Pained

10

a part of me wonders if you still care
in my head, it's unfair
but in my heart, it's my own fault
and you, my love, i exalt

though it's been a long past few months
here we both are, stunned
sometimes you're very different
giving me hours on each inference

some concerns leave me quivering
as i sense your warm body shivering
in a way, i think you're confusing
other times, to read you is easy

i know you want to get better
so let me lend you my sweater
i mean no harm
please do not be alarmed

i'm too scared to be persistent
because i see the state you're in
yet it's difficult and natural to not pursue
for i have deeply fallen for you

sometimes i begin to lose myself
'til my mind becomes mythical as an elf
i don't want to die
with you, i want to live a happy life

but other times, i think you're addicted
attached to a darkness that is realistic
because other things make you hurt
until you're speechless of words

i'm getting lost once more
somehow, worse than even before
please provide me with honesty
and tell me about your feelings for me...