Week 1. Group date

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It was still the day of my one-on-one with Brent. I had arrived to the apartment I was staying in about an hour ago. I was laying down on the couch reading a book when I heard a knock on the door.

I got up and went to answer the door, thinking that it could be Chris Harrison or someone from the production team.
But, when I opened the door, I was greeted with an unpleasant surprise.

"Hi...?" I was so confuse and I didn't know how to react to the person who was standing in front of me.

"Hey Alanna, can I come in?" that thick, raspy voice still haunted me in my dreams.

"Yeah, sure." I stepped away from the door and he entered my apartment.

What was he doing here? Why now? Why today?

We sat down on the couch where I was laying down. There was a moment of awkward silence, but then I spoke.

"Kris, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something important."

"Mmm, okay. What is it?" I asked him.

"I made a mistake. I was so stupid letting you go and I have been miserable since I said goodbye to you. I thought I was making the right decision, but then I realized that you were the one that I wanted. You are my whole life and it would be crazy to not tell you that, because we could finally be together." I was in pure shock. For one second there, I felt my heart stop and all the color from my face drain.

"Hold up. Wait a second. You came here, to my apartment, to tell me that you love me and you want to be with me?" he nodded and grabbed my hand. "Oh my god. You don't know how long I waited to hear you say that."

His face just shone after my words.

"Really?" I nodded my head and I could see his enthusiasm. "Wow, that means a lot. I really love you and now we can be together." he leaned in and tried to kiss me. Before that I stopped him.

"Wait, Kris. You didn't hear what I said. I said 'you don't know how long I waited for you to say that.' I waited for three months. I was deeply in love with you and I was crushed when you sent me home. I was blindsided and after watching the season, I realized that I got played by you. You told me you loved me, but you said the same to Sarah and Kennedy. I get that you needed to make tough decisions when you were in this position, I get it because now I'm in that position and making those decisions. But I don't love you any more, I don't want to be with you any more."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. But what the heck did you expect? That you could come here, tell me you love me and suddenly I will be all over you? Well it doesn't work that way. There is a group of great guys here for me, they put their lives on hold for me, they left their families and homes for me, and I cannot turn my back away from that." You could say I was angry, and I was, but I was also sad.

Once again, an awkward silence filled the room.

He then started talking. "I will be honest, I didn't expect that and I think I should go."

"Yeah. Maybe you should."

"Yep." We stood up and walked to the door. "Good luck Alanna."

He then walked away. I decided to go to sleep because tomorrow I had a date.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I was standing in the deck when I saw all the guys run up to me. Cameron picked me up and hugged me tightly.

"Hey guys. Welcome to Santa Catalina Island." They all answered with a hi. "You see that yacht over there?" I pointed to the yacht. "That's where we are going today."

We were in the process of boarding the yacht, when I felt a hand touch the small of my back. I turned around and saw Colton helping me.

I smiled to him. "Such a gentlemen, thank you."

"You're very welcome." He returned the smile.

"Guys, so today I wanted to just relax, enjoy the ocean, enjoy the sun and maybe go for a swim."

We were having a good time, we were laughing, drinking and relaxing.
I had talk to most of the guys and kissed most of the guys.

Cameron and I went to swim, Kyle and I ate nachos, everyone was having a good time.

I was having a conversation with Ronny, when Colton came looking for me.

"Hi handsome." We hugged and then sat down.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"About what?"

"Everything. About this week, about the future, about everything."

"To be honest, I don't know how to answer that. Last night something happened that I didn't like and I don't know where my head is at."

"Something happened with Brent?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"No, my date with him was great, I had a blast, but then a thing happened, and I don't want to be secretive, but until I know what happened, or how I'm feeling, I don't know if I should tell you."

"By what you are telling me, it sounds serious."

"It was serious, but I don't know how serious."

"Well, maybe if you tell me your problems we can solve them together, you can trust me no matter what."

"I really appreciate that and I do trust you, it's just that I don't want this news to travel around the house."

"I understand, and if you need help with anything, I'm here for you."

"Thank you so much." We stared at each other's eyes and in a moment, our lips were locked.

But I heard someone clear their throat. So we had to break the kiss, and I turned around to see Liam standing there.

"Hello stranger." He smiled widely with what I said.

"This is the first time I can have a proper conversation with you. Because the first night, was so quick and we really couldn't talk."

"Yeah, usually the first night is like that. Everything moves so fast."

"Yeah, I feel like I have to rush and give you my life story in like to two minutes we have."

"I used to feel like that last season. But since then, I have found out that if you enjoy the company, you will make every second count."

"I suppose you are right. I mean, I want to make every second count, so let's make this moment count."

"I like that. So tell me something about you."

"I was previously married."

"Are you divorced?"

"No, I'm a widower." I looked at him. "My wife passed away a year ago. We were together for almost 4 years, married for 2 years."

"Can I ask how she died?"

"She got lung cancer. It was very aggressive and the doctors told us she only had at least 4 months when they found it, but we were able to extend it to 7 months without her being uncomfortable. She was so strong, but when she died I thought I couldn't love again, I thought that I could only have one love of my life and she was it, but then I convinced myself that you can have more than one love of your life."

"When did she die?"

"She died last year. And I know maybe you are thinking that it is too soon for me to be looking for love and maybe you are thinking I am not worth your time, because I recently lost my wife, but let me tell you that it is not like that." I looked at him, I wanted to speak, but he continued. "I am here for you, and I want to find love. When my wife was ill, she told me that she didn't want me to be mourning her death. She told me to find love again."

"I'm sorry." he shook his head.

"It's not your fault." I hugged him, and we stayed there for a while.

.   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .

"Well guys, this is where we say goodbye. I will see you later in the night. See you."

Everyone said goodbye to me and then I was out of the yacht.

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