frowning before I went back to eavesdropping.
"Ah, Kaede, I know this might not be the time but.. can I tell you something?" Shuichi asked. Kaede nodded.
"Ok.. so I've felt this way during the killing game and I still have these feelings even now." My heart felt like it was slowly and painfully breaking, I already knew what he was going to tell her.

"Kaede.. I.. I l-like you.." No. "I like you too Shuichi.. I'm glad we feel the same way about eachother." NO. "Ah.. so are we.. a thing now??" NO NO NO. "I guess so.." NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THIS ISNT FAIR. My heart shattered into a million pieces as I watched them lean in for a kiss. I closed the door, careful to not make any noise. As I got up from crouching I realized multiple tears falling down my cheeks. I took the cookies out of my pocket and threw them into the trash, hurrying back to my room as my fingernails dug into my other hand.

I slammed the door shut, locking it. I didn't care if 1000 nurses were banging on the door, I wouldn't open it until I wanted to open it. Its my door after all. I took out my boxcutter and continued to cut from where I left off last time. I didn't stop until my forearms were littered with cuts and blood was dripping off of them left and right. I took out a cigarette and lit it, putting it into my mouth and letting smoke pour out of the corners of my lips, damaging my lungs more and more. Soon enough the sadness wore off and I was overcome by numbness. I didn't know what to do so I simply slept until morning.

869 words. I'm so sorry this chapter is written TERRIBLY, I might unpublish it and rewrite it tomorrow.