Pained

133

you were so kind to me
as i was growing up in
my father's back office that
you also worked in

you always kept me entertained or
busy and safe when
he was working and
making money for the house

not once did you let me feel alone, j
you were so amazing
it made me laugh when you
made all the guys uncomfortable by
being your stubborn, confident self

you knew what you were worth
everything you did,
you took pride in and
it was so inspirational

i don't think i ever told my dad
about these moments we shared
when you'd teach me how to
get him to agree with me more

or when you showed me how to
crawl through life's fascinating caves
and to explore the
vast world of stories within books

you always found new things for me
and taught me how to become myself
you made me feel it's okay to
strut if i want or to shy in the shadows

you told me nothing mattered but
my happiness and
i thank you for that
for being my role model as a woman

and in your battle with the tumors
you beat it, love
there were consequences but
you have finally beat it

how could it have beaten you if
you still managed to roll your eyes
in your last days and
held our hands when
we reached for yours

you are a warrior and
i'm going to miss you so much
thank you for being with me
i love you

-october 25, 2018,
  for you, jeanette