It Was Always You / Style Southpark

Forced - Stan

(TW: Sexual Assault)

Before I know it it's third period. I'm sitting next to Wendy behind the bleachers to avoid actually participating. It's cramped and dim behind the bleaches but I can still see just enough.

Me and Wendy Face each-other and sit in an weird silence. "Gym fucking sucks," she whispers. I nod in agreement. She lean up against me resting her head on my shoulder and sighing. She kisses my cheek before moving up and kissing me on the mouth. She tries to stick her tongue in my mouth when I pull back a little "No Wendy," I mumble. "Come on Stan I'm your girlfriends," she whines and then giggles before leaning in and kissing me more. She pinches me which causes me to gasp and gives her a chance to stick her tongue in my mouth. I pull back again. "Are you sure you want everyone to hear about what an awful person you are?" She asks me with an evil look in her eyes. She kissed me again and I half participate in the kiss. She wraps her arms around my neck. I kinda just sit there.

She finally stops and lays her head back on my shoulder. I just feel like really gross and forced. I could cry, but I don't. She hums some song quietly. I shut my eyes waiting for the class to end. Please fucking end. I would rather die then be here.

I hear footsteps approaching the bleachers and I jolt up. It's Cartman. "Yo what's up dude"," he greets me. "And dudette," he greets Wendy. I'm actually grateful to see him. I stand up and slip out the bleachers to hang out with him. Even walking the track with Cartman is better then being around Wendy. We walked and chatted mostly he talked about that girl he's been talking to. What the fuck was her name? Heidi! He talked a lot about Heidi.

Eventually PE ends though and 4th period flies by and it's lunch time. I really need to have a conversation with Kyle. I don't really know what I was thinking this morning or what I was feeling either. Much less do I know what the hell I'm gonna say but I know I need to say something. I have a "girlfriend" now and he knows, I'd imagine he has questions about why me and Wendy got back together. I make my way to the cafeteria and I start to look for my friends.

I spot Kyle, Eric, Butter and Kenny sitting at a table in the corner. Oddly Kenny was holding a... textbook? Oh he's hiding a magazine isn't he. He'd rather die then actually read a text book.  He steals most of his answers from Butters.

"Kyle, can I talk to you for a minute...alone?" I ask shyly. Cartman opens his mouth to make a comment but then he shuts it remember his bloody noes this morning. I grab his hand and I drag him toward the bathrooms. I hear Cartman snicker as we walk away but I don't think he says anything.

I have no idea what to say now. Shit. "Uhm. I don't really know what to say I dude," I pause. "Like I don't even have an explanation cause I don't know what I was thinking," I babble. Kyle takes a deep breath. "I actually sorta liked it. But I know you and Wendy are together so it's totally fine we can just forget it dude," He mumbles. "Wendy is fucking blackmailing me she can get over herself," I hiss. "But, you liked it?" I say teasingly. He blushes. " I don't know...I- I'm still figuring it out I guess? But yeah I think I liked it," he whispers. I laugh "you think?" I mock him. "Shut up I'm trying to be vulnerable or what ever ass face. So yeah I think," he grumbles.

"Sorry," I mumble. he grins "Wanna try again to see if I can make up my mind?" He flirts with me. "No, it's just I'm to confused and in my head right now sorry, I don't know if I actually like you I don't think I was thinking clearly," I reply. "Dude you don't have to apologize, no is no," Kyle smiles. He adds "I was mostly messing with you anyways."

I just look at the ground thinking about me and Wendy behind the bleachers earlier. I grimace. It makes feel so gross.

"Thanks," I murmur. "Friends until we figure shit out?" He questions. I grin goofily "super best friends bro," I affirm.