Fighting for love

Chapter 22

Nolam woke up alone in bed. Clytia was nowhere to be seen. He knew he should be worried but somehow he was relieved. He wasn't ready to face her, not knowing in what mood she would be. No matter what happened with her dad, it was bad enough to break her. And the fear of losing her over the drama was paralyzing.

He got up and went in the bathroom to shower. When he got out, Clytia was back, standing by the windows, a glass of water in her hand. She turned to face him, a small smile on her face when she heard him.

"Hey honey." He said walking to her.
"Morning Nolam. Did you sleep tight?" She asked while she briefly hugged him, before going to sit on the bed.
"Yes." He answered. "You?" He asked as he dressed up.
"It was good to have my husband by my side, even if he snores." She answered playfully.

Nolam knew better than to believe her light tone. He could see the poorly hidden dark circles under her eyes, her shaky hands grabbing tightly the glass, her tensed shoulders, the way she would avoid looking at him straight in the eyes.

She was stressed. But clearly had no intention of letting him know.
He walk to her and sat beside her, taking the glass off her hand, emptying it and leaving it on the floor.

"I do not snore Mrs. Winter" he said as he settled behind her, legs spread on each part of her. He started to massage her shoulders.
"Are you trying to bribe me into denying the snoring claim Mr. Winter?" she asked smiling.
"Is it working?"
"Maybe?" she answered, rolling her head.

He stopped and made her turn around to face him. "Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?"

Clytia stared at him. He had on his forehead creasing lines as his eyebrows were frowned. She could feel his fingers caressing her knuckles as he was holding her hands. She didn't know if she was ready to let him in yet.

The conversation she had with her mom earlier in the hotel lobby wasn't reassuring. Her dad wasn't backing down. She had no intentions to, either. She meant was she said. She had agree with her mom to contact her uncle and have him be a mediator. Till then, she wanted to try to relax a little. Not recessing the whole ordeal.

"No." She simply answered, looking back at him.
"Cly! I can't help you if you shut me out."
She got out of the bed, standing few steps away from him as she sighed. He wasn't ready to let go.
"I'm not shutting you out. You asked me if I wanted to talk and the answer is no, I don't want to."

"Honey..."
"Why can't you let go for once?" She asked as she ran her hands over her face, her voice strained and barely audible. She sounded tired.
"I'm just trying to be there for you." He answered getting up. "It is pretty obvious that your dad doesn't like me."
"You think?" She huffed sarcastically under her breath.

"I'm pretty sure he just need some time to get use to the situation. But how can I help making things better if I don't know the extent of his repulsion toward me? Just explain the situation to me?" he said his hands in his pockets.

"Why does it always have to be about you?" she answered her voice wary. 

"What?" Nolam was genuinely surprise by both her tone and question.

Her eyes were narrowed and her lips turned into a thin line. She looked annoyed and ... pissed? He couldn't figure out what exactly was wrong but he had the feeling that things would go down pretty fast. He took a step back, trying to give her some space as she continued.

"You asked me if I wanted to talk about yesterday and I said no. Why can't you respect that?" She yelled at him.
"Clytia, we can have a conversation without screaming" he noted, taking aback.
"No! We cannot!" she continued on the same tone. "Since you don't seem to understand when I talk to you."
"Cly..." he tried to interrupt her, but she kept going
"I am telling you that I don't want to talk but you keep on pressing, pressuring me. Why won't you listen? This is all you fault. You never listen. Everything has to be done your way. I told you I needed time with my parents, but no. YOU wanted to meet them. I hope you're happy now!"
"Cly..."

"No, shut the hell up Nolam! For once in your freaking life, shut up. You have to understand that everything cannot be the way you want to! I warned you, but you wouldn't listen! Why? We were good! Why the need to involve our families, uh? You don't need my mother nor my dad to cheer you up when you fuck me, do you?"

She noticed him flinch at her words, but she didn't stop. She kept going walking back and forth in front of him, pointing at him from time to time.

"Am I not enough for you? Or you need a choir composed of our families by your side to support me! I should have been enough! But no! Sir Winter here needs more! Always more! Did you not wonder why I kept pushing when you wanted to meet my family? If it would have been easy, why wouldn't I have done that! I'm not that heartless. You never put yourself in my shoes! I'm just tired. Of all this crap, you, my family, all of this. I wonder if this is worth my sanity." She finished breathless, her eyes throwing daggers.

Nolam's jaws dropped, speechless. Apparently she was holding some grudges against him.

Maybe he shouldn't have pushed her so much. He walked slowly to her. She was now facing the door, her long dress caressing the floor as she kept rocketing from one feet to the other.

She jumped when she felt his arms snaked around her. He wanted to reassure her, to tell her that everything would be alright. However, he wasn't sure anymore. What happened with her dad must have been really bad for her to react like that. He was about to open his mouth when she pushed his arms, getting out of his embrace.

"I can't do this anymore Nolam." She whispered, refusing to face him.
"Honey, I get it."
"No, you don't."
"You don't want to talk now, fine! But we can work things out as long as we're together."
"I'm tired" she replied without any energy in her voice. "It isn't worth it Nolam. I can't. I'm sorry. I need some air." And with that, she left the room, leaving him astonished, and worried.

Two hours had passed since Clytia left the room. Nolam had spent the first sixty minutes staring straight up at the wall, feeling doomed. The next sixty minutes had been spent wondering: Why? Why did she leave him there? To burn? Did she actually care? He gave her all of him. Now she was gone. And he was alone.

He wished he knew what her dad had told her. But whatever, it was, it was clear that he was losing her over it. Her family didn't like him. They didn't want him for her. They wasn't willing to give them a chance.

He felt like he was fighting an invisible fire, trying to numb wounds he couldn't even see. It wasn't fair. Not in the slightest. Not with how much convincing he had to do to win her over. Not with all the sacrifices he had done to be with her. Not with how much he loved her.

He thought about calling her. No. actually, he did call her. But her phone rung beside him in the room. He almost felt like it was taunting him, reminding him of his failure. Should he call her brother? To tell him what? That she was gone? That his marriage was falling apart? That he was losing his wife? That he didn't know what to do to keep her? What a shame! He thought.

He was leaning against the railing on the balcony, staring at the empty when he heard the front door. He didn't turn around to face her. He didn't feel like it. Not when he was pretty sure she was leaving him. He had never been good at goodbyes. It was even worse in this case, considering how in love with her he was. She was breaking him. And there was nothing he could do to prevent it.