Never Is A Long Time

Chapter 20

GETTING KNOWN

"Hey. You're up?" Matthew just came in with a plate of sandwich and a glass of milk. "Umm. Yeah. Yesterday is quite a tired day on set." She gets up and sit on her bed, let her forehead getting kissed by him. "Tired day on set? You mean...my set?" He giggles, as he put her breakfast on the table and sit down beside her. "Yeah, your set. I will not saying nice things just because it's you."
"Hahaha, of course. You're always on point."
"And you.. Mr. Gubler, is always a caring person. This sandwich is good." She takes her plate and get some bites. "Well, I made it everyday at the time I was living alone. In a haunted flat."
"Hey, I never hear that. Tell me about it."
"It's a long story. And seems like I need to go now."
"This early? Can't we just go at the same time? With different cars of course."
"Still won't our relationship getting known huh?" He kisses her forehead once again. "But yeah... I need to go now. They need me to check some things."
"Okay. See you there." There's something about Matthew that she found comforting. He never forced anything on her and he's so gentle.

Soon after Matthew leave his house, he got a phonecall from Clara. As long as  Deenah and Josh broke up, Deenah stop to see the band and everyone in their circle. Matthew is aware of it and he's been always telling Clara about her day, wether she's okay or not. Clara knows about their relationship and she's quite understand why Deenah finally accepted him after some times rejected him. She knows how much a caring person Matthew is and he always see the bigger picture of a situation. That's why he doesn't mind to tell Clara, so at least she knows Deenah is okay. "Yes Clara? Yeah, she's a little bit tired yesterday. But she's okay."
"Good. And how's everything? The production and else."
"That's also good. We just need like one more day. Tomorrow will be the last shoot and we'll be finished the production stage."
"Oh, really? That's nice."
"Yes...." He takes a breath for awhile before he can start talking again. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"So... I know she had been avoiding you, the band, and others for months. And I know she will not approve this. But you guys meant so much for her, I'm sure. I want you to know that I will propose her..." She cut him, "What? When?"
"Tomorrow, on the set. I think it's the right time to let he knows. I can't do this all the time. Also, I still feel responsible for their broke up."
"I'm not sure how Josh is gonna feel about it, but yes, he needs to know. And.... So, I will wait for another call from you. Tomorrow?"
"Yes, tomorrow."

°°°°°°

Clara hang up the phone and sighs, she knows exactly what Josh is gonna feel. She just doesn't know how to say that to Matthew. "What Josh needs to know?" Someone is definitely behind her and she knows who that is. "Dad? You were listening?"
"Of course. You're always call someone everyday since Deenah stop seeing us. Do you call her?"
"No, it's...."
"Her boyfriend, Matthew?"
"Dad, how did you know any of this?" She knows she can't lie to him after this. "So, yes. They're dating and I didn't tell anyone because I know how everyone is gonna feel. It's like she's cheating on Josh but... No she's not. She accepted him long after she broke up."
"And?"
"And I didn't have any guts to tell you, because you will definitely tell Josh. And she's clearly won't people to know about her current relationship. And I can't blame her. She seems to has a peaceful life now. Matthew is a good guy, he cares a lot about her. And now, Matthew thinks that it would be unfair if he didn't tell me that he's planning to propose her."
"He's serious about her..."
"Yes he is. That's why... I want to tell everyone at the dinner. So I will not hide anything else. But I'm sure someone is gonna feel upset." Flea knows who's that 'someone' and he knows what his daughter said is true. "Josh? Yes he will. But nothing we can do about it. They were breaking up quite long and he start to hanging out with some girls that the total opposite of Deenah. Everyone knows he's not getting over it."

"You know... He's my friend and seeing him becoming someone that's not him, makes me really sad." He says to Clara, before he leaves her room.

