Never Is A Long Time

Chapter 30

First, I'm so sorry for being inactive last week and probably for the next few weeks. I got pretty bad stomach problem and I can't do much. But I try my best to update something this week. At least. It might be a short one, but hope you'll understand :)

ALL I EVER WANTED

"Captain? Hey, you're there?" They're in the middle of the track and she keeps rocking her head back and forth. The sleepy eyes of hers are taking her move now. "Yeah, I'm...here." She rubs her eyes and Josh decided to stop for awhile. "Are you sure? Looks like your eyes are really tired. Need a rest?" Josh quickly take her back because she can't stand steadily. "I'm good. I can walk. Also, we need to meet them soon. Come on." She makes another step but then he stop her. "No. You're tired. Come here and sit." He pull her down and forced her to sit and put her head on his shoulder.

They're just sitting there for an hour, Deenah was already asleep and Josh is staring into the woods, expecting someone to come out. "How long we'll sit here and wait?"
"Wh...I thought you're asleep?"
"Well, no. I mean I was, but then I heard some sounds like leaf or...."
"Leaf? Are you kidding?" Josh is looking at her with a disbelief stare. "Yeah, leaf."
"Well no wonder you have a sleeping problem."
"Kinda. So....can we walk now?"
"Pffft. Stubborn...."

"Hey, there you are!" They turn their head and see Zach and Clara behind them. "What the hell are you two thinking? Me and Jack was looking for you and you two wasn't there!"
"Sorry, my bad." Deenah takes the blame. "Nevermind, let's just...come with us now." Now Clara takes the lead and bring them back to the group.

"Hey umm, Clara." Deenah runs a little ahead both Zach and Josh to catch Clara at the front. "Yep? What's up?"
"He got a fever last night, he's better now but I think you should give him something to prevent that to happen again."
"Why not you?"
"Well, you know.... Better if you.."
"No, I won't. It should be you."
"Oh come on..."

"What happen?" Zach is shouting from their back and it snaps whatever they're talking at that moment. "No. Nothing everything is fine." Deenah shout back to him while keeps eyeing Clara, begging for help. "I said no." She says once again with a smirk. "Oh, and by the way, we will have a pit party at night. I think all of us will have a drink anyway, there's no way Josh will take any medicine. For real."

Back to the group, they finally can take a rest after walking quite far. Deenah is taking her bag from Jack again. "You know I didn't change my clothes and now it stinks." She jokes to him which he takes it with giggles. "I know. Sorry for not returning this."
"Ah, no problem Jack. You just tried to help." She then goes to her tent and changing her clothes.

"Hey, you done?" The tent is closed but she knows exactly that's Josh. "Umm, almost. What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just... asking about the wound. Better or..."
"It's better. Don't worry about it." She holds her breath a little. "And...thanks for your concern."
"Yup. Anytime. If you need help...just tell me, okay?"
"Yeah, sure." It's still weird for Deenah to actually 'cool' with Josh. Not like she wants the fight or something, she just can't be used about being close with him again and she doesn't know how to take it. She open the zip and peak out a little, seeing Josh walks away and joining Irontom boys for a preparation. She tries to steal a glance at him, to his face and his smile but something slam her back to her mind. "I shouldn't do that, for fuck sake. Should not involved with him again. I should not...."
"Shouldn't what?" Suddenly Anthony walks in front of her tent and hears a little of her words. "Jesus! Anthony you scared me!"
"Well sorry then! I can't knock at a tent."
"Just... Nevermind." She open the zip completely and then walks out, leaving Anthony behind and trying not to think about that again.

With a bottle of medicine on hand, Deenah brave herself to give it to Josh. He did good to her about the wound and she should return the favor to him. "Hey Josh." She touch his shoulder and he turns his back, accidentally almost bumped into her. "Oh, hey. Everything is good?"
"Yeah. All good. I just want to give you this... You know, for your fever."
"Umm...I feel good. Really. I don't think I need it or..."
"Just in case.... If you don't feel anything, you can keep it. But it you feel sick or something, you know you'll need that."
"Well. Thanks..I guess."
"And if you feel sick don't....."
"Don't get drunk. I understand." He smiles to her, caused her face to be kinda red and she quickly turns her face. "Okay. Bye." She walks back to her tent, zip it close and then throw her head back and forth. "Uhh, stupid Deenah! Shouldn't get nervous at all."

When the sky start to turn darker, Jack and Flea prepare the pit while Anthony and Chad go for the drinks. Josh and Zach go to actually prepare a proper food. From inside the tent, Deenah can hear how excited those boys are, plus Clara who literally having fun with her camera. Deenah just doesn't feel like in a good state to socialize. To recall the past year, she was a totally loner-hard worker who never go camping with friends and having a fire pit. So it's kinda weird for her now. She feels like she can't 'really' find her place among other. And for her to see all of those happiness from so many people, just feels wrong. "Hey. You're gonna join us or what?" Suddenly someone wakes her up from her intensive self-talking. "Oh, hey, Josh. I'll catch up later, thanks." She tries to smile to him, which is obviously not the generous one and she knows it. And then she zip close the tent so she doesn't need to explain anything.

She lays down, bending her knees to her chest and just start cursing herself. "Why it feels soooo hard?? Damn. What's wrong with me? I should've just having fun out there. Screw you Dee. Pathetic, you should be ashamed of yourself. It's not a big deal! Really!" Deep inside, it hurts her more to hear all of them now singing along around the fire like it's just a summer camp. She wants to join it, but she has no idea if she can handle it or will going totally insane about it.

"Hear that? That's a fucking yodeling out there. Geez."