Still A_Stray: Living With Stray Kids (ot8 fanfic)

Chapter 20

Sunday~

Started from the bottom, I, made it mine, saw the light, I felt divine

The next day, I was woken by Changbin and the sounds of the other members rising through the dorm's thin walls. Thankfully, he'd given me enough time to shower and dress before we were due to leave, so I wouldn't feel like I was holding anyone up.

The other members weren't showering, but I ended up being one of the first ones ready. I had the suspicion we were all going to be waiting on Chan—he moved the slowest in the mornings after he'd pulled all-nighters.

Because of this, I stopped by his room, but it was empty. The burst of surprise I felt was quickly drowned out by realization. There was only one other place he could be.

I crossed the hall and opened the door without waiting to knock or see who was inside. "Did you even make it to your room last night?"

Chan blinked up at me, quickly straightening from the slouch he'd been in in his chair in the studio room. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

I crossed my arms at him with a frown, watching him fiddle with the speakers around his desk. "The other dorm is arriving in a few minutes. Are you really still working on the track?"

Chan mumbled something I couldn't make out, his nose buried in whatever the hell he was messing around with.

I squinted at him, taking in the circles under his eyes and his sloppy incoordination. "Chan, how much did you sleep last night?"

Chan continued fumbling with the speakers. "Enough."

"Chan."

"Yes?"

I waited until he looked up. Chan sighed at my expression. "Enough, noona."

"How much is enough?"

He looked away. "Twenty minutes."

"Chan."

"Hey, usually it's less. And I'm fine. You're not even that blurry right now." He stepped backwards at my reaction. "Kidding."

I sighed in exasperation, fiddling with the edge of my blouse. It was pale gray with dark trim, one of my favorites, but short enough that the hem kept brushing against my side, and thin enough that my wet hair was soaking through it and making me shiver. "Chan—"

"I know, I know," he said, actually looking at me now instead of dodging my questions. "I made a promise to them. And I intend to uphold it, I do." His gaze caught mine, his eyes fierce enough I felt the urge to look away. "You know I hate to see them hurt, especially by me. I won't mess this up again."

"You hurt them when you hurt yourself," I said gently, because I knew he wouldn't listen to anyone else right now—certainly not the members. He needed someone on the outside to get through to him, and I would gladly be that person.

Chan's eyes shuttered. I reached out and touched his shoulder, wishing I could find better words. But for now, that gesture was enough, because Chan blew out a long breath and said, "I know I'm overworking myself again, but if I don't, then JYP might—" he stopped abruptly, breathing hard.

My hand stilled. "Might what?" My mind spiraled, down, down, down into every worst possibility. My fingers were like ice now, glued to his shoulder—

"It's nothing." Warm fingers covered my own. Chan looked up at me, a tight smile stretched over his mouth, though the warmth in his eyes was real. He dropped his hand, but I kept my own on his shoulder.

"JYP ... he's been pressuring me more and more recently." Chan looked away, his smile fading as quickly as it came. "Apparently our comebacks aren't getting enough attention as they could be. He's told me countless times how high his hopes are for Stray Kids, and I've been getting the feeling more and more that we're disappointing him.