Pained

37

i dont know what to say to you sometimes. i feel so awkward and like your side piece. like i don't matter to you like i used to. like i mean absolutely nothing to you. maybe i don't because it feels like that. there was a time in which you made me believe that i could find peace with everything i've done. you gave me all the hope in the world. and now, i think i've lost it because i can feel myself slipping away. i find it hard to tell you that i'm really not okay. i do and i don't want to talk about how i feel. i want somebody to talk to, but at the same time, i'm scared that you won't care like i want you to. then i realize it's best i do stay quiet because if you did care, you wouldn't be doing this to me. and then when it's late and i can't sleep, i realize you do care and that you're just lost with yourself. i'm confused. i'm screaming. crying. slowly, slowly dying.