An Innocent Spark [Zukka]

Chapter 51: Just Another Day

The cold air skimmed over Sokka's buzzed hair. Gone was the wolf-tail he had worn for his entire life, replaced with a blank canvas. The sun rose above the ocean frozen by the winter vortex falling over the south pole.

There was an emptiness to him that his dad, Katara and Aang were all concerned about. He had tried going on dates with a few girls from the north who had relocated to the southern water tribe, but he could never commit himself to them.

At first his dad was glad he had come back home. He was even happy that Sokka had gone on a few dates with girls again, but after six months of being home his dad had become tired of how hollow and unhappy he was.

He had moved out of his house with Katara and taken up living in a small cabin near the edge of the town, which had grown considerably in the months he had been gone. The southern water tribe was prospering once again, but even seeing his people thrive couldn't shake the emptiness he felt.

Sokka hated feeling the way he was feeling. He hated the fact that he couldn't connect with any girls when before all he would think about were the gorgeous girls he would pass by in the street.

He hated that he still thought about Zuko every day despite his best efforts to block him out. He thought it would be easy cutting Zuko out of his life, that the distance and lack of contact would make him forget what they had together, but if anything, it only made him think about it more.

While the rising sun reminded him of the life he was wasting, he found the night even more unbearable. He had taken up closing the blinds at night because he couldn't look at the moon. Yue would tell him he was being an idiot, that she wouldn't want him to block Zuko out of his life just because he was afraid of what others thought of them.

Yet it was so much more than just a fear of the judgement they would get from people once they eventually found out about their relationship. Sokka cared so much about the angry firebender, and as they spent more time together it became clearer that Zuko's future was being taken away by him.

Sokka could never provide what Zuko needed most in his life. He needed someone who could carry on his family line, someone who was from the Fire Nation and would be accepted with open arms by his people, someone who just wasn't him. As much as he cared about Zuko, he did not want to live a life feeling like a deadweight holding the man he loved back.

There was also the southern water tribe he had to think about too. They were just as much his family as Katara or his dad and leaving them behind to live the rest of his life in the Fire Nation was selfish of him.

They were relying on the son of the chief of their tribe to be ready to take up the mantel when his dad could no longer do so, and they deserved to have a leader who wouldn't abandon them for person reasons.

No matter how he tried to rationalize his decision he still felt like a failure to everyone. His family thought of him as a coward, Zuko probably hated him for abandoning him after all they had gone through together, and even Suki refused to talk to him after what had happened.

As the sun continued to rise, he wondered what Zuko was doing hundreds of miles away. He wondered if he had gotten back together with Mai. He wondered if he had found another girl or even another guy. As much as it would hurt to know Zuko had moved on, he had no right to blame him when he was the reason they weren't together anymore.

In his heart he knew he had made a terrible choice, and as time went on his mind was succumbing to the truth too. He could only fight it for so long before it tore him apart, but something in him told him it was too late to prevent it.