dsmp songshots

my life

𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗/ 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘:
[dissasociation/derealisation, drugs, medication, suicidal thoughts, implied abuse]

𝖓𝖔𝖜 𝖕𝖑𝖆𝖞𝖎𝖓𝖌:
my life - imagine dragons
⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

♩✧･ﾟ♬✧･ﾟ♪: *✧♩･ﾟ:*

he stares blankly at the clock on the bedside cabinet, his hands folded together in his lap as he watches the numbers tick by, minute after minute.

tick. tick. tick.

the brunette shifts his attention to the floor, looking at where his socked feet sit unmovingly. he moves his toes, trying to pay attention to the feeling of the hardwood beneath him.

his chest feels heavy with every uneven breath.

he stands up quietly, hearing the floor beneath him creak, and his mind goes airy, an unfamiliar haze pulling down over the edges of his mind as he blinks heavily into the dark room.

without much mental processing, he makes his way out of the bedroom, not a single thought for his partner still sound asleep in their bed.

he makes his way out into the hallway, looking both ways as he expects to see someone there.

the brunette stays in the doorway for a moment, waiting patiently for someone to come and collect him, to lead him down to the dining room for meal time- but no one comes.

he shakes his head, trying to dismiss the thoughts as he blinks heavily, reminding himself of who he is, where he is. he looks down the hall again, taking in all the features that are different to his old family home: the lack of family photos, the carpeted floor, the uneven number of doorways.

with the reminder of his freedom, he steps out of the bedroom, the floor going soft below him. he makes his way down the hallway to the window, glancing out.

the moon is out, as are the stars, and he questions if they're the same flecks of light he wished on all those years ago.

he's not educated on the lifespan of stars, so he can't be sure.

glancing back towards the rest of the apartment, he notices how quiet it is, not a single sound to be heard in the large space, and he wonders where everyone has gone.

weren't his friends just over? for his birthday?

the brunette looks back at the stars, flinching in shock when he catches sight of his own reflection in the glass.

right, he's older now.

his gaze dances over his features, taking in each one. the boy's left hand comes up to his face, brushing gently over his cheek, down his chin. he scratches at the hair there, feeling how rough it is against his skin. his fingertips feel oversensitive and he quickly pulls them away, a shiver wracking through him.

the look of his beard unsettles him deeply at that moment, so he turns away again, heading back down the hallway.

the floor feels almost shaky beneath him, unsteady and dangerous, and he instinctively reaches his hands out to grab at the rope railing on either side of him, surprised when his hands fall freely through the air and back to his sides.