Never Is A Long Time

Chapter 32

ALL THE FEELS

After thinking for awhile and get his mind cooler, Josh goes out of the tent, thinking about say his sorry to her. "I really shouldn't...."
"Hey Josh." He hear Zach is calling for him. "Yeah?" Zach leave Reina and walk to Josh. "Flea is looking for you. I think he wants to talk about your band's stuff of something."
"Alright, thanks Zach. But honestly, I need to talk to Deenah first. Can you tell Flea to wait? And by the way, did you see her? I can't find her around here." Josh looks around but he can't spot Deenah anywhere. "Ah, about it. Did you guys had a fight earlier? Because she bumped into me, crying."
"We...we did. That's why I need to talk to her, I want to apologise."
"She's not here, she said she need some air. But I probably know where she is."
"The river?"
"Yeah, how do you know?"
"She told me about the river and memories about it... yesterday."
"Oh, okay. So you know where's the river, right?" Zach gives him a pat in his back. "Yeah, I guess so. Thanks Zach."

°°°°°°

"Why can't I get over this? I should have moved on long time ago." She buries her face on her knees and then just staring into the water from the gap between her legs. It makes her having an idea to go swimming. So without a doubt, she put her bottle and jump into the river.

°°°°°°

"Dee? We need to talk..." Josh looks around but he can't find her. It's only the bottle. "Dee? I'm so sorry. Please, I need to talk about....." In the middle of calling out for her, he notices someone in the water. Face down but a hand floating from the edge of water. With a specific bracelet that looks like hers. "Oh god! Dee?" He got panic and jump to reach for her. The stream is weak so it's not like she was dragged into the water by it. He start to have assumption. He thinks she tried to kill herself. "Deenah!" When finally he can grab her arms, he lift her body and bring her out from water. She's not breathing. "Deenah, hey! Wake up. Please! I will not forgive myself, please wake up." Josh trying his best on CPR and making the water comes out from her mouth before she's back to life.

"Please don't do this again. I'm sorry to say those things...."
"Josh..."
"No Dee. I can't imagine you actually tried to kill yourself. That's my fault..."
"Josh listen!" Finally she can cut his words and giggles a little bit. "I wasn't killing myself. I was swimming but too drunk for it, ended up hitting my head on a rock." She lift her hair and show him her forehead. "So...you were not...."
"No, I wasn't. And thanks...for saving me once again." She takes a breath and then trying to sit.

"I.. It's really scary to see you like that. I thought I'm gonna lose you and I was afraid of thinking about it." She let out a sigh. "Josh..."
"No, I will not forcing you into anything if you feel don't want to."
"Josh. It's not like that. It's not like I don't feel it. I'm just really scared of getting hurt. And I already think about it, after you told me that you were afraid of losing me...I am too. But you know it's not easy for me. So.... Will you giving me some time?"
"I understand. If time is all you need, that's fine. But promise me, no matter what your answer is, don't avoiding me or anyone ever again. You did that a lot."
"I promise." Josh quickly landed a kiss and it's getting passionate. When he let go, it's kinda shocked her. "We need to go back and change our clothes."
"Yeah..we should." And then they don't say anything on their way back.

°°°°°°

The next morning, all they know is they wake up inside Josh's tent only with blanket covering their bodies. He remembers going back from river and everyone was asleep and he can't hold himself to continue his kiss which lead into making out and then having sex inside his tent. He can feel their skin touch each other with Deenah still asleep. Her breath is heavy, going through the skin of his chest. He almost forget the bite mark that he left on her neck, which kinda reminds him on how much turned on he was last night. And he still is.

Then he reaches his phone and look at the clock, it's almost 8 a.m and they need to packing and ride back in an hour. So he wakes her up carefully. "Dee..wake up.."
"Umm...."
"It's morning already. We should leave in one hour."
"Can I have 5 more minutes? You made me run out of breath last night." He can't help but giggles. "Sorry about it. I couldn't resist."
"Yeah, I could see that. Suddenly kissed me when no one was around. Sneaky. And....You were....kinda rough. The bite, and the way you locked my arms, and when you were..."
"Did I hurt you or anything?"
"Umm, no. I just didn't expect that. You surprised me. I tried so hard not to screaming....you know."
"I'm sorry. I didn't expect that either. I don't know why I was like that last night." He scratches his head and smile nervously. "Don't be sorry. Last night was amazing."
"Was it really good?"
"Yeah. I can describe it more if you want. And....."
"And what?"
"You sure we don't have more minutes? I feel yourself getting hard again down here." She snuggles and linger her arms around him. His hand is going through her back, tracing her skin and he's rooting for her.  Josh looks at her, he knows he can't miss this. "A quick one?"
"It's up to you Josh." She kisses him gently. He smiles and kisses her back. "Okay, we have 5 minutes."