TWs, sex jokes, sexist / misogynistic jokes
2 days until the party.
"What's the dress code?"
"I don't fucking know."
"God, shut up. I'm texting Bebe to ask."
It's currently thursday, and we're all skipping school again. Me, Stan, Cartman and Kenny are all going in to town, browsing for clothes to wear to the party.
"How much money did you guys bring?" Stan speaks up, almost tripping over a step as he looks at his phone.
"My mom gave me $200, I'm sold!" Cartman boasts, a grin on his face.
Kenny rolls his eyes. "How many people did she suck off for that money?"
"Ey! Shut it, cheapskate! You're just mad because the only money you ever get is from either Kahl and Stan, or the chainsmokers in the alley behind Raisins!"
"I have... $50." I say, rummaging through my wallet. "Wait, no. $51."
"Poor-ass!" the fat boy exclaims.
Stan scoffs. "Shut up, porky. Anyways, I have $150." he announces, before passing Kenny a $50 bill.
"Thanks father Marsh." the blonde smiles, taking the bill with a genuine smile on his face.
"You're welcome, son." Stan responds, ruffling Kennys hair, slightly nudging his earmuffs in the progress.
"Is Kahl the mom?" Cartman interrupts, pushing me against Stan.
"I'm not the mom, no." I reply, dead-eyeing the brunette.
Stans phone dings, as he pulls it out of his pocket. "Oh, Bebe replied."
"Shut up, Stan." fatass says, poking Stans arm. "You're making your housewife jealous, go make out with him."
"Shut up fatass, I'm not his wife." I snap at him, glaring.
"Shut it dishwasher." Cartman responds, clearing his throat before stepping between Kenny and I.
"That's sexist."
"You don't have rights, shut up."
I roll my eyes in annoyance, turning to the noirette. "What did she say?"
"No dress code. So just casual shit." Stan tells me, shrugging.
"Oh, okay." I turn back to the others, seeing Cartman and Kenny squabbling over whatever.
"No, Kinny! You pay them first, or else they wont do it!" the fat boy practically yells, earning some glances from strangers passing by.
"But then she'll take the money and run. You can't get a BJ if she runs off with your allowance." Kenny tells him, earning an "Ohh" from Cartman.
"Oh my god... you're right! Is that why I'm not payed upfront?" the brunette asks.
"We're here." Stan says, pointing to the entrance of the large shopping district.
"Woah... It's bigger than Cartman's mom's tits!" Kenny exclaims, looking at the large mall in awe.
"Yeah!" Cartman agrees, before pausing. "Wait. Ey! Shut up about my mom!"
"Shut up and walk inside." I scoff, pushing past them into the building.
"Whatever, stupid jew."
When we walk inside, I look around in amazement at the large shopping mall.
The lights are luminous and bright, casting small shadows into stark corners. The walls are lined with shops of every colour and variety, filled to the brim with people of all ages. The main entrance is lined with artificial trees leading down the centre of the vast hallway, with benches on either side, claimed by some elderly and some youth.
YOU ARE READING
Cravings (STYLE)
Fanfiction(Stan x Kyle) vampire AU. When both death reports and missing peoples cases start rising in South Park, suspicions are spreading like disease, and rumours are the number one talk. But what happens if someone new joins the class, someone who could ha...
