Still A_Stray: Living With Stray Kids (ot8 fanfic)

Chapter 30

It's all good now

Jeongin and I spent the rest of the evening eating ramyun and watching K-dramas on his bed. He'd eyed the noodles wearily at first, admitting that the reason he'd skipped meals in the morning and night was because he wanted his body to look good for their comeback, and I'd swatted him over the head and told him that comebacks could fuck themselves and at this rate his body would look unhealthy and half-starved, which was equally as bad for the cameras. We'd compromised on making it healthy by adding actual beef—instead of just the flavoring—and extra gochujang. "Of course it's healthy," I'd told him, dumping the red paste into the bowl. "It has chili powder, which comes from chilis, which are vegetables. It's basically a salad."

Jeongin had eyed me dubiously, but wolfed the food down all the same. Afterwards, we agreed to watch one episode of Extraordinary Attorney Woo, and then have me drive Jeongin back to the dance studio to keep practicing. However, we were only fifteen minutes in when I heard the door slam.

I winced, feeling like I had been in a tiny bubble of a world for the past hour, one confined to the small space of Jeongin's bed and the wafting smell of hot ramyun—a newfound world that was now being shattered. But the kinship I'd begun to feel with Jeongin was still there when his eyes flitted to mine, and I was grateful for that. It meant I didn't have to regret this night, even though guilt spiked through me now at the memory of the last time I'd interacted with Chan and the members.

Oh, well. Face your fears. I stood, silently asking Jeongin to stay. He nodded, watching me leave.

It was just Minho, Felix and Seungmin in the dorm, however, and I realized I had been foolish to expect everyone; of course Chan and the others would have gone back to their own dorm. A sheepish feeling of relief flooded through me at that, because it meant I wouldn't have to face Chan until later.

"We decided to end the practice early," Minho said to me, slipping off his shoes. He helped Seungmin take off his jacket, hanging it up, conveniently not meeting my gaze.

I cleared my throat. "Ah. Okay."

Minho finally straightened, turning to look at me as Felix and Seungmin wordlessly filed past me into their own rooms. I knew he was exhausted—they all were—but somehow, tiredness framed Minho's face in elegant angles, accentuating the depth of his eyes and the shadow of his hair over his brow. He looked like a blurred photo brought into clarity, every line standing out.

"Yeji." He held my gaze, and I knew he wouldn't be the first one to speak here.

I lifted my chin. "I'm sorry I caused a scene in front of the members. It wasn't my intention to make it me against you all, but I did. I ... I should've trusted you and Chan more to do the right thing. Trusted Jeongin more."

Minho dipped his chin wearily. "Thank you for your apology. But, Yeji, you know I'm not the person you should be talking to."

I nodded, chewing on my lip. "I know."

His gaze held mine for a beat longer before he said, gentler this time, "Take the extra room here, for tonight. We're all exhausted; things will have settled down in the morning."

My shoulders loosened. "Thank you, Minho."

He paused, a foot away from the door to his room, and turned back to me. "I don't think you should've said everything you said, but I don't blame you for it. I would follow Channie-hyung to the edge of the earth; that doesn't mean he always makes the best decisions. It's good for him to be challenged every now and then."

"But it wasn't my place to do that," I said quietly, not wanting Minho's words to ease any of my guilt—I knew it was deserved. "I overstepped. I'm not—I'm not one of you."