Mahi- A shattered soul

14. Loosing Temper

Saif's Pov:

Soon we reach Khyber Himalayan resort.
I booked a room there, I heard from others that it's very beautiful and peaceful and after so much dilemma I am in a severe need of peace.
So I thought staying there would be best for me.
It is located at an altitude of 8,825 feet across a sanctuary devoted to nature.

I pat Mahi's head to wake her up.
Gosh! My shirt got wet by her drool.
I sighed
Such a baby she is!
She woke up and looked at me confused but I glare her.
I mean, yeah don't she know how to sleep!?
Then her sight fell on my shoulder and after saying sorry in a low voice she starts wiping my shoulder with her handkerchief.
I kept glaring her.
"Sorry, I am so sorry." She said.
"Do you think I am your pillow or do you think I am here to babysit you?" I replied coldly.
"No, why will you babysit me!" She said.
Because you are my baby!
"Leave it." I said while getting out of the car.

Then after getting the keys of the room. We head towards it.
The room is pretty cool.
It has a huge bed in the middle and beside it there's a huge window giving a perfect view of nature.
We freshened up, then we order our food.
After eating we decide to rest as it's already 7 p.m
And it's not like we are here for our honeymoon.
We came here just to escape Amaan's engagement.
For her I escape his engagement though he is a bit irritating but still he is my friend and we had spent a good time together.

Time skip
Next day

I woke up and saw her sitting at the edge of the bed.
She is rubbing headache balm on her forehead.
I did my morning routine.
I had my breakfast but she didn't, she said that she is not feeling like eating anything.
I decide to go out.
Since she is not ok I am going alone.
After looking myself in the mirror for the last time I turn around.
Suddenly she kept her hand on her mouth and got up from bed in a hurry.
Before I can process anything she vomited.
Yeah, in the room as well as on me.

Mahi's Pov:

Since I came here my head is paining badly.
I am feeling like my head is gonna explode.
I woke up early in the morning due to pain. I even applied headache balm but it is of no use.
Saif asked me about breakfast but I denied.
Even by thinking about food is making me vomit.
I am sitting on the bed more like lying, suddenly I felt like vomiting.
I promptly got up but before I can reach bathroom I vomit in the room and a lil on Saif too.
"Are you out of your mind!" He yelled.
I flinched by his sudden voice.
But ignoring him I entered bathroom and cleaned my face.
"You vomited on me. Can't you see I am going out and you just ruined it all." He said.
"I am sorry." I said in a low voice.
"What sorry haan? Now I have to change again."
"Such a dumb head you are. Now get aside." He said more like yelled at me and entered in the bathroom.
My eyes become teary.
What more I can expect after vomiting on him!?
Suddenly a flashback hit me.

Flashback

When I was 16.....
I came back home from a family trip and starts feeling sick.
Even the smell of food is making me vomit.
But as I was hungry, I had my dinner and slept.
Maybe at 2 am I woke up.
It feels like my chest is burning and I start coughing badly.
My mother woke up and gave me water.
After drinking water it got even worse.
I felt like vomiting but before I can do anything I vomit on my mother's bed.
She didn't even spare a glance on her bed.
She keep rubbing my back.
She was worried as hell for me.
After sometime I start feeling better.
My father cleaned all the mess which I made with his own hand.
They make me sleep on my bed and that night they sleep on the floor.

Flashback ends.

And here he yelled at me.
Remembering this incident I burst out in tears.
Whenever I travel this happen with me.
Maybe due to the change of weather or environment I always get sick.
After changing he went out without looking at me.
He didn't even ask how I am!?
This is what you get when you starts expecting something from an unexpected person!
He held you twice that doesn't mean he cares for you. Get it in this little brain of yours Mahi.

I changed my clothes, wrap a shawl around me as it is cold and sat in front of the window.
I will get better in few hours on my own, I knew it.
My eyes again got teary remembering his words.
I know I am a burden on him.
I am just a useless thing.
I should die.
Whenever I try to be a little positive, my fate shows me my worth.
I don't have any right to be happy.
Maybe it's not in my fate.
Neither a happy life nor a family.
I don't have any family
I don't have any home
I am no one's daughter
No one's friend
And no one's wife.
I am just a useless creature which is existing on this earth without any reason.
And if these things are not in my fate then I must live my life accordingly.
If I will not, then I must end up getting hurt like every other time.
I wipe my tears off.

The view outside is so beautiful.
Indeed, God is the best creator.
Everything about nature is beautiful and peaceful.
Nature don't harm anyone, it's just live on it's own.
Nature is beautiful in it's own way.
There is no competition.
Nothing is more beautiful or less beautiful every thing has its own uniqueness.
I order a blonde coffee for myself and starts drinking it while enjoying the view.
Door opening sound came, I turned to look and it's Saif.
I turned back.
He came and sat beside me slowly.
"Drinking coffee?" After a short pause he asked.
I hummed.
"Akele? I mean sirf apne liye order kiya mere liye nahi?" He said

(Alone? I mean you order only for yourself not for me?)

"You were not here" I replied.
"Hmmm, enjoying the view?" He said
I just nod.
I am not angry on him at all.
Why would I be!
Naraaz apno se hua jaata hai,
Ghaiyron se nahi.

(We should get angry with our closed ones not with the strangers)

I can see from my side eyes he is looking at me.
My coffee is finished so I got up from there.

"Listen" he said
I turn around.
"Your phone is broken so if you want a new one I can..."
"No need"
I cut him off in the middle.
Do he really think I will get happy if he buy me a new phone!?
I am not a gold digger.

Again I turned around.
Again he call me.

"Acha baat suno"

(Ok, listen)

I get irritate

"Kahiye" I asked in an irritating tone.

(Tell)

"Get ready till evening, we are going out." He said
I nod in response.

I didn't ask him where are we going.
I am not interested even a bit.
I am just not being able to feel anything, just an empty feeling.
And it's kinda satisfying because I don't want to feel anything.

Saif's Pov:

I get out of the resort in anger and visit Gulmarg Golf course.
I heard playing golf in Gulmarg is one of the best experiences.
I play there a little but my mind is somewhere else.
I shouldn't have yelled at her.
She vomited on me by mistake. I should have asked her about her health.
Why she vomited? But what I did!
I sat on the side of the ground.
I didn't felt like playing anymore.
I know I hurt her.
I even call her stupid and all...

What if my shirt gets dirty! It's not more than her.
Gawd! Why am I so idiot!?
I don't know why I loose my temper.
Let's go back and make it up.
I came back in room and saw her drinking coffee while looking out.
I sat beside her and try to start a conversation.
I expect her to be angry with me but now I am not being able to get is she angry or not?
Whatever I am asking she is replying.
But the thing is that she is not looking at me.
I mean there's a slight change in her behaviour.

Then she got up from her place.
No, stay! I wanna talk.
I remember her phone is broken. She must need a phone to click her photos here in Kashmir, it's her first visit here.
I call her.
And ask her if she want one I can buy but before I can complete my words she cut me off in between and said that there is no need.
Why is she behaving like this?
She isn't angry with me!
Why?
I want her to get angry.
She is behaving like I am a stranger.
Please! be angry with me.
Show me your anger.
Shout on me.
I am feeling guilty of what I did.
I didn't knew before she'll act like this.

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