Chapter 19: Escape

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What the hell have I done?

I felt a movement on the bed behind me, then warm soft lips touched my bare shoulder. I winced.

"G'morning."

Turning away, I muttered, "Fuck, Alfie."

"Yeah, we did fuck."

I rubbed my face, before stepping out of the bed. I didn't give a shit if I was naked. He'd seen me naked multiple times before. I wasn't gonna get shy now.

"You should go," I told him.

"Why?" He frowned.

Because I wanted to hate myself in peace for what we did last night. But of course, if I said that, he would ask even more questions.

"Guys aren't allowed –"

"Bullshit," he cut me off. He got to his feet and stalked towards me, staring at me with his piercing green eyes. "Do you regret what happened last night?"

I didn't back down from his stare.

"We broke up for a reason. Now we're starting shit again."

"Do you have any idea how much I missed you?" He shook his head, looking away in frustration. "Sure, when we broke up, it was a mutual decision. But fuck, I wasn't ready not to see you every goddamn day."

My forehead creased. "You haven't called me in months."

He cocked his head and gave me a look. "It takes two to tango, babe."

He was right. But for me, it was hard hearing his voice and not seeing him. Same went with the rest of the crew. So I never got in touch.

"I promise to text and call every now and then," I assured him. "But you gotta promise me something in return."

His eyes stayed on me, waiting.

"Promise me that you'll give it your all and won't give up."

He looked resigned. "Fuck, Con," he sighed, dropping on the edge of my bed. "I don't know if I can promise that." He let out a low chuckle, placing his elbows on his knees while his hands were on his hair. "All this fucking pressure is eating me alive."

In that moment, I saw my childhood best friend again. My feet took me to the bed and I sat down beside him, putting my arms around him and my chin on his shoulder. I couldn't do anything but comfort him silently like this.

But then, he started kissing me again.

I pulled away. "I can't," I mumbled.

"Why not?" he whispered in that husky voice, trailing kisses on my neck. "Whatever the fuck it is, it didn't seem to stop you last night."

Placing my hands on his shoulders, I pushed him away and looked him in the eye to make him see that I was serious.

"Last night was a mistake."

There was a flash of hurt in his eyes. "Are you fucking somebody else?"

His possessive tone snapped something inside me.

"What's it to you?" I demanded. "We're not together anymore, Alfie. You don't see me demanding how many girls you've fucked since then."

I stood up, grabbed an oversized old concert tee from my chair, and pulled it over my body. Alfie's eyes hardened as they landed on my now covered body, getting the meaning behind the gesture.

He nodded, getting to his feet. He started grabbing his clothes and putting them on. I crossed my arms over my chest as I waited for him to get done. He picked up a random sweatpants and threw it to me.

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