The Pearl Of Great Price

Chapter 45: Behavior

The night before Charles departed for the north, Mary had a few things to say to him. He was sitting behind his desk when she found him. She entered his study and stood before him with her hands clasped. Her voice is strong and sincere. "Charles I feel it would aid your cause if I were to write a letter, as the Princess of Wales and Suffolk— as the King's daughter." 

He grew a little relieved at that because her words very well could be the thing that clinches the negotiations. His mouth opened to speak, but she cut him off and told him something else. Something he was not prepared for. It cut him to the quick and hit him in the heart.

"I could do that, Charles, but I'm not going to. I've been thinking about this and pondering over it for many days now. You see the thing is, I may be the Princess of Wales and Suffolk, but you're the Prince. Whether you feel it or not, whether you want it or not, whether you're capable or not— You are a Prince of England." She came to sit on his desk instead of standing, and she wasn't finished talking. There are still many things to say about this and he needs to hear them.

This is where she stopped looking at her hands but looked him in the eyes. "The thing about being a Prince or King, and even a Princess or Queen, is you can be born into the position like I was. But even so, a Prince isn't born, he's made. A person doesn't automatically know how to rule or how to reign as a sovereign. It takes a lot of effort, a lot of mistakes, a lot of learning from those mistakes, a lot of listening, a lot of forward-thinking, and a lot of trust from your people." 

Taking his right hand in her own, she explained "Take my father for example. He was the second son of the King. He wasn't born to be King only a prince, the position of a duke. He wasn't trained in the ways his brother was. But then the Lord gives and takes away, and he became the King. So he had to learn everything. Through his reign as Sovereign, he's done a lot of good for the country but he's also made a lot of mistakes too. Some he's learned from and some he hasn't— like now in the North. He wasn't born a King. He was made a King."

She placed a kiss on his knuckles, then turned it over and kissed his palm. "Charles, you may not have been born a Duke or a Prince. But as I said, the Lord gives and takes away. You're a Prince now and there's a lot of good that you alone can do with the position you've been given. This uprising in the North is just one way of showing the people you can be a good ruler. Our people in Wales and Suffolk know this, so let the rest of the kingdom know it too."

Sliding off the desk, she came to sit on his lap. Her hands raked through his hair, moving it to the side. His eyes closed at her ministrations. "I have a little more to say, then I'll be quiet. You've got to have faith. Take the first step even though you may not see the whole staircase. And don't be afraid of making big moves. While a lot of Princes and Kings look for what they can take, a true Sovereign looks for what they can give back. Remember that. I believe in you and so did my mother. Now believe in yourself." She wiped a few fallen tears from his eyes.

Having inhaled her sweet scent, he took his head up from her neck. His arms tightened their grip on her. "I am much more confident and competent with my sword and my shield than I am with my voice. I've been in the background playing the irresponsible friend and acting foolishly. I was OK with that. It's comfortable and what I know, but it's only a small part of me. Now that I'm a Prince all of my beliefs are called into question. Who I am is called into question. I'm not in the background anymore, not really." 

He's not sure how he feels about that. It's one thing to be the center of attention for being "fun" or silly, it's entirely another for being a possible King of England. "It's scary, Mary," he admitted.

She kissed his forehead. "I know it is. But it doesn't matter how talented you are, how big your dreams are, or what you do or do not stand for. If you don't believe in yourself, then no one else will. Great things happen when you stop listening to everything you think you can't do. You have infinite potential and the power to change." After kissing his lips, she got up and left him there to help the servants finish up his packing.