The Rivening

Endings

At home, Connie took her copy of 'Middlemarch' off the shelf and pulled out the folded-up piece of paper tucked inside. Because she worried about someone snooping in her house again, she'd created a somewhat redacted copy of the note she gave Pria to read to Arden by the passage on the night the Dahrians left. She knew that she'd want to revisit her words to Arden. No doubt, many times. The redacted version sounded like a letter to a lover who wanted her to go away with them. That would amuse someone if they found it.

All these months later, Connie continued to brood about what happened. She only knew the end result. They were gone and the passage to Dahria was closed.

She never stopped wondering how things unfolded in the ravine that night. How much of a burden had she placed on Pria to convince Arden that she wouldn't be coming, and that he needed to return to Dahria without her?

Connie read the note, filling in the missing words to herself as she remembered them. She wanted to reassure herself that Arden would have understood why she didn't go with him. That the blame was hers alone for staying Earthside. Yet deep down she knew the real reason she read it again and again was that she was still trying to convince herself she had made the right decision.

Dear [Arden-Dad],

I imagine that P has told you by now that I'm not coming with you.

You need to go. Don't wait for me [or think you can find me (you can't)] and convince me to come. [I am terrified what Grayson, James, and Ainsley might know and what they might be capable of.] It's crucial that you leave [and close the passage].

Please know that my staying here is about me, not about you.

I can't imagine [permanently] leaving my life here, probably any more than you could think of [permanently] leaving your life [in Dahria]. Even if you had been able to stay longer and try to convince me, it would not have made any difference.

Though it may seem like I have a small life, I am comfortable with it and feeling more secure than I've felt in a long time, and that gives me a lot of comfort. To leave that, for something so big and different [and completely uncertain as living in Dahria], is beyond what I can do.

I'm sorry as I know I acted as though I would be going with you, but I didn't know what else to do [and you need to go back]. Don't blame P for anything! She tried over and over to convince me to come with you. I asked a great deal of her to work this out, and I know I can never repay her kindness to me.

[It has meant so much to me to meet you and get to know you a little.] I will never forget you and the love you brought me. [Like a devoted father.] I will always have that.

[Now go, Dad. You need to go.]

All my love,

Connie

She felt they must have gotten cleanly away. Both Grayson and James had made themselves scarce since then, and she hadn't sought them out either. She recently noticed that the 'bug' under her table had disappeared.

The night the Dahrians left, Connie made sure she was carrying her phone to visit Jean and, later, to Angie and Nicole's apartment. Before leaving home, she told Pria near the outdoor table what she was up to that evening and that she'd see her the next day for their walk. She hoped that if Grayson or James was monitoring her movements, that with those lame diversionary tactics no one would follow the Dahrians when they left.

Over the next few weeks, Jean's health deteriorated following her confession about her fateful negligence on the night of the convenience store fire. Peter continued to visit her. When Connie was with the two of them, she saw that the gentle bantering warmth of their former relationship was no longer there.

Peter was cordial, but distant, and Jean was flat, almost monosyllabic, even when she was alone with Connie. It was as if admitting her role on that sad night lifted no weight off Jean but rather emptied her. And it broke her friendship with Peter. Angie said that Kami seemed to be the only one still able to get a smile out of Jean.

Early one morning, Connie got a call from Angie, "Sorry to call so early. Jean died in the night. They just called. I don't know what to do."

"I'll be right over. I'll go with you if you want."