Pained

61

yesterday, a friend of mine was losing her stability. she asked to hold my hand, and i immediately grabbed her's. i guessed what was wrong to myself in my mind because i remembered the reason she was like this the last few times she couldn't breathe. she interlocked her small fingers with mine and squeezed my palm tight. when she did that, it made me wonder when the last time was that somebody had even wanted—in this case needed—to hold my hand. it had been years before yesterday. so in our class, i didn't make her talk about it. i already knew. i spoke to her in a quiet voice, trying to comfort her until the first tear fell. i wiped it away and called our professor over, requesting that he allow her to go have some time to herself to calm down and let her emotions emerge. i know what it's like to lose somebody. her loss was too recent and who passed was too young to leave. she needed it as much as i need it in this moment right now.