DEMONIC AFFECTION [ᴊᴏɴᴀᴛʜᴀɴ ᴍᴏʀɢᴇɴsᴛᴇʀɴ]

RIVER

"ʜᴏʟʏ ʜᴀɴᴅs, ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀ sɪɴɴᴇʀ?
ᴄʜᴏᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs ʟᴏᴠᴇ 'ᴛɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠᴇɪɴs sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏ sʜɪᴠᴇʀ
ᴏɴᴇ ʟᴀsᴛ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜ 'ᴛɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇᴀʀs sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜᴇʀ
ᴄᴜʀsᴇᴅ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ғᴏᴏʟ ᴡʜᴏ's ᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ
ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ
ᴏɴᴇ ᴋɪss ᴀᴡᴀʏ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴋɪʟʟɪɴɢ𝑠".

- 𝐵𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑝 𝐵𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑔𝑠

"𝐶𝑎𝑛 𝑤𝑒 𝑎𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑒?"
"𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑦".

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟔

After looking through the entire Institute for the blonde Shadowhunter, Amelia was sure that either her prayers had been answered or her worst nightmare had come true. Either Sebastian had made a run for it and was out of their hair for good, or he was finally taking his evil masterplan to the next level. Whichever it was, she couldn't find him and was almost ready to call it in, when she heard two familiar voices. Her first reaction to seeing him sit with Clary in the greenhouses was surprise, but she immediately scolded herself for it. No one said that his interactions would be reduced to the ones with herself.
"We are trained so fiercely to believe that emotions cloud our judgement, but I believe that emotions give us power", he tried to persuade Clary and Amelia's lips curved into a grin upon hearing this. At least she wasn't the only one who received therapy lessons from him — must be him then, not her.
He and Clary kept discussing why her runes might have stopped working; Sebastian suggesting it was because Clary suppressed her feelings towards Jace not being her brother.

Amelia had to admit it was a hot take. She had been wondering herself why Clary's runes suddenly stopped working and while hearing Sebastian's inside was interesting, she felt horribly wrong for spying on them like a creep but she didn't want to interrupt their talk either.
Therefore she stayed in place, desperately trying to find some interest in the admittedly very ugly plant next to her, until Clary had left the greenhouse and she coughed slightly to attract his attention.
"Emotions give us power?", she repeated his words with a mocking tone but instead of being offended, he studied her face with a small smile.
"You don't agree?" His voice was soft, so she tried to refrain from any further mockery. Yet she didn't have to think for a second about her answer.
"Not really. Emotions do cloud our judgement. They make you stupid. And stupid gets you killed", she explained dryly and Sebastian chuckled at her conclusion.
"If you think so. What drives you then?".
"I don't know", she shrugged dismissively and the Shadowhunter immediately recognised his mistake.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry".
"No, it's just-". She stopped to think for a moment — to think about what exactly it was that got her risking her life on a daily basis.
"Success", she answered curtly with a determination that left no doubt at her conviction. "I want to win".
Sebastian studied her face, trying to figure why this appealed so much to him. Perhaps they were a lot more similar than assumed. The need to earn others' respect, to be the best — he knew that from himself.
"You can't control what you feel, only how you act on it. Determination can get you somewhere emotions can't", Amelia continued, interrupting Sebastian's trail of thought.
"You know that goes the other way too", he pointed out. "Emotions can influence us in such way pure willpower never could". He had been taught from a young age to endure the worst of feelings — pain, anger, disappointment. Valentine had taught him to control his emotions, to contain them. And yet Sebastian had learned something from this that Valentine never meant to teach. He learned to savor his anger, to embrace the pain, to welcome his disappointment. It was something he learned in Edom. Emotions could be used, if one knew how to weaponise them. Yet Amelia didn't know that or perhaps she did and that was the very reason she was so against indulging in feelings.
Either way, she didn't have the intention of changing her mind anytime soon.
"Can we agree to disagree?", she suggested in a surprisingly positive tone.
"That seems to be our specialty", Sebastian remarked amusedly.

She agreed to meet with him in half an hour in the main hall to go over any demon attacks that might come their way. 
Since she had nothing better to do — and it was her task anyways — she decided to get a head start already and made her way to the conference room.

Just when she arrived there, glad to see a familiar face, she suddenly wasn't so glad anymore when she saw the distress in Alec's face. He was rushing past her with his bow and arrow readied.
"Get Clary, quickly! Valentine has Jace and Magnus", he shouted on his way, worry deeply routed in his voice. Amelia didn't hesitate for a second and ran after Clary.

After they met Valentine's demands and Jace, Magnus and the man himself were in the warlock's apartment, that's where the rescue squad met.
"I don't know why you felt the need to bring him here", Alec muttered and Amelia scoffed in agreement. She wasn't exactly sure as well why the red-head brought Sebastian with her.
"We need all the help we can get", Clary defended her decision and almost collided with Magnus' walls, had it not been for Alec to hold her back.
"You said Valentine wouldn't have this kind of power".
"Yeah, as always, he defies expectations", Sebastian muttered, what sounded a bit too much like a compliment to Amelia.

"Look, we're gonna need you". All eyes were on Clary as she tried to make her runes work, yet the moment she finished the symbol, it crumbled away. Amelia pursed her lips, knowing that the red-head would not be able to make it work. They needed to find another way in soon. She exchanged a strained look with Alec, who seemed to share her thoughts, yet Sebastian was convinced Clary could do it.
"Sebastian, your faith in others is truly inspiring but we're gonna have to find another way in soon", she hurried while Alec started looking around already. The blonde Shadowhunter seemed to have gotten the message as he stepped closer to Clary and insistently talked to her.
"Tell me what it feels like to have your entire family ripped away from you". Amelia's eyes widened in surprise and confusion. She definitely didn't expect this and yet the sudden change of demeanour intrigued her.
"What?".
"That's enough", Alec growled wanting to shove Sebastian away from Clary but Amelia intervened. With one hand she blocked him silently, eyes fixated on Sebastian, who firstly eyed Amelia and then Alec. With another gaze to her hand, he silently thanked her and faced Clary again.

"Your mother's never coming back. Jace is not your brother. You feel like you're all alone in this world don't you?".
"Stop it", Clary sobbed but Sebastian had no intention of stopping.
"No Clary, feel it! Your father will never love you. The only reason he wanted you, was to use you."
"Sebastian this isn't working", Alec intervened again whilst Amelia could only watch the scenery in front of her. Maybe she should've said something, make him stop, feel bad for Clary — but somehow she couldn't. She felt numb and mesmerised all together. Mesmerised by Sebastian's burst out of character, how deeply he seemed to understand Clary's pain. Numbed by how she felt her own pain arise like a dark tenacious cloud.
"You wanted a brother so badly because then at least you'd have someone to share in the pain".
"Stop it!".
"I can't stop it, Clary. That empty feeling that eats away at your soul that makes you want to die? Day after day, after day. It never stops".

He was talking to Clary and yet Amelia felt like an arrow hit her right in her heart. She pressed her lips together to contain the heavy sob that was making his way up her throat. The dark cloud had turned into a raging hurricane, ready to consume her after all those years it had been cultivated and fed with fear, pain, loneliness and anger.

"Now take that pain and use it". Amelia quickly blinked away a tear as Clary, who had tears streaming down her face now, started another attempt at bringing down the walls. This wasn't the time for hysteric outbreaks, Amelia knew that. Emotions cloud the judgement. She had told Sebastian earlier that she believed in their saying and over the years, she had gotten so good at living after it that she sometimes wasn't even sure if she could truly feel with all her heart anymore. No reason to stop now.

Yet something about Sebastian's philosophy must be true, because this time, the golden rune didn't disappear, but rather started to glow. Alec and Amelia exchanged another look of what could be described as cautious hopefulness. With a hissing sound, the walls vanished and the four Shadowhunters stormed into the room, first of all Clary.
Valentine was just stumbling away from Magnus towards his portal as Clary pulled him with her through to the Institute, as Amelia hoped. Or straight to hell...

After making sure that Magnus was okay, she asked where Jace was and the warlock pointed at a door. Amelia opened it and found Jace passed out on the floor, yet it was nothing an iratze couldn't fix.
Amelia was glad they were able to save the day, but it had been a lot closer than she would've liked. Maybe next time they wouldn't be so lucky...

Only a short (and kind of crappy) chapter this time because my motivation is down and I'm wondering why I'm writing this book at all. I guess every author knows the struggle when no one reads what you write, but yeah it's a struggle.
Hope you're all well and at least someone enjoys this.
I'll spare you the 'please like and comment' this time. (See what I did there ◡̈ )