Toxic (Cartman x male reader)

Chapter 4 - Friday night (no funkin)

Your POV:

It was Friday night. It was peaceful except Elenor next door was talking to her friend on the phone very loudly. I was laying on my bed watching American Horror Story murder house.

Mom opened my door. "Y/N your father and I aren't gonna be here for around 2 or 3 weeks because we're visiting Florida for your father's mother's birthday. If you decide to go with us, Elenor is going too and our neighbor will watch over C/N. (Cat's name)

I looked at her with my usual expressionless face except a little bit of happiness on the inside. "I'll stay here." I responded.

"Okay. We're packing up tomorrow and leaving on Sunday." She said and closed the door.

I decided to text Eric.

You: Yo Eric

Kickass: What

You: My parents are flying to Nevada on Sunday so they won't be there for 2 or 3 weeks

Kickass: Kewl can u invite me 🥺

You: That's kinda gay man why do u have to put a "🥺"

Kickass: Because I did and I told you multiple times that I'm no homo now stfu 😾

You: fine fine

Kickass: 😈

You: Ok

Kickass: Invite me.

You: sure

Kickass: YAYYYYYYYY

*sigh* Eric, Eric, Eric... You aggressive shithead. I do love you as a friend but you're mean as fuck.

No stfu I don't have feelings for him ewww I swear to god..

I hope I don't.

Anyways, my phone was 30% so I got my charger and plugged my phone. I took a sip of my (drink) that I got from McDonald's. Eric loves McDonald's and KFC by the way.

Cartman POV:

Honestly I'm excited to be invited to Y/N's house almost everyday when his parents are out. To be honest here, his little sis Elenor is a midget brat LOL!

My mom opened my door. "Eric sweetie, it's late at night. You should be at bed now."

"But meeehhhm!! I'm not sleepy yet and I have plans with Y/N tomorrow!!!" I complained. She sighed. "Fine." She closed the door.

I got out my phone and decided to watch some Nazi shit.

Es Macht so süchtig.

*SpongeBob narrator voice*
A few minutes later...

I'm bored as hell so ima call Y/N.

Your POV:

I decided to go shower because I hadn't yet. I left my phone in my room and went to the bathroom. I stripped my clothing off and hopped in. Turned on the shower but the water was cold at first. That's what sucks about showering.

I turned the handle on the hot side so the water can chill. As it warms up, I finally hopped in warming my cold body.

Ahh, so relaxing. After getting all wet, I put on some shampoo and scratched it to my scalp. I then rinsed. My h/l (hair length) hair was soaked in water.

But then a few moments later, I heard a knock on my door. "I'm showering!!" I called.

"Y/N, KICKASS IS CALLING YOU!!" Elenor yelled through the door. "I'll call him later now leave!" I responded. Damn did you really have to blow away my sweet time like that?

"Why don't you talk to your boyfriend~" she sang. I cringed so hard since she knows Eric's name on my contacts...

"WHAT THE HELL!?" I called. "Talk to him! Talk to him!" Elenor repeated. "Shut up I'm showering and he's not my boyfriend!!" I yelled. But then it got worse sooner than soon.

As I was rinsing the soap off my body, I heard Elenor. Talking to Eric. And saying weird and embarrassing shit to him. On my phone.

I got mad so I turned the shower off, quickly wiped myself and wrapped the towel around my waist.

Narrator POV:

"You like him fatty! You like him and you want him to BANG YOU!" Elenor said to Cartman on your phone.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP MIDGET BRAT I'M NO HOMO AND I'M NOT FAT I'M BIG BONED YOU WHORE!!!" Cartman screamed through the phone.

As Elenor was about to answer, you slammed the door open. Breathing angrily like an angry bull.

"GIVE ME. THAT PHONE. YOUNG LADY!!" You yelled. "Never!!" Elenor shouted and you started chasing her.

Til then, she finally gave you the phone and you sighed.

"Sorry Eric.. that was my annoying ass sister. I was showering." You sighed as you felt your burning anger fade away by calm water. "You're a retard for leaving your phone out in the bathroom!" Eric said. "I know."

"I'll call you later just gotta dry myself and put clothes on." You sighed. "Hurry up though." He responded. You hung up, dried yourself more, put clean boxers on, and finally some pajamas.

Your POV:

Jesus fuckin Christ Elenor! I don't even know what it's like to get along with a younger sibling. Kenny and Kyle knows, but not me. That sucks. Well.. Stan has an elder sister who he couldn't get along with either at least.

I called Eric again. "Sorry about earlier." I said. "It's fine you apologized earlier." He responded, which I can tell he shrugged.

After having some chat with him, he hung up because he's going to bed. Then Stan texted me.

Whiskey man: hihiiii 🤨🥲🤪😜🥸🥲

You: go home Stan you're drunk

Whiskey man: No not 😭😭😭

You: yes you are you don't usually text hello that way

Whiskey man: wherez Kyle 😜🥴

You: Idk why are you texting me drunk you should do it with ur husband Kyle

After that, the conversation was done. He didn't text back because he's texting Kyle. Yep, Stan is totally drunk.