Your Never Fading Smile

Chapter 14

Trigger Warning : Mentions of a suicide attempt will be included.
______________________________________

I walked outside and took a long and deep breath. The memories from yesterday still on my mind. Not long after I got outside, the door opened once again revealing my brother who held a disgusted face. I tightened my fists and did everything I could in order to ignore him.

I walked away.

I walked away from the restaurant and made my way towards the beach. Once I arrived, I stood at the seashore watching the waves. The dark blue sea mirroring the bright silver moon. The cold wind slowly making my body numb. I hope the guys can forgive me for leaving like that... I thought to myself as soon enough, I heard footsteps slowly approaching me and to my displeasure, it was the very specific person I wanted to avoid.

"What's with the long face Liam? What? Don't tell me now you are scared to even look at me. I'm quite hurt." I gulped and finally decided to look at him in the eyes. His smirk never fading. "I thought you didn't wanted to see me ever again. What's the point talking to me anyways." I replied coldly and he in return gave me a glare.

"Wasn't you the one that begged me again and again to stay?! Wasn't you the one who always cried on my feet?! What happened now?! Why don't you do the same thing all over again?!" He grabbed me from my neck making it sightly difficult for me to breath. After a few seconds he let go dropping me roughly to the ground. "You truly are pathetic..." I got up from the ground. My head low. Oliver stood there watching my every move. A few drops of tears were shed from my eyes.

"You are right... I am pathetic. I hate myself. I hate my epilepsy, the anxiety and the fear I might collapse at any moment. I... I really really really want to know the reason behind your hatred. I may be oblivious. I may be stupid. So I truly don't understand why you hate me so much. I hope that you could at least do that small favor for me. But I guess you won't." At this point, I started walking backwards closer to the sea. The water already reaching my knees.

"But one thing is for sure..." "Wait... Liam... What are you doing?" "You'll be much more happy if I was gone." With that, I showed him a final smile and fallen deeper into the sea as I saw my brother with the most horrified expression I had ever seen. I guess he cares for me even a little... I'm happy...

"Liam!!!" That voice...

I couldn't see clearly, but someone had come and pulled me out of the water. I coughed trying to catch my breath as I finally saw the person who pulled me out of the cold waters. My eyes widened to see Noah as he held me in a tight embrace warping his coat around me. My body trembling as I was freezing to death. Why is he here...?

"You idiot! What the hell were you thinking!" I heard Oliver yell and I was surprised to see him with tears in his eyes. "Did you seriously tried to commit suicide?!" Yelled my brother coming closer but Noah only held me tighter. "Stay away from him!" Noah... "Who the hell are you?! Just get the hell out of here!" "How dare you... How dare you treat your own brother like that?! What has he ever done to you?!" Yelled back Noah as Oliver gritted his teeth.

"You know nothing!" "I don't but that doesn't justify your words and actions!" "...You heard everything?" I mumbled and then Noah hugged me closer, burying his face into my shoulder. "You are selfish Liam... You are very selfish... How could you do something like that... You didn't even thought about your friends... About me..." Spoke Noah with a trembling, filled with sorrow voice. Before I knew it I started crying. What in the world was I even thinking...

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry Noah. A thousand apologies is not enough." I cried as for the first time I had realized how important he is in my life. He was the first one to reach out to me. The first one to accept me for who I am and the first one to ever like me. "Just... Just don't be so selfish... Think about the people who actually care about you. Unlike that sorry excuse of a brother you have." He began softly and then he gave a final glare towards Oliver.

"I..." "Don't say anything. You should stay away from Liam until he decides to talk to you once he is ready. By then, you should have thought about what you have done. A simple sorry won't be enough." After what Noah said, Oliver walked away.

"Just... Let me stay like this for a moment. Let me be selfish for a while..." "Noah..." Despite the cold, despite that I was trembling, I still felt warm. "Thank you..."

~~~

"What happened to you two?!" Questioned Kevin in disbelief. "Did you two go for a swim or something?" Said also Alex and Kevin facepalmed himself. We had walked back to the restaurant in order for Noah to pay for our meals, since we both left in a hurry and finally give the others some kind of an explanation. "I'm sorry guys but Liam isn't feeling well. I'll be taking him home." Said Noah as I warped his coat tighter around me. Despite my words, he still insisted to give me his coat for a temporarily warmth.

"We'll be leaving now." Began Noah but he was immediately stopped by Jason as he looked at both him and me with worried eyes. "Hey, I know that something happened. If you can't say it now that's fine but you should at least tell me someday." "It's a promise." I smiled weakly at him and after that, me and Noah walked once again outside of the restaurant.

"Liam, my phone is inside my right pocket, could you grab it for me?" "Just a sec." I said as I took the phone and gave it to him. "Thank you." He smiled while calling someone. Once he hang up, he turned and faced me with a smile. I gazed at him curiously and not even five minutes or so, a black car stopped right in front of us. A man in a black suit got out of the car and opened the doors for us. I looked at Noah and he motioned for me to enter. I hesitantly did as I was told and sat in the back sit with Noah sitting beside me.

"Take us home." "Yes young master." ...Young master? And wait, take us home? "Aren't you gonna take me to my house?" "Do you want your family to see you like this?" He's right... I wouldn't want my mother to worry so much about me... I wouldn't want her to know what happened today... "I understand but what about your family?" "Don't worry about it. I live alone." He smiled and for some reason I felt anxious. Does that mean it would be only me and him? But why...? Why do I feel so anxious? I placed my hands over my face and internally screamed.

Why do I suddenly feel so self-conscious of him?!