°°°°°°

"So, Josh. Don't you ever think to end this?" She takes another drink while resting her hand on his shoulder. "Seriously? For what?"
"Ah come on. You never, ever, touch me even once. You're here just so I can accompany you. I know no one that ever do that with a hooker like me, and with my hooker friends."
"You're right. I just need someone to accompany me. I payed you for that so don't ask me."Josh take the glass and drink it himself. "Come on, tell me the story. Did you ever seriously committed to someone?"
"Alright alright. I guess now I get a listener." He sighs and then look at her, "Yes. I did. Once. With someone that now I don't know where she is."
"And you angry?"
"Yes. To her, but mostly to myself. I don't know. Why do you even care?" He turns to her, expecting to see her annoying face but he only see a sad one. "Well, I once had a serious one too. I bet you must be thinking how I ended here, aren't you?"
"Umm, surprisingly yes. Now tell me about it."
"He's dead. That's it. Ain't no dramatic story. Just, dead. He was the one who made me stop doing this job for awhile. He was much like you. Payed me just for talk. He said that he can't see me go through many guys' doors. He said.... I'm too precious for him."
"Then what happened?" She looks down for awhile and then tries so hard to keep her head up. "Umm... I almost quit from this place. To be with him. But then I heard that he shot himself. Now I feel like I can't go anywhere. At least I got some memories here, with him."
"Do you ever know why he did that?"
"Not sure.. but someone told me that he didn't actually shot himself. My boss did that and cover it up."
"You think he shot him so you will not run away?"
"Yeah. I know he would not shot himself. That's...fishy." she smirks, looking at Josh and knows Josh hide something himself. "Ah, but how about you? How you two separated?"
"Umm. Not a nice thing to say."
"Tell me about it. I talked about the death of my love. Yours would not be worse than mine."
"Well... She's much alive. And I heard she live somewhere not far from here. I just don't know exactly. But I know she's still here. The worst part is....she barely visit her parents again, the only place that she ever visited since we broke up. She had some friends and I know them.... Guess what, she doesn't even keep in touch with them."
"Can't even call her? Or text?"
"Too bad she left her phone with me, at the day we broke up. I know I can't just emailed her but.... It's gonna be awkward." She, out of nowhere, laughs. "Oh come on! It's the love of your life and all you can think about is awkward? Stupid."
"You said what?"
"Stupid. Just emailed her! For fuck sake."
"I don't know. I'm not sure. But...maybe I'll try. When the time is right."

°°°°°°

"Break!" Matthew stop the shoot and stretches his back, walking to get some water when he see that Deenah is staring into someone. He walks to her and touch her shoulder. "Oh, hey. I didn't see you coming."
"I'm sure you didn't. You stared into something?"
"Yeah, I think it's J.....umm... Nevermind."
"You sure you fine?" He checks her forhead and hold her hand. "Yeah I'm...good." she smiles to him, trying to assure him that nothing happened. "Hey." He put his face close to her and her hand on his chest. "What are you doing? Someone will see this."
"Listen. Now, you see me?"
"I do. Why?"
"I wish I can see you this way everytime." He smiles and then touch her cheek, "And wishing that someday I will find something behind those eyes of yours." Deenah knows exactly what he's talking about, she doesn't fully open up about everything to him. There's so much things about Josh that she still had in mind. But now after times she spent with Matthew, she feels like he's the person who treats her well. Very well. She loves to be on his side but she just not sure if it's really love or another thing. But one thing that she won't do one more time, to let him down the way she let Zach down. The way she turned Zach down for Josh, didn't end up well. So she makes a promise that she will not leave Matthew unless he really wants her to. He gave so much to her and she has to admit that maybe she needs to return the favor.

"Wait here." Matthew go into the trailer while Deenah still enjoying the scene on set. "What do you get in there?" She shout out when he took too much time in it. "Just wait, I'm looking for something." He says and then comes out not so long. He put his hands on his back and walk to her, kneeling. "Umm, remember that we told each other not to publicize our relationship?"
"Yes?"
"And remember what I just told you, that I want to know more about what behind your eyes?"
"Of course. You just said that 10 minutes ago. What's it about?" He take a deep breath before he can say the next thing. "I...want to end that."
"What?" She feels her mind going crazy as she just thought about stay but then this thing happen. "No... No. Don't get me wrong. I mean... I want to get into another step and end this phase." He show his hand and take her hand, reveal a ring on it. "Would you wear this? And for he record, if you reject me right now, it's totally fine." He smiles, as usual. Waiting for her response. Deenah, on the other side thinking so hard about wether she's ready or not. And then she see his eyes, where all of her happiness came from lately. She's glad yet confused. But then something tells her that she shouldn't let him down, just like her promise. "I would." She says and kisses him, hug him with happiness and love that now seems to be ever lasting. He then put the ring on her finger and now both Matthew and Deenah smiling to each other. Revealing a big release from their shoulders. They didn't notice that everyone on set are looking at them and now cheering at the same time. One of the crew, Andre even shout it out loud. "Come on!!! I was right all this time! You hear that pals? I knew they're dating!"
"Whatever Andre!" Deenah is on her palms, giggling and blushing.

PERFECT COUPLE

All of the band members, complete with their families are having a gathering for Flea's conservatory. They're planning on some jams and other things. For them it's a nice chance to actually hang out together. They even invite Zach as one of the guess. Clara is the one who pulling out camera and taking pictures of them all. She's really happy about the idea to hang out together like this. Everyone's here and it can't be more better. But then she remembers about Deenah, about how if she was here with them. But she wasn't. Then she also remembers that Matthew should had proposed her today and she doesn't hear from him yet.

"Did it went well?"
"What went well?" Josh just suddenly walking passed her while reaching the stage. It's kinda surprised her and caught her in guard. She's not sure to tell him about the proposal if Matthew himself doesn't tell her how it goes. "Umm. Nothing Josh. Don't mind me."
"Alright!" He goes up and then getting ready for a jam when he hear Chad says something. "What the actual fuck?" He walks to the stage while looking at his phone. "What's wrong Chad?" Anthony go to him and then they looks at Josh, hoping he will not see what they see. "Excuse me Josh. We'll be right back." Both Anthony and Chad go down again and this time they go to Flea.

At the backstage, they straight into their question. "Flea, did you know any of these?"
"What's that?" Flea take a look at that and now he got what concerned his friends. "Where did you get this?" He returns the phone to Chad and wait for his words. "I knew this audio guy, Andre. He once helped me with Chickenfoot. He just posted this on his account."
"You know?" Anthony questioned him and he knows he can't hold anything. "I...yesterday I heard Clara talking on her phone. I always knew that somehow she tries so hard to reach Deenah and I knew she knew anything about Deenah from her boyfriend. Matthew."
"The guy that took her from Josh? Great. How can she did that?" Anthony almost swearing but then Flea stop him. "For fuck sake, you can't blame her. Okay? Josh is our friend, my friend. But can you guys, for once, thinking about what happened that day? I'm sorry but if Josh didn't ignore her like the whole week, she wouldn't even go the that cheap bar alone and one thing leads to another." It's like he just spit all the things and it's silenced both Anthony and Chad. And then Flea continue, "Now. Look at that. You know you can see how they're happy to have each other. She said yes to him. It means, he treated her right. She's happy and now that's all that matters for me. I'm sure there's a reason why she doesn't see us again. She wants to moving on and get her life together. Now, let it be." He leaves them and walking back to open the door, just to find Josh behind it. He has no idea how long Josh is standing there, probably listening. "Josh. How long you...."
"Long enough, I think." He smiles painfully, and then continue. "Don't worry, I heard it all and I'm good with that. I was messing up, I know." He turns back and walk away like there's nothing happened. He sit on his chair and take his guitar.

"Josh, you sure you're okay?" Flea ask him just once more before they really start the jam session. "Not really. But, I can handle this. Glad to know what she's up to. At least."

°°°°°°

Matthew and Deenah just got back from their dinner and she's too tired to stay up. She told him she needed sleep right away. So right after she falls asleep, Matthew sneak into his closet and make a phone call to Clara. "Yeah, umm she's sleeping right now. How's everyone? I mean, you already tell him?"
"Josh? Well... Too bad before I had a chance, he found out about it from Chad. I...I don't know how it turns out, but seems like he accepted the fact pretty well."
"Ah... I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, of course you did nothing wrong. You did tell me about everything, I'm glad for it. Also...hope the best for you two." Matthew feels a little lighter afer hear things from Clara. Deep inside he hope Deenah still in touch with her friends, because he knows how they're meant to her. It's hard to see her struggling by herself not to see all of her friends. "Thank you Clara. I promise to try everything to bring her back to you. You're a good friend of her."
"Well.. I don't expect much but..thank you Matt. Good bye."

He put his phone in his pocket and then comes out to the bedroom. There's something that still disturbing his mind. He's not sure but the thought of Josh and the messy break up is haunting him. Especially when he see her sleeping there on his bed, with her tired yet peaceful face. He can't imagine how it would be different if he never step in their relationship. He think about the possibility that maybe she will be sleeping on Josh's bed instead of him. He feels guilty, and he cares too much about Deenah and it makes him in a confusing dilemma. Even though he wants to live his life with her, he can't get the guilt out from his mind. He takes his phone again, this time he makes a text. Even he's not sure it's a good thing to do, but this might be something that can solve everything.

°°°°°°

When she checks her phone, she finds one single text from Matthew, asking her if she can bring Josh to him tomorrow. Reading such a text like that, Clara ask him back.

Can I know what's this for?

She really hope everything is fine and nothing bad happened between him and Deenah.

I never talk to him or even say a proper sorry since that incident. I hope they can be at least friends again. I feel like she's lonely enough to live with just me, separated from you, Josh, the band, and even her parents. I really want to live with her, but not this way. Not avoiding everyone that supposed to be the part of her life.

To be honest, she doesn't find it to be a good idea. Matthew and Josh at the same place, talking about the person that they both in love with? It can turned to be worse in a second. But she also think that what he feels right now is reasonable. He already proposed her, probably going to marry her. She can totally understand if he want to start their new life as a clean blank space. To see her live her life normally. It's a common sense.

Okay, I'll ask him first. I'm not sure if he will agree to come or not. I can't promise you about it. But I'll try. I'll tell you his decision tomorrow morning.

Just some seconds after her last reply, she get another text.

Alright! Thank you so much Clara. I'll wait for it.

°°°°°°

"Come on Josh. Please. He just wanna talk. I know you really don't want to talk about her, but please think about a possiblity to clean everything out. At least we don't have to be like a stranger with them anymore." He totally agree on the last sentence, but to meet Matthew is something that could be a disaster for both of them. He has a bad feeling on it. "Can I just call him tomorrow morning without really facing him? I really think meeting him will create another problem."
"Umm..... I don't know. But, if you really think like that, I'll tell him that you'll call him. Thanks a lot Josh."
"Yeah. You too."

Minutes after Josh hung up the phone, he get Matthew's number from Clara and then save it immediately. And then he start to over thinking about stuff. It's still hard for him to remember that she's engaged to this man. The fact hurts him so much yet he can't deny that she became away from people around her because she's trying to avoid him. It put himself partly as the cause of her loneliness. If only he can leave all his friends so she can be together with all of her friend and family, but he can't. Some of her closest friends are also his friends.

°°°°°°

"Matt? Where's my brush?" Deenah can't find it anywhere, not in her dresser. Matthew answer her from inside the toilet. "Really? I thought I put that there. I swear!" Deenah always love the way Matthew forget things. Like, for her, it's really cute. He's a caring person but at the same time can be really clumsy. "I can't find it!" She giggles while looking for it. "I'm so sorry! I'll help you right after I finish!"
"Right! Finish what you've started." She referred to him taking a shit. "Thanks honey!"
"Speed it up! You need to help me."
"Yeah, yeah, of course."

Right after that, she spotted her brush just right next to the bed light. On the Matthew's bed side. "Jeez. He said it's in my dresser." She take it and laughs to herself. "I found it!"
"Really? Ah thanks God. I'm so sorry."
"Stop it. You said sorry too much." She can't help but laughs again. "Okay. I'm gonna.... finish this first."
"Take your time....." Before she can finish her sentence, there's a ring on his phone. She take it and see a strange number. "Honey? There's a phone call. Should I pick it up?"
"Yeah. Just say that I'm in the bathroom and I'll call 'em back."
"Okay. I'll pick it up."

°°°°°°

"Hello Matthew, it's Josh." He's anxious to talk to him even though Matthew's the one who wants to talk to him in the first place. "Hello? Can you hear me?" He's still waiting but doesn't even get a response. "Matthew? Clara said you want to talk to me. I'm sorry I can't see you in person so I call you."
"Clara said what?" Unexpectedly, instead of hearing a voice of a man, Josh hear a familiar voice from a woman he's always thinking about. "Deenah? I...umm... I'm sorry if I disturb you two. I'm just.." Then he can hear her walking, knocking a door and there he hear a man's voice in the background.

"Hey. What's wrong? Why you look at me like that?"
"Matt. What I told you about get any contact to him? I told you not to doing that like a million times." Josh can guess that their conversation will soon becomes a fight. "Deenah, listen. We're about to have a new life. I want to fix everything."
"That's why Matthew. Because we will have a new life, you shouldn't digging out my past for God sake!"
"Deenah...what are you doing?"
"I'm sorry Matt. I...I change my mind." Then he can hear someone leaving the room and close a door. He knows it's Deenah because he can hear Matthew's frustrated voice after that. And he can't feel more guilty than this. He feels like he ruined something important just because of his call.

°°°°°°

"Hi, umm... Sorry that you have to hear that Josh." After some time, Matthew pick his phone and finally talk to him. "No, Matthew. I'm sorry for what happened."
"Yeah. That's...not your fault. I just want you two to be friends once again. Also Clara and everyone."
"I know. Clara told me about it. Maybe she just...angry to hear my voice. I'm sure she'll be back. You two are going to marry, she's not going anywhere." The part of him tell him that it seems like she will never comes back, but he really hopes what Josh said is true. "I... I hope so. And thanks Josh, for calling me. I hope we can talk in a better situation."
"Yeah, me too." Then both of them hung up and all becomes silence again. He's alone in that room, waiting for her to ever comes back. He looks up his phone once again, seeing the picture of them right after he proposed her on set.

"What did I do wrong?"