Still A_Stray: Living With Stray Kids (ot8 fanfic)

Chapter 41

I know it's gon' be lonely, 'cause everyone keeps turning me down

For a single second, there was utter silence. Time had grown cold and frozen over, and I could revel in that last moment before everything crashed down into ruin.

And then it was over, and a thousand words rushed to my lips and died on my tongue.

You can't.

But why?

It isn't fair.

You can't.

It isn't—

"I will give you all privacy."

JYP. That was JYP's voice. And the creak of the chair as it was pushed back, the three pairs of footsteps heading towards the door—those were his as well, unfamiliar sounds and noises that didn't belong in this dorm, this home.

The sound of him leaving found my ears, but the words he'd said and the devastation he'd wrecked did not go with him.

Come back, I wanted to scream. You can't leave those words here, rotting in our air like a putrid smell.

But he was gone, and he'd left them to crumble.

Them. Stray Kids. The members.

Chan.

Changbin.

Darkness folded around my vision, bringing me to another place, another room, another time. Changbin's voice, cracking with desperation, scratchy over the phone. Telling me of his worst fear that was threatening to become reality.

His worst fear that was becoming a reality right now, right before his eyes and mine.

I blinked, and blinked again, until the shadows cleared from my vision like cobweb memories. I was sitting on the chair, just like I had been before. JYP must have just left.

I stood, shakily, turning towards the members, towards my brother. "Bin...?"

He met my eyes, and I knew the last ten minutes had been real as the anguish written plainly on his face slid a thick blade up between my ribs, cutting off my breath.

"Bin," I whispered, and then he was reaching for me, and I tucked his head against my shoulder like when we were children and he wouldn't stop crying and I didn't know what else to do. He was broken softness and fragile memories and living nightmares in my arms and I clung to him like he was the last thing in the world, because however much this was hurting me, it was hurting him a thousand times worse.

My voice broke the silence over the members, and though my eyes were squeezed shut, I heard Jeongin say Chan's name, his voice small.

"I'm sorry," Chan said, and it sounded wrong again, his voice—like the wall behind his eyes had been demolished, but when he spoke he kept tripping over the rubble, trying to piece it back together and offer comfort at the same time.

Changbin let go of me slightly, and I pulled back, looking to the others. Their faces were all ashen, shards of ice.

"It'll be okay," Chan said, putting his arm over Jeongin's shoulders. The maknae fell into him, his breathing loud and unsteady. "It'll all be okay."

I wondered if even he could hear the hollowness of his words.

-

Two hours.

That's how long it had been since the world had forever tilted off-balance. I only knew the time because I'd checked my watch sometime when JYP had been at the dorm